Run Report – Run 1919 31/3/2010


Run Report #1919 31/03/10

The ‘Rescued by a Guest Hare’ Run

Jalan Kampong Chantek

Hares: Sneaky Comer and Cheeks Out

The Run by Legolas

Arriving at the run site you wouldn’t be wrong to think this was a Lion City hash. Not only because of the large number of visitors from Friday but also because one of the hares was Cheeks Out. Almost forgot I had to start the run but some unsubtle hints got things going on time. The pack ran off along the fence at a good pace only to slow up at a T – back to find the on along the jungle trails but were stopped in their tracks again by a circle check.. What was Indecent Exposure doing adjusting Armless’ trousers in the mddle of a run? The on was finally through a small gap in the fence which produced a few comments about the more rotund hashers not being able to squeeze through and even a skinny one got stuck on a protruding nail.

The next obstacle was a high drop down to the path along the highway which put the first group of hashers on the lookout for a short cut. Jackoff fell off and over but was soon up and running again. Then it was the drain. We had been warned by Cheeks Out that if it began to rain or we heard thunder in the distance to get out. Once in there was no out! Slippery, high unscalable walls not to mention no foot holds. Cheeks Out we were definitely in, luckily for most the check was on on in the drain. The next check took off through some bush and having called the on was surprised to hear “need a woman’. Wet Patch had ‘just crashed through’ Isn’t that short cutting? On on to a T cunningly hidden at the top of a drain which luckily we didn’t have to climb up! Across into the jungle again and Vibrator pushed ahead – no he didn’t get lipstick as it was to gallantly help a lady hasher down a rather steep bank! On along the stream (boggy river more like said Singaporn and Lost Marbles)passed a bush camp and back onto the clear paths of the nature reserve where we wound back and forth across Rifle Range Road and back to the run site. An interesting run – well done the hares.

Stiffy’s Hash Maths. The boy toy hasn’t been seen in some time, has it run out of batteries? 6km according to Garmin maps.

Crikey, what did we think of that for a run? Good run was called, in fact Boo called “riun of the year” if there was free beer at the on on. There was, so please re-open the voting J.

Tell us about your on on mate. Red Lantern.

Well what about next week? Dances with Kerbs, Zipp, Sybil and Gypsy will be at Clementi Wood next week. Clementi Wood Drive, near Japanese Schools, see instructions at top of newsletter and on web site.

Virgins: nope.

Visitors, returnees and other misfits: Cheeks Out, Little John, Malfunktion, Carol, Cock Tease, Vibrator, Stiff, Stiffler, Krit, Totally Unacceptable, Knickerless, Eleven, Circle Jerk. Welcome.

New Member – nope.

Lippy – Hooray (as usual, but only for 50m before he ran out of puff), Malfunktion (a likely story), Little John (another likely story), Boo and Comes Quietly. The last few came in reluctantly until Twin Towers started applying the lipstick. I thought lipstick was supposed to be a punishment but some of our naughty boys (well one in particular) seemed to be getting too much punishment/reward.

The Tits – Boo has both tits and lipstick so we do wonder what is going on. Actually Boo was delegated the tits last week by Forced Entry who wasn’t planning to be here this week. So Boo is looking for a look-a-like for Forced Entry, candidates are Jack Off and Cock Tease. Cock Tease gets the tits and we hope she will return next week to give them away.

The Dick – Not Tonight has a Dick related charge, in fact a few of them. The first one was a “challenging dick”. Early in the run we had to climb down a steep wall at the BKE, but fortunately there was a small dick sticking out of the wall to help us get a leg over down. This wasn’t enough for Singaporn though, who needed additional help. Malfunktion volunteered to kneel down and allow Singaporn to step on his back to step down. What a Sir Gallahad! The second dick was a little dick. When we finally emerged from the stream and jungle, we found a nice smooth running trail. Not for Handbag, who managed to trip over the tiniest dick ever seen on a Harriets run – a root, that is, sticking out of the trail. But the third dick was the massive dick spanning the creek, that we all had to slip and slide over. All of us, that is, except Wet Patch who managed to slip and straddle and then crawl like a caterpillar. Emerging sheepishly he was pleased that no-one saw that. Or so he thought! The Dick goes to Wet Patch but they all get a drink.

Awards – nope.


· Hooray calls the hares from last Sunday’s run in. Kan the Kobra was setting an “shorted handed run” which implied they were a bit short handed. Now we all know Sunday runs are normally about 30km and 3 hours, but on this occasion Hooray the web site implied a short run, so Hooray went to the run only to be treated to 1:45. Here’s to Kan the Kobra for false advertising.

· Shoe Shopper is “not one to start rumours”, apparently, but tonight’s goings on are worthy of mention. Returning to her car to shower, Shoe Shopper noted Great Balls of Fire departing the area around Ugly Bum’s car adjusting his shorts. Ugly Bum was in nothing but a towel and calling after him “you can pay me later”. Give them both a note.

· Shoe Shopper was on the run with Vibrator and Comes Quietly pushing her along, when Comes Quietly said “watch out Vibrator, you’ll get a nose in front”. That deserves a drink for both of them. Somehow Wet Patch got a big nose charge as well.

· Stiffy was approached by Vibrator with a sob story tonight. He confided that he was very upset with Shiggy Piggy for sending Speedy Tits off to Europe, so now he has no-one to run the hash challenge with. Kannot Kan weighs in – which is worse, a date with Vibrator or a 42km run in the jungle?

· Jackoff tunred up at the run tonight, happy and relaxed, until Legolas asked her where the run went. Suddenly Jackoff got nervous, would she have to do a live hare run? Here’s to Legolas for scaring her unnecessarily.

· Malfunktion wants to see Gypsy and Loose Change. He noticed Gypsy lying down with his hands behinds his head, no doubt having a nice rest, when Loose Change came up and asked “had he pulled anything lately”?

· Shoe Shopper wants Sneaky Comer in the circle for being a wuss. During the week he issued a call for co-hares because “he didn’t want to be in the jungle alone”.

· Ugly Bum has Shoe Shopper in to return the favour on things overheard. As she passed shopper’s car, she overheard “honey, I am an absolute idiot, I forgot all my clean clothes”. Just reporting what she heard.

· Legolas has Handbag in for overtly looking at his watch. Sorry Handbag are we keeping you from something important?

· Jack Off calls in Shoe Shopper – if she borrowed all her other clothes, why didn’t she borrow a pair of flip flops?

· Someone charged Legolas with having a wet patch. And when one Wet Patch drinks, all Wet Patches drink!

On on On on to Red Lantern.

Scribed by Sneaky Comer.

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One Response to Run Report – Run 1919 31/3/2010

  1. Sneaky Comer says:

    PS Thanks to Father Anus for helping me recce this run. Although he couldn’t make the run he made a big contribution.

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