Shoe Shopper and Shaggy Dick 2

Blackmore Dve

119/5/10

The Run

A showroom up on the paddock where there were model airplanes last time! Jungle knocked down. A new road going through. Migrant worker huts. Welcome to more progress, Singapore style. Crikey!

Off we set, along a jungle trail running parallel to Blackmore Dve before descending to the railway line for a Circle. The smart money was on the opposite direction to Bukit Timah Rd, and it was Vibrator who was soon in need of a woman. Up into jungle on the other side of the railway line, Legolas led the way and was even heard to call ‘On on’ at one stage.

Reaching the canal, out onto Clementi for a Circle that had the Pack scratching their head, or another anatomical feature in the case of Great Balls of Fire. Legolas disappeared into the jungle, Vibrator tried the overhead bridge and I went straight along Clementi Rd. Vibrator returned, so everyone headed back to join Legolas in the bush. I refused to turn back, and continuing on I finally spotted paper on the other side of Clementi Rd, obviously Vibrator had stuffed up.

Well, at this stage there was not a lot I could do. There was not another runner in sight, and the traffic noise meant calling ‘Need a woman,’ was a waste of time. I could run back and find the pack? No stuff them, I’ll run on by myself. Up Clementi and into the jungle trail by the old railway line. Along the fence line, up and down to emerge at Sunset Way. But which way??? Back to Clementi Rd of course and over, down onto the old railway line. Cock Tease did some serious screaming in the mud, and Maggot commented it was too late for us to take trail up the embankment into the jungle. 2 minutes after he said that, we struck a T check on the railway track and it was back up the embankment into the jungle. Nice one Maggot.

Aye Aye continued to complain about the Hare breaking all the checks. Stiffy just continued to complain. Cock Tease continued to tease. Then back down onto the old railway line back to the canal, over the Malaysian train track and back to home along the new road with all the workers huts in about 1 hour 10.

Crikey, what did we think of that for a run? ‘ Brilliant’ said the GM, but she may have been biased. Too long, too dry, not enough shopping, not enough shagging. Good run, well done, thanks Hares, at short notice.

Stiffy’s Hash Maths. Toy Boy said 5kms, Maggot said 6 km. Stiffy comes up short again.

Tell us about your on on mate. Pizza on site, $5 or $10 for pigs.

Well what about next week? Cock Radio, Sembawang. It is a brand new road, not in Directory yet. Head to Sembawang along Sembawang Rd. Turn left at Gambas Ave then turn right at first lights –Sembawang Ave.

It is then the very first street on your left,

Mighty Maps 13 – you can see the new street shaded in dark green but unnamed. Drive to the end of it.

On on will be at Chong Pang.

Virgins: – nope

Visitors, returnees and other misfits:, Cock Tease, being a Valentines Day Masochist, used her Bullet Head Vibrator to amuse Sex Change who was Confused and became Stiff. Did they get VDM?

New Member – Michelle, having received her St George’s Day shirt from Stiffy, honors her agreement and has signed up. ‘She’s a little flat chested, ….’ And Michelle takes a peep at her boobs to check.

Lippy – Cock Radio automatically goes in for running ahead for 2kms on his own without any sign of the pack. Vibrator, Great Balls of Fire and a few others come in as well. Did we get Lipstick? No, the GM forgot it, so instead she gave us all a swift kick up the bum and said don’t do it again. Ouch, ouch, ouch..

The Tits – Slim has the Tits for Father Anus, but wait, Father Anus is here? Slim tells him to f*#k off anyway.

Virginia then promotes the Seletar 30^th Anniversary Run, but they still don’t have a logo. So who in the Harriets can he turn to for artistic inspiration? The sight of Twin Towers changing provided all the inspiration Slim needed. 2 round circles with a 3 on one and a 0 on the other.

Twin Towers tells Slim she doesn’t need the Tits, she has her own real ones. Still complaining, she proceeds to put the Tits on her back, prompting Jack Off to comment, ‘Wow, so many Tits!’

The Dick – Stiffy asks what is the symbol of penis envy? Yep, sports cars. So there is Forced Entry in her little white machine, preparing for the run. The male with the penis envy issue comes over, checks out her sports car, then drags his wife over to admire it. But if that is not enough, he then pushes his wife into the little white machine and sits in the seat next to her. Wow, do you have an envy issue or what Stiff! Take the Dick.

Awards- nope.

AOB

· Twin Towers comes in with her 4 Tits and calls in Shopper and Stiffener for being blonde and forgetting things, including the lipstick.

· Not Tonight tells us that the English St Georges Day shirts have become collector’s items. Valuable, rare items that are highly sought after. So what did our new member Michelle do with her brand new shirt? Yep, wore it on tonight’s run, through the thorns, prickles, mud sweat and tears. The nice new white St George shirt had lost a bit of it’s sparkle by the time it came back.

· Michelle is still angry at getting the Dick when she was only a virgin, so Hooray cops another blast. Be careful with your Dick around virgins, you might upset up.

· Shaggy Dick 2 was bringing up the rear with some of the girls, or he was doing something to their rear. He got back a little late with these gals. Why? Because Trash didn’t want to get mud on her shoes along the old railway line. Trash then blames the mossie.

· Stiffy tells the story of Michelle hugging the beautiful old banyan tree last week, claiming it would bring her luck. As she works in the Casino here, Stiffy thinks that is rather a strange way to get lucky.

· Cock Radio then charges Stiffy with plagiarism, as I had already written that story in last weeks run report. Not only does Stiffy talk all the way through the Circle, but he doesn’t read the newsletter. Shame, shame. Well done to Handbag for being the only one who read the newsletter last week and knew where this charge was headed!

· Stiffy observed Goody Bag drinking water out of her bottle, when the lid fell and she lost sight of it. The first place she looked for it was down her top. Stiffy thought that was rather ambitious thinking. I would have asked Goody Bags if she wanted some help searching for it.

· Accommodation wanted. Goody Bag is looking for an apartment to share, close to the city. If you know of anyone looking for a housemate, contact Goody Bag URGENTLY.ph 97376603

(Is Sembawang close enough to the city Goody Bag? –CR)

On on on to Pizza on the Path

Scribed by Cock Radio.

Hello Singapore Hash people

I just wanted to quickly let you know that starting from May (7th & 8th = approx 2 weeks from now), I am bringing over the The Best of The Edinburgh Fringe to Singapore every month.

The Fringe is widely regarded as the Olympics of Comedy and everyone I bring over will have either performed sold-out shows or won awards.

I know Hashing is all about having fun, so in that spirit I would like to offer a 20% discount to all Singapore Hash members – so the ticket price will be $40 a head rather than usual $50.

If it takes your fancy (and really what is better than beer and comedy!) then organise your groups and give me a call (Quill +65 9007 5651) and I will reserve your tickets.

Around 1/3 of tix have been sold for each night ALREADY and some huge mailblasts are going out next week, so start collecting basic numbers and give me a shout (you can always add more later!)

For more info: http://www.thecomedypimp.com/comics.html

Cheers (or On On if you prefer!)

Quill (aka The Comedy Pimp)

P.S. If you don’t wish to receive further emails from me then just reply with ‘unsubscribe’ in the subject line.

The Seletar Hash House Harriers held our first run on 21 June 1980. 

We will be celebrating our 30th anniversary on Saturday and Sunday, 26-27 June 2010. 

All hashers are invited to join in our celebration. 

This is the weekend before Interhash 2010, and we are an official pre-ramble, so we are expecting a big crowd from overseas hashers on their way to Kuching.

The cost for the 30th anniversary celebration is $100 for two days of all you can eat and drink and run.

For more information, please contact Microdick@hash.org.sg

Details and online registration can be found at http://seletar.hash.org.sg/30/ . Online payment using credit cards or PayPal will be available soon.

Or, you can also give Singapore dollar cheques or cash to any member of the disorganising committee.