Circle Report - Run 1809
Bishan Park
Dog Meat and Knobby Boy Scout
12/3/08
Circle Report
The Run.120 mls of rain for the day turned the CTE into a car park and Bishan Park into a Swimming Pool. This didn’t stop 15 hardy (foolish sad souls) runners from turning up. The first point of interest was how come the Hares aren’t wet at all? Well, we haven’t set a trail actually, we have been sitting in the café all afternoon! Mmm, potential problems here for the Hares. So it is decided that the hares would take the pack off for a run around Bishan Park. Dodging ducks, fish, octopus and other creatures of the deep, the end of the park was reached safely without a drowning, although I was ready to provide CPR to Goody Bags if required. Those that wanted to stay in the relative shallows turned to do a loop while 6 or 7 took the plunge across Upper Thopmson Rd into the depths of Lower Pierce for a workout. Anyway, it was a satisfied group who arrived back at the Beer Truck to find the rain had stopped and it was all systems go for the Circle.
What did we think of the run?
Too much flour, what’s wrong with chalk? Down with their pants for not setting a live run!
Next week
At this stage, Open wider was clueless on this point, but yours truly can disclose that it will be a St. Patricks Day run with Fag Sucker at Dempsey Rd, On On to Harrys. Of course, wear green.
Returnees
Steptoe, Herr Zipp, Pubic Zipp, King Lear, In an Out
Tutu
no doubt this goes to the Hares who led the pack through Bishan Park. No excuse guys, this is a ladies run! Did they actually set a run? If not, shouldn’t they pay Guest Fees. Life is tough guys, get use to it, and pay up!
The Dick
Loose Change had an sms episode with C. Radio inquiry about Darlene’s name, as he replied yes, I know she is a darling but what is her name? I could leap to my own defence but why spoil Loose Changes blonde moment! Now Lick Her Arse C. Radio! Loose Change then received some lovely roses for stitching someone else up. Actually she has been doing a bit of curtain sewing.
Handy Bag got Hell of a Helen Hunt in, apparently she was after a 69 of some sort during the run. Well, why not, I say!
Stiffy has realized something that grabbed my attention too, that being the wonderful set being displayed by Hell of a Helen Hunt. She was proudly displaying her ample assets in a Father Anus Birthday run t shirt from a few years back, but we know she was not even in Singapore for that run. So what did she offer in return for the shirt father Anus???
Herr Zip brings up a point, as a returnee who has paid guest fees, he doesn’t expect to have to be involved in a recce, and he wasn’t even given flour, chalk or paper but there he was tonite, along with the rest of us, trying to determine where the trail was going. Good point, have a drink Hares,.
Stiffy lays the boots into the Hares a bit more by asking why there were no back checks. Where there any checks come to think of it??
The GM brings up a point regarding Hell of a Helen Hunt, her name is preventing the Harriet’s newsletter from getting through the filter sysem of 99% of members so something must be done. And she is our new Hash Cash. (and I use the word ‘ours’ generically, so as to prevent those nasty males having another go at your scribe and what side he is actually on!) Pubic Zipp backs this up, what a mean name, we should be trying to attract new members, not turn them off. Why do we have so many men and so few ladies? This is actual serious stuff for a change. So it is decided for decency all round that Hell of a #unt will now forever be known as High Beam. Turn them on babe!!! (ed. Note. Wednesday was one of the coolest March days on record, just perfect for headlights!!)
In and Out makes a perfectly appropriate comment, which I missed due to giving Headlights my full attention, but he charges himself by doing a John Cleese impersonation and hops into the circle on one leg (come to think of it, ever tried hopping on 2 legs?) spanking his bottom and saying ‘ Who’s a naughty boy then, who’s a naughty boy?’
Not Tonite has a go at the Hares, and rightly so, for spending the entire afternoon sitting under umbrellas and cafes instead of setting a run. Here’s to wimps…….
The GM recognizes an easy target, so she keeps the Hares in as they msg her at 1pm that they are in café waiting for the rain to stop, 4 pm they are still waiting in the café. So it should have been a live run, of course. And you guys got caught, so drop your pants. And unfortunately for the majority of the circle belonging to the male gender, they did. Was that a jock strap??? Nobby Boy Scout, you gotta be living in fairyland mate! Why do you need to wear that? ‘They’re all right, they’ve got a teeny weeny jock strap but …..’
Herr Zipp is also puzzled about how Hi Beam got hold of a Father Anus celebration t shirt from 3 years ago when she has only been in Singapore a few months? No acceptable response from either party? Then guilty as insinuated!!
In and Out then has a whinge about Father Anus for giving Headlights a t hsirt top instead of a singlet top . If it was a loose fitting singlet top we could all have had a peep through the arm holes at her Headlights.
Hi Beam then responds to In and Out by making some claim that she is really only a low beam but hasn’t he heard of the Wonder Bra?
In and Out fires back by referring to Suzie Wong and claiming he didn’t realize there was a need for a Wonder Bra. Good point mate. (or 2 points actually)
Now that we got all that off our chest, and no cheap shot intended at our next Harriet with a charge, we move on.
So in comes Tiger Lily who mentions that while the runners were getting slightly wet on the non trail, Open Wider was seen fully dressed, with umbrella, and checking the café menu in the park. She reports that the breakfast menu sounds good, but at $18 is too expensive lah! Not Tonite asks for any Seletar members, apart from Goody Bags. In comes Boo . Tiger Lily was running near Chestnut Ave on Tuesday and came across Seletar runners on the opposite side of the road who called ‘On On’ to her, not only on 1 occasion but twice! Do Seletar guys need glasses or do they run pissed, come on guys, Tiger Lily cant be mistaken for a guy, just because she hasn’t got Goody Bags or Hi Beam Headlights.
CRadio then reads from a Straits Times article;
Dear Boo,
‘I am sitting in a restaurant and am going to eat alone. On reflection, I am sad my life has come to this , life is passing me by. I am really down, depressed , I may even throw myself out the restaurant window , except its on the ground floor. Please give me your shoulder, you have always been a kind, considerate friend, please help me’ Reply from Boo.
‘You’re eating alone coz you have no friends. You are a sad person. You need to know this. Take it on the chin’
Give Mr Sympathy a note! ‘He ought to be publicly……..
(by the way, the writer of the letter was someone called Quickie)
Tiger Lily is making up for lost time and gets the Zipps in. Pubic Zipp is in top form and has had a running event win in the US since we last saw her. Herr Zipp has had a win in consuming lots of alcohol , the only reason I can think for him coming in. Well done Zipps! Goody Bags actually says what everyone else has been thinking, ‘ Isn’t this the 2nd week in a row that Tiger Lily has been at the circle drinking beer and making charges?’ Give the escaped Tiger another beer, not that she needs it!
Father Anus has Goody Bags in (half his luck) and charges her for getting lost at the first circle check. Considering there was no trail, let alone any checks, this is possibly one of Goody Bags better efforts. Father Anus, when he has not been giving away personally autographed T shirts of his celebration run, observed Goody Bags break the world hot, step and jump (triple jump) record along the lack of trail. What made her jump so far and high? Something called the ‘GW’ spot. Yes, the ‘big GW’ spot. And what is this ‘GW’ spot you may ask? This was none other than a section of big Gooey Worms on the pathway. So it was some big long worms that hit Goody Bag’s ‘ GW’ spot. Give wormy a note.
Stiffy knows a girl with style and gets Tiger Lily in to demonstarate how she puts the Carslberg beer holder (condom holder) on her beer. Yes, slides it on the correct way and its ready for action, no interruptis drinkus at all. Dogmeat then is asked to show how he put it on and has no idea. Get a girl to do it for you mate.
The AGM was announced and Boo was charged for something Booish, but Croc Hunter just fed me another beer and I missed it, no doubt Boo deserved it though.
Loose Change decided to have a foot massage , just like the ones Shaggy Dick 2 tells me about he has in Lor 14 Geylang, and she put her feet into a lovely Ding Mynasty bowl of special water only to turn the pristine water immediately into a yucky horrible brown resembling the Thames River. Open Wider and the GM cop a serving for this, not sure why but no doubt deservedly so. Stiffy, who must have had too many beers by now surely, although he does start school holidays in 2 days so why not, calls for an assistant to come and pretend they are going on the Singapore Flyer. Apparently before boarding, you are able to put your feet in a bowl of water containing miniature piranhas that nibble away at your flesh to remove all traces of bacteria and dead skin. Think I’d rather keep my dirty feet thanks.
Not Tonite says this is the first time she has seen this happen in 12 years, so I guess it’s a ‘Yes Tonite’ charge by Not Tonite. Quickie and Boo turned up late for a run, in fact they arrived after the run. Was it because they didn’t want to get wet or did they stop off for a Quickie in the car on the way. Give them a note ‘ If this Mercs a rocking, don’t bother knocking’
Open wider has Stiffy for going down too quickly, or something like that, things were a little hazy at this stage.
At this stage, Tiger Lily had a little accident that resulted in her beer condom coming off and a broken Carlsberg on the ground. Oh dear.
In and Out tells us how he likes High Beams name but questions her about the possibility of being renamed Low Beam in 20 years time. Bring back Helen hunt name she says!
Stiffy, who is on fire tonite, is still puzzled as to why High Beam received the special shirt and what happened to the Other Woman ,who we assume is Miss Vietnam. (I think Miss Vietnam would definitely be Low Beam actually)
v Tiger Lily is back in again! She charges the Hares for providing inadequate directions to the run site and it cost her $33 in taxi fares. Well, that will teach her for being slack in taking a taxi instead of running to Bishan from Bukit Batok.
The GM makes reference to Licker My Arse who is not here tonight but is with the males in spirit. And on that note, it was across the road for what turned out to be possibly the worst selection of Hawker Food ever selected by 2 causacians. I’m still trying to get those chicken feet that were in the soup, out of my throat. Not to mention the dried cuttle fish and…. . Yeah, ok , the boiled white rice was not bad.
Cop u later,
On On
C. Radio