Circle Report - Run 1815
Jurong Heavy Vehicle Car Park
Cock Radio and Comes Quietly
23/4/08
The Run
For some reason the pack headed off at 6 pm. Since when did a 6 o’clock run ever start at 6 o’clock? Bring back the old committee! A T check the other side of the car park had quite a few runners scrambling over the embankment only to get called On Back. Down along the creek, then along a ridge at the top of a hill until a nice shiggy trail turned into a stream that then forked into 2. The logical way was to go straight ahead, but the hares, not being logical nor knowing exactly where they were, took the stream to the right which was rather tough going! Eventually the pack found themselves on some decent running trails, allowing the mumbling front runners who had been caught behind on the narrow trail to overtake and stride out. However, some confusion soon took place as the paper ran out. ‘Someone has picked up the paper, the bastards’ cried the Hares. Couldn’t be National Parks out here, perhaps it was Mas Selamat who picked up the paper as he didn’t want 30 Hashers discovering his hideout! Or perhaps he had a dodgy curry and was in desperate need. Anyway, back on trail with paper again, through the illegals huts, into yet another stream and through the Elephant grass. More good running tracks for a fast hit out, out onto the footpath, and then back into the bush one more time to emerge at the car park, but not before a slippery muddy descent down the embankment which created some rather cheeky runners. Apparently a few front runners short cutted this section and complained that the run was too short. Run the F*#*ing Hash!!!!!
Circle Report
What did we think of the run? Not enough streams, more shiggy, who took the paper? All this then turned into a vote of ‘Good Run,’ best run this Committee has ever been associated with!
Lipstick
A motley assorted group of naughty little boys were brought in, including Wet Patch, Steptoe, Stiff, Hi Beam’s boyfriend.
Next week
Right Royal Tit (who was not at the run as he had a sore throat, something Thai related I believe) Shaggy Dick 2 was able to tell us though that the run is on Upper Thompson Rd, the new car park near The Long House.
The Dick
missing, do the Seletar boys have?
The Tits
Wow, tonight we had dueling tits. There were the old saggy tits, worn by Cock Radio, and there were the new, big and firm Tits worn by Not Tonight. Not Tonight was not too keen for anyone to get their hands on her tits, not with Stiffy watching anyway, so it was up to Cock Radio to give the saggy ones to a worthy person. And who could be worthier than Ros, who after sliding down the final embankment had a symmetrical pair of brown cheeks, so here’s an almost symmetrical pair of tits as well.
Boo then decides we should do some breast comparisons, so he gets in the old saggy tits and 2 grandmas, namely Loose Change and Open Wider. Nor surprisingly Boo receives a prompt double clip across the ear.
The Tutu
appears and so all the lipstick boys come back in. Who to give it to? The only one who is a member of course, Khannot Can.
Shaggy Dick tells us how he got the urge to go to the staff toilet after work tonight, something to do with last nights curry, and after sitting there went to reach for the toilet paper, only to find the dispenser completely devoid of everything. While he somehow managed to overcome his dilemma (and we don’t want to know how), he then noticed one of the Hares had marked tonight’s trail with a Jumbo size roll of toilet paper, the same sort that is used at his work place. On in Cock Radio for taking the roll from the male staff toilets at ISS and leaving Shaggy up shit creek without a paddle, so to speak.
Kamikaze had his eyes set on Shaggy Dick 2, Tiger Lily and Mr. Potato Head, who all decided to miss the last turn into the bush and stayed on the footpath to go home on. Bagless was dragged in as a look alike, presumably for Mr. Potato Head!
As suspected, there was another reason for Kamikaze being here; yes he had some announcements to make for up coming runs in KL. There is the Ball Breaker, the Hash Challenge, and the Softer Hash. Contact Kamikaze or get on the internet for more info.
Slowcum comes in with a Dick in each hand. Wow! It is widely suspected that Tasmanians have 2 heads, but what people have 2 dicks!!! Dick number 1 goes to Goody Bags for talking on her HP out on the run, Dick number 2 goes to Cock Radio for getting Jack Off, after the run, to do one of his jobs as a Hare that he had failed to do. So where was our new On Sec for the beginning of the Circle? Over at the Greasy Spoon organizing the meal! But, but, but…. plead the 2 culprits with their feeble excuses. No buts in this Hash, drink and take your Dicks out of here!
Slowcum knows his history, and as this is the Anzac Day Run, he gets the British in for allowing the hapless Aussie and Kiwi soldiers to be used as target practice by the Turkish Army at Gallipoli Beach in 1915! After a stirring rendition of ‘Rule Britannia’ they have a drink and leave. But not before it is mentioned that if they want to control the oceans to ‘Rule the waves’ why don’t they support anti piracy laws???? During the week there was also a special British Day, on in Ros who was the only Brit to know it was St George’s Day.
Khannot Can then says good try Slowcum, but you don’t know the difference between British and English!
Stiffy has 5 girls in, plus Bagless, and says what do they all have in common? ‘They’re all flat chested’ shouts Boo who promptly gets a down down for that indiscretion. ‘No, they are all Blonde’ says Stiffy and every time there is a 90 degree turn on the run trail they all short cut across on him and he gets caught behind them.
Wet Patch has been adding up the stats and concludes that there are too many males being charged, and not enough Harriets. In comes Jack Off and Not Tonight. One complained of having a prick in her hand and the other a prick in the bush. Everyone knows that a prick in the bush is worth 2 in the hand. Wet Patch then sings them the ‘Nice Little willy’ song.
Stiff notices Cock Radio wearing the Dick on which he has put an empty plastic cup from a down down. 'Who does this look like?' asks Stiff. Yes, it's the Harriet’s version of the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz (or is that Wizard of Aussie?)
It was mentioned that a man with 2 Dicks was a rather odd occurrence, not the sort of thing that you normally see. Or is it for a normal sight for some girls? When Slowcum came in earlier, Hi Beam was nudged and told to ‘Have a look at that!’ So did she say, ‘Wow, a man with 2 Dicks?’ No!! She was more interested in what was in Slowcum’s plastic bag. Not Tonight reminds Stiffy that a few years ago he was also blonde so perhaps he shouldn’t be telling blonde jokes!
Shoe Shopper gets the Hares in for putting a circle check that had 2 tricky options. Could it be to the left down the boring looking road or could it be the little interesting trail into the bush with the well trodden down grass? Disgraceful Hares, you couldn’t even fool a blonde!
Khannot Can tells a story about the Hash Brew. This being her first run as Hash Brew, she turned up to the run site very excited. ‘Now where will we put our bags?’ she asks Khannot Can. ‘Well dear, we normally put them in the Beer Wagon,’ he replies. ‘Yes, I know, but it is not here,’ she laments. “Umm, darling, you did ring the Beer wagon boys to tell them where the run is tonight, didn’t you?’ ‘Ohhh no’ she exclaims and quickly gets out her hand phone!!!
A final charge on Boo for selecting the wrong song. On that wrong note, it was on on to the Greasy Spoon for the meal organized by Jack Off!
Scribed by Cock Radio