Circle Report - Run 1825
2nd July, Upper Seletar,
American Independence Day
Big Head, Virginia Slim
The Run
Looking at the 6 or 7 runners wearing Red National Day tops, one may have been left wondering if this was actually an American Run. Anyway, the pack set off into the jungle with strict instructions to follow flour only as the Monday boys had been in there and left some 75 rolls of paper along the trails. It wasn�t long before Tiger Lily had run straight through the first T check, taking Knobby Boy Scout and yours truly with her. She eventually turned and ran back and proceeded to check a trail that was rampant with paper. Not surprisingly, the on on call came from completely the opposite direction to the paper trail she was checking, thus proving that not only is Tiger Lily blind but is deaf also and does not listen to instructions. Some nice single file jungle running kept the pack together and it was Goody Bags leading the way until eventually a muddy little stream had to be crossed. This mud was particularly sticky and difficult to remove. 3 days later and 3 showers plus a couple of swims at Sentosa and I still have the bloody stuff embedded in my legs.
Eventually the trail came out onto the pipeline just down from the Rifle Range and not too far from home. Off we headed in that direction with thoughts of a cool drink only 15 minutes away. However the trail did a sudden U- turn and led the front runners up onto the pipeline. The middle of the pack were able to avert the u turn and climb directly onto the pipeline as they emerged from the jungle while the back of the pack still in the jungle were able to take an alternative trail out thus completely avoiding the pipeline! Those up on the pipeline were single file and rather cautious to avoid falling off into some rather ugly shiggy 5 metres below, so walking was the order of the day. �Keep running� was the call from the back, with Khan the Cobra particularly vocal in this request. When the front runners did break into a bit of a careful jog, what did Khan the Cobra do? She kept walking, saying she was too scared to run. A circle check had front runners checking into the jungle to no avail until trail was found way ahead going into the jungle and it was Quickie that led the way, taking no rubbish at all from those pushy males breathing down her neck.
The champagne stop was found and enjoyed, the ice being a nice touch. However, home was still some considerable distance away, so those wanting to get back before dawn headed off while certain others stayed to demolish the champers. Some nice little trails parallel to the SLE saw some of the males debating about lining up to indulge in the services of the Thai girls at the little commune deep in the jungle but I think most resisted and continued on. Eventually home was reached, about 1 hour 20 for the front runners with the final group back at 8.30! (Perhaps they stopped and visited the Thai Girls??) The Circle was formed very tidily as it was defined by a long piece of hose someone had carried back.
What did we think of the run? Too short, too dry, too long, not enough jungle, too much champagne (this was obvious judging by the giggling going on from certain Harriets!)
Verdict:
Good Run! Well done Americans.
Next week:
Pussy Lifter, Seletar Air Base, parking lot at the old golf course, Oxford Streeet. Note: do not use GPS to try and get there because you cant, you will need to rely on the old fashioned street directory.
Virgin:
Beth
Returnees:
Pussy Lifter, Sexy Bum
Visitors:
Roger Rabbit, Bugs Berley, Stiff, Little Stiff, Knobby Boy Scout, Sharon Batu, Shuttlecock
New Member:
Knobby Boy Scout
The Tits:
Handy Bag complained there was too much Jungle to actually see anything worthy happen on the run so he reverted to plan B. He calls in some Singaporean look a like Immigration Officers, Boo, Shuttlecock and Sharon Batu. Apparently Handy Bag, or someone he knows, went through Immigration on someone else�s passport, after having it checked by no less than 3 Officers. So do we really believe that Mas Selemat is still in the country????Boo takes the Tits.
The Dick:
Knobby Boy Scout has his hand on it and called in all those that came back by taxi (�or Mary Jane�s car� chips in Slowcum!)Well, there were too many in the Circle for me to note down, but they were mainly women. By the process of elimination, Open Wider received the Dick as she rubbed herself all over the new member.
The American�s were called in, as well as those that have a bit of American in them on a regular basis. Yankee Doodle Dandy, happy Independence Day. Open Wider suggests that Goody Bags is losing her memory as she forgot her name and called her Loose Change. Well, she is hitting 50!
Confucius also had Goody Bags in for the same memory problem as she called her Mother Mary. Just be careful paying subs to Goody Bags that she writes your name down and not someone else! Suzee Wong has Roger Rabbit in for calling her Betty. Perhaps we should all wear name cards next week.
Roger Rabbit then tells a Beijing story how 6 Hashers were detained by the police for 6 hours for sprinkling flour around the base of trees.
Open Wider tells us why Twin Towers was sitting under an umbrella at the Champagne stop, despite the fact it was not even raining. Seems she just had her hair done for a cool $400 and wasn�t allowed to get it wet. Perhaps she wasn�t taking any chances in case Virginia Slim sprayed a bit of champers around when opening the bottles.
Kamala gets Virginia Slim in and has him strip off his shirt, much to everyone�s horror. Apparently he told her that she would have to cross water that comes up to here, pointing at her tits, also much to everyone�s horror. For supplying this false information, Virginia Slim then had lipstick applied to his tits, but wait, not in the usual way. It was applied by Goody Bags lips, and to both nipples. And to V. Slims delight, more was applied all over his stomach. Not wanting to miss an opportunity, Slim then dropped his pants and stood there while he had lipstick kisses planted all over his body By Goody Bags and Kamala. Thank heavens the dick was bought in to cover up a certain vital organ. We all know what happened to Pinocchio when he told a lie, we didn�t want to take any chances with Slim.
Slowcum calls in the Hares for a bit of champers to celebrate the last year of George Bush. No more Bush, and what a good thing after seeing Virginia Slim semi naked in the Circle.
On On to the rotunda for ribs, chicken and mash. God Bless America!!
Scribed by Cock Radio. Yes, I�m back!