Circle Report - Run 1826
Run Number # 1826
Seletar Air Base
9/7/08
Pussy Lifter
The Run
It was a rather small pack assembled at 6pm in the bowels of Seletar, but it was all quality. Our fill in at the last moment Hare, Pussy Lifter, turned up on his bike and told us it was an environmentally sensitive run, set on half a roll of toilet paper.
�Mmm, this could be a little tricky� we thought.
�But to compliment this,� he told us, �I used flour as well.�
�Thank heavens� we all breathed.
�But, due to the global food shortage� he went on, �I have reduced the flour to just one 250 gram bag.
�Ohh my Buddha� we all sighed.
�But don�t worry, I have also used chalk.
�Thank heavens for German innovation� and we breathed another sigh of relief.
�But due to world wide inflation, I only purchased 1 stick of chalk.�
�Aye Ya!�
Jack Off led the pack off and it wasn�t long before 20 Hashers could be seen crawling along the road on hands and knees looking for the slightest sniff of trail. Where is Sherlock Holmes when you need him?
Well, trail was found and it was good! We managed to get 245 dogs to bark in 1 hour of running, which could be some sort of record. I thought I counted 246, but it was just Boo running past the house fences doing some sort of �Hounds of the Baskervilles� imitation. The Hare very cleverly planted a local stooge in the form of quite an attractive female resident who very convincingly told us that we needed to run �That way� when in fact trail was in the opposite direction. Sneaky German hare!
Then to slow things down further, the Hare planted a nest of savage red ants along a drain path that almost devoured Tiger Lily. More traps were laid for unsuspecting runners, especially in the form of disguised drains and holes, as well as detours into some uninhabitated properties (or did they belong to some of the Hares girl friends??)
One further trap was provided when it was left to Not Tonight to lead the pack. Thankfully, Tiger Lily eventually caught up, after her taxi driver took her to Changii Airport instead of Seletar Air base. As Tiger was carrying 6 bottles of shower water in her bag, it would have been interesting watching her try to drink them all at the departure lounge security check at Changii! Despite all the little tricks tried by the Hare, all made it back to the comfort of the Beer Wagon in around the 1 hour mark.
What did we think of the run?
Not enough dogs, woof woof, too much sour kraut, good walk, too much paper, more ants.
Verdict;
Good run!! Well done Pussy Lifter, good use of the area with roads and off road trails well utilized.
Tell us about your on on;
200 metres down the road at Pussy Lifter�s home, Indian food, and if you don�t like it there is plenty of German food (and beer??0) in the fridge.
Next week; Kan the Cobra, Kannot Kan. 2 possibilities � Jurong Heavy Vehicle car Park or Bukit Batok Nature park car park. Check the web site or wait for Jack Off�s mail out. The Hares made some lame excuse about they are under pressure because they are setting 4 or 5 runs for the week. Weak as p#%*ss I reckon!
The Tits-
Boo comes in for a round of �he�s a little flat chested,� then asks Kan the Cobra how long she has been hashing? �About 2 years� is the reply. Then he asks Twin Towers the same question and receives the same answer, about 2 years. He then asks new girl Beth the same question but she replies �2 weeks.� This is all sounding like lawyer talk now, so just where is Boo taking us? Then in commanding style, he turns to the jury, I mean Circle, and with arms wide open in Perry Mason style, accuses Kan the Cobra and Twin Towers of Hash Bullying on our new member Beth! Apparently the pair of them (and I am referring to Khan The Cobra and twin Towers, not just Twin Tower�s pair) were short cutting down a hill when they came across Beth and directed her up the hill, telling her she must follow trail. � I rest my case� says Boo and retires while the jury makes their decision. �They ought to be publicly p*#@ssed on, �� is sung and they are guilty as charged your Honour. Boo wins another case.
The Dick;
Open Wider charges Twin Towers for not getting out of the car last week when a few spots of rain were falling because she did not want to spoil her $400.25 hair style she had just had done . here, put the Dick on it, that will keep the rain off.
Visitors;
Dog meat, Sanka, Sex Change, Sexy Bum,
Returnee;
Cheap Hand Job
New Member;
Beth
Lipstick;
Not To Night selects Boo, Knobby Boy Scout, Dogmeat, Shaggy Dick2 � but there is no lipstick and no Tutu. So what is their punishment? They must kiss each other! SD2 quickly makes a rush for Jack Off, gives her a kiss and turns to the other 3 guys and says� Well, I�m right, you guys are on your own!�
Jack Off gives a reminder that our subs cover the run and liquid refreshments, very good value. So why do we have a member bringing her own stash of wine? In you come Tiger Lily, explain yourself.
AOB;
- Cock Radio was very happy to have a dry run with no shiggy or streams that mean taking home wet and soggy shoes. As he is changing after the run, Knobby Boy Scout comes over and transfers water from a large shower container into a smaller one, spilling half of it in the process. And when he spilt it, where did these several litres of water end up? Yes, you guessed it, all over my dry shoes! �He�s the meanest, �.�
- Tiger Lily also charges Knobby Boy Scout for wearing a Sumo Wrestler style G-string. Then he forgot his towel and turned to Tiger Lily and said �Can I borrow yours please?� �Knobby Knobby show us your leg�.�
- Shoe Shopper welcomes Shaggy Dick 2 back from his holiday in Java, where he was doing all sorts of macho things like riding around on motor bikes, surfing the Indian Ocean swells, fighting off terrorists etc etc. he rang Shopper up asking if she could pick him up to go to the run tonight as he had an old hash rope he wanted to give her (he is cleaning up due to house moving) and he was a bit worried it was a bit heavy to go lugging around. So Shoe Shopper shows us the Hash Rope in question, which she is holding effortlessly in one hand. �looks more like a piece of string you pathetic little man� she berates him. Give pathetic a note!
- Slowcum is worried about how the Germans achieve anything. First he gets a call from Pussy Lifter on what sort of Indian food he should order for an Indian on on. Then the next call � �What will I do about beer for the on on?� Then a 3rd call ��how do the Harriet�s mark their trails?� Give the German a note.
- Open Wider, having spent 15 minutes staring at Knobby Boy Scout showering, suggests that he is no �boy� and should be renamed Knob Out Scout!
- Kannot Kan was very impressed with the satirical elegance at tonight�s run. First their was Stiffy in his one red sock and one green sock, then Pussy Lifter in his worn out shoes and shorts that had been ripped in his bike chain, and finally Cock Radio in his see through shorts.
- Kannot Kan, never one to give up the stage easily, calls in Knobby Boy Scout and Tiger Lily. When KBS took off his shorts to shower, Tiger was heard to exclaim �What is that?�
- Hand Bag headed off to Harry�s with a few of the girls last week after the run. Must have been a good night as one of the girls left their bag there but fortunately it was rescued by Hand bag. In you come Twin Towers.
- Not Tonight was at work trying to concentrate on her job but kept receiving strange text messages. She couldn�t work out who �f Shit� was and why someone would want there address. So what were you on about Twin Towers? I meant Fag Sucker she says.
- Suzee Wong recalls Knobby Boy Scout and Dog meat setting a run at Bishan and they threw in about 7 inches of rain and had to do some sort of live hair cop out run. So knobby is setting a run next week but no Dog meat. Dog meat is in town, so what has happened to this partnership? A falling out???
- Slowcum asks why Open Wider spent so much time staring at Knobby Boy Scout wearing his Sumo wrestler G string. � Because you can�t f#@*ing miss it� she replies! Looks like Cheap Hand Job could be lucky tonight, better come in for a drink lad!
- Tiger Lily wants to know why she has been left setting a run with Knobby Boy Scout next week and not Dog Meat. Come in and explain yourself Dog Meat.
- Jack Off noticed Shoe Shopper was back from her holiday but was walking at the back of the pack. �What�s up� she enquired? I hurt my back says Shoe Shopper. Holidays and sore back hey, let�s put 1 and 1 together to work that one out.
- Suzee Wong asks the fill in GM where her f#*ck me shoes are???
- Stiffy mentions that Hand bag came in near the front of the pack and was noticed by Tiger Lily who said�Oh, so you are a front runner tonight. When Stiffy came in she was also surprised-�What are you doing back so early?� Are these guys speeding up or is Tiger Lily slowing down?? Give Party girl a note!
- Tiger Lily noticed Cock Radio shivering while he was showering and asked him if he would like some of her warm water. Did he thank her for it? No, he simply let out a loud burp. Well, apparently warm water does that to some people!!
- Kannot Kan noticed Boo at one stage standing by a tree in a private garden eying off some fruit. �Ah, lychees� he says with delight. No, bad luck Boo, they were only Mata Kuching.
Scribed by Cock Radio