Lone Ranger Run
30th July
Sembawang Park
Cock Radio
The Run
Off through the park went the pack and down to the beach. A nice breeze blowing off the water was accompanied by some fine maritime views. The local fishermen were most amused to see a motley group running along the coast. Eventually a rather large canal was reached. �Far canal� was heard from Stiffy. Would we have to swim it? No! Into the tracks for some shady running before coming out onto Sembawang Road. A detour through the turf growing land saw the pack back onto the canal and another groan of �Far canal!� A great T check that had Tiger Lily almost into Yishun but allowed the rest of the pack to turn back out onto Sembawang Rd. A quick gallop around the black and white houses with fine views of the Shipyards had the pack back a tad early but his was purposely done by the Hare so that they could watch a brilliant sunset.
Verdict:
I�m sure I heard �Run of the Year� mentioned but I could be wrong. Anyway, despite being just a little short, everyone agreed it was a good run. Well done Hare!
On On;
Beaulie House down by the water. Finger food, pasta, seafood, steak etc etc by the water.
Circle Report;
The GM is reintroduced to everyone and welcomed back.
Next week:
National Day Run, Lorong Lauda Hitam. Wear Red and White and know the words to the Singaporean National Anthem, provided for you in this newsletter.
Visitors;
Wet Patch and Phoney Dick. Why are you here Phoney? �My wife comes back tomorrow so this is my last moment of freedom!�
Knotty Bush and Loose Change are charged for talking.
Lipstick;
Sneaky Cummer, Father Anus Virginia Slim and Wet Patch are brought in for the Sybil and Goody Bags treatment. It was then decided that all the men should get the lipstick treatment tonight and the 2 girls were kept busy puckering up their lips onto various body parts and leaving their mark.
The Dick;
Tonight we are dickless, Twin towers, bring back the Dick.
The Tits;
Tiger lily is Tit less.
The GM then presents Kannot Can and Kan the Cobra a nice apron each, both most appropriate. Kannot Can did his best to cover himself up but Sybil was having none of that.
AOB;
Goody Bags wanted a camera for her birthday, but not just any camera. She insisted on one with a long/short appendage that goes in and out. This is commonly known as a zoom lens Goody Bags. But then she couldn�t work out why the background was still dark even when she used the flash. This is possibly something to do with the sun Goody Bags. When it disappears below the horizon, everything becomes dark. The flash on your camera that is powered by 2 AA batteries is not really going to do the same job as the sun, but you are welcome to return it to the shop and complain if you wish. Good luck.
Cock Radio was a Hare at short notice for tonight as Comes Quietly had to pull out. But hang on, didn�t we see Comes Quietly out on the run? Hang on, who is this standing behind me? Why it�s Comes Quietly! And what was he doing while I was out in the hot sun for 3 hours setting the run this afternoon? He was sitting by the swimming pool. In you come, have a drink..
Zipp notices that Comes Quietly is in different pants tonight, was he trying to disguise himself?
Loose Change is all for karma and what goes around comes around, or is that the other way around? Hand Bag, who did a bit of damage to a female work colleague last week by dragging her along the road with her bag stuck in the boot of his car, leaving her with a fair bit of gravel rash all over, got his deserved treatment tonight. Yes, he ended up with nipple rash from his shirt.
Everyone takes a seat as Sybil comes in but she promises us something short and sweet. It�s a compliment for Father Anus for looking after her virgin grand daughter on the run and getting her back safely, providing her with warm shower water, scrubbing her back for her, giving her �..etc etc. What a nice guy.
Dances With Kerbs has a charge for a not so nice man. Virginia Slim was actually asked by Sybil to look after the grand daughter. But he obviously didn�t! You not so nice guy.
Cock Radio however sheds some light on this matter. When he was sweeping ..�Bullshit, bullshit, it all sounds like ��.� Anyway, I came across Father Anus�. �Really, you came on Father Anus?� chips in Shoe Shopper. Anyway, I was giving Father Anus directions on a short cut when he said� Don�t need lah, I go see if the new girl is alright� and off he ran to her. I�m sure I saw him push Virginia Slim aside into a drain and take off with the grand daughter. And took the long route too.
Goody Bags received a nice thank you sms message at 4am the other morning. So Kannot Can and Kan the Cobra, what were you doing sending messages at that time huh?
Zipp mentions that the tit less Tiger Lily won her division of the 10 km run the other day. She actually turned it into an 11.5km run after taking several wrong turns.
Come Quietly has the New Zealanders in, all 1 of them, for a non rugby related charge. It seems that the Kiwis have been going a bit far in naming their babies. Comes Quietly wasn�t sure if this charge was celebrating the Kiwis sense of Humour or their stupidity. But here are some of the names that a judge has deemed as constituting child abuse and setting themselves up with unnecessary social disabilities and handicaps.
Talula does the Hula from Hawaii
Keenan got Lucky (I suspect Keenan was the father??)
No. 16 Bus Shelter
And the twins: Benson and Hedges, Fish and Chips.
Surely just being from NZ is handicapped enough without doing this to your kids!
Kannot can was following trail and looked up to see Goody Bags following 3 Indian men into the forest. Why? Looking for durians of course.
While Tiger Lily only missed one check tonight, Knotty bush did a blinder when she took a short cut back along Sembawang Road and headed towards Car Park 1, straight past the Beer truck which was in full view in Car Park 2.
Stiffy is all for sharing things at the Hash and helping each other. So why didn�t we all get to have a shower over at Double Back and Blood Shit�s house, they were gone for 40 minutes too!
Suzee Wong thanked Confucius for the dinner last week.
Loose Change noticed Boo in his car using the mirror to trim a bit of nasal hair. Gypsy nose he is the hair next week.
Dances With Kerbs noted that Kannot Can put on a big surprise bash for Kan the Cobra�s birthday. Beer and red wine supplied but bring your own white if you want it! Why prejudiced against white??
Wet and Wild questions the �surprise� element of the party. Apparently Kan the Cobra received a call from the beer truck asking for the address, then she was asked what she was going to make for her own �pot luck.�
Tiger Lily turned up to the party punctually at 4pm, as per invitation. Mmm, I seem to be the only one here so far thinks Tiger Lily. But Kannot Can has a use for her. First he gets her to help him move the furniture, then he set her to work in the kitchen. Actually, as Zipp points out, we all got a message not to turn up until 5pm because Tiger Lily will be busy doing jobs before that. Dial a maid!
Kamala removes one of Kannot Can�s �David� apron�s grey pubic hares, with her mouth!
On On On to Beaulie House down by the water, where a very pleasant evening wining and dining by the water, was had by all. I know I will be heading back there one evening for a meal.
