. . . for Mac fans
Circle Report - Run 1796
Twas the Run before Christmas
Arcadia Rd
Fat Crashing Bastard and Too Easy (they're leaving, on a Chocolate plane)
Well, this report got off to a bad start with the announcementv of a wet circle and the scribe caught with his pants down and no paper or pen and the hares are in the circle already. Luckily Squire came to the rescue with a piece of tissue paper he found under his back seat and a half chewn pencil thrown out by the local primary school. The other thing I should point out is it is now Christmas night, i have had a bit of Ausssies finest traditional foods accompanied by equal quanties of wine and beer and I'm trying to read these scrimpy notes. I therefore apologise if all is not the truth in this newsletter (same as normal i guess, why am i making excuses?)
Also, i got to the run 10 mins late, but this turned out a good move as Wet Patch, who gallantly waited for me, and I caught the pack coming down from a slippery steep hill T check next to the PIE with Boo laughing his head off. If Boo is laughing like that, it's always one to avoid! Then it was off through the golf course tracks with Tiger Lily pretending she knew the way, but really having no fucking idea, as normal.
Did she receive for Christmas either? a) A compass, b) Global Navigational System, c) a seeing eye dog, d) a white cane, e) very dark sun glasses f) all of the above? Well, the New Year will tell, but really I don't expect to notice any bloody difference. Follow Boo!
After the golf course we hit some great jungle trails, places I've never been. great checks, T's and starategic use of vines and prickles. Shoe Shopper was caught with one leg either side of a nasty vine, giving her a huge prick between the legs, but she fought gallantly onwards with a smile. What a trooper! Yours truly was alarmed by the agony of Mr Potato Head ahead, warning of thorns. 'Fuck' to the power of 3 was screamed by CR as a nasty torn bush grabbed across his leg, but at leas t this cleared the way for the safe passage of all others following. And so heroes are made. G String whimped it (come to think of it, she showed a lot of courage, or was it stupidity?) by allowing Cock Radio to piggy back her across a stream and save her runners from becoming soggy.
Well, I really enjoyed this run, it had a bit of everything and some great new trails. thanks hares, great run. Although the lack of any army presence was very evident, disapointing lah! haha
Next week:
Boxing Day Run
Virgins and others:
Sue, Lethal Weapon, Sara,Tia Maria, Wet Patch, G String, Turbo, Dorothy, Wanker (not sure what his real name is?)
Tits, Dick and Tutu:
All missing in action, but I still reckon Mr Potato Head is a fair chance for his who cares attitude the other week!
Fat Crashing Bastard mentions, as he is going to Aussie land, a worry about a Tassie guy who got bitten by a shark while in a cave at Bondi Beach at night. How safe is this country? Give the Tasmanians a note. ( editors note: from Australia, I can disclose that this wanker was actually an out of work New Zealander who cut his arm on a broken window of a house he was breaking and entering and turned up at the local hospital and said a shark had attacked him and bit his arm. He is now in police Custody)
Loose Change was in distress on the run, in the jungle alone calling for help. Oh woo is me she thought. But who came to the rescue. Fat Crashing Bastard! Our hero.
Shaggy Dick, having just commenced 4 weeks holiday, was very jovial and was even seen having a beer or 3 after the run. Having aroused the hormones suitably, he just had to have Goody Bags in to demonsrtate the splits. Thanks GB, and thanks SD from all the males!
Wet Pet suggested we had a new Goody Bag, a certain other female kept slipping and doing the splits in the mud all the run. Welcome in Zipp. (lucky Gyspy!)
Fat Crashing Bastard mentioned our virgin Sue had a problem in the jungle with the lack of light and possible dangers that brings about. Fair enough too, good point. However, on turning her peak hat around the other way, she found it was actually still broad daylight. She's seen the light, helaluhah!
Zipp pointed out that sometimes you just have to go, and after all those splits, it was no wonder Goody Bag had to go. So behind the hedge fence she went for a squat, only to find that the hedge fence was guarding the 16th hole of the golf course! Puts a new meaning on the term 'Hole in One'. Would you go for the driver or a tap in with the putter?
Loose Change brings in a Brown Goody Bag for Fat Crashing Bastard, and in it is a pair of googly eyes that resemble his as he was watching Goody Bags do the splits. In other words, popping out of his head! He also received some squeezing balls and some plaster which he used to stop his eyes wandering everywhere. But one more Goody Bags splits just saw him lose eye control again and out they popped (and he wasn't the only one, nor was it just the eyes that lost control!)
We can't leave out Too Easy from this, and it seems she will have to get used to putting up with snake bites if she is moving to Australia. Octopussy seems to have the cure for snakebite, suck on a bottle of wine! In fact in Aussie, you are welcome to suck on anything.
It was then off to the pool and a lovely BBQ, as the hares practice for Australia, but did they throw another shrimp on the barby?????
Good luck Mr and Mrs FCB.
Well. that's as much as Squire's piece of paper holds, and it is 10.30 pm Christmas Night,
so On On ON
Hope you all had a good Chrissy,
Cheers from Aussie land see you in the New Year,
Cock Radio