Circle Report - Run 1835
Run # 1835
Kannot Kan
10/9/08
As Boo said, it wouldn�t be the Hash without some sort of a cock up! So before the run tonight, the worry and confusion was where to park the cars. Not having a car myself, this was not really an issue for me until I realized it could impact on the Beer Van. Choice 1 was to park illegally on the double yellow lines or choice 2 park inside the security bar and possibly be locked in at 7? Choice 1 was decided on and off we headed at 6.05. What time DOES a 6 �o Clock Run start? A T check out on Bukit Batok Rd was rather predictable but we fell for it anyway, and despite the fact that the FRBs had already done it and come back did not deter Stiffy from doing it several minutes later, proudly boasting that he was on trail and that the FRBs should follow him. See you later Stiffy. It was on back and into the bush, up the hill to a Circle Check in the middle of nowhere. Virginia Slim, who knows this area like the back of his hand, checks forward, taking a few other runners with him who also were thinking the same. Despite not finding trail immediately, they forged along the fence line to the top of the hill and sure enough, there was the trail! But where was the rest of the pack? Well, they had picked up the trail going back the other direction to the far side of the fence line. Oh dear, this could be trouble for this little group of unpredictable�s, which consisted of Slim, Father Anus, Boo, myself and Little Stiff. Attempting to run the trail in reverse and meet the rest of the Pack only got them into more trouble and they were virtually caught with their pants down eventually when the pack found them perched on top of a mountain. United at last, off we set down into the usual gully to look for trail. Wrong again, no trail there, so back up the mountain and On On was the call. Bloody T check. The Hare, who had half the pack with him still at the bottom of the mountain, has a good old chuckle and they continue on their merry way. Back down the rocky mountain, the Earth literally moved for me when I found the rocks under my feet give way, resulting in a spectacular fall, even by my high standards. Luckily I landed on my head and not too much damage was done. Plenty of grunting, groaning, oohing and ahhing were heard from various runners, amongst them Big Head, Stiff, Stiffy and Knickerless! Through some more single file tracks at walking place to finally emerge into a clearing for the final dash to Home. While there was not a lot of opportunity to run tonight, it was good use of the area with a few twists from the normal. Well done Hare.
What did we think of this run? Despite the lack of running, this run was given the thumbs up. Good Run! And not one car booked! The Hare then says he wants to tell a little story, which we know is impossibility for Kan Not Can, but he proceeds to tell us anyway. In the jungles of Johor, one may encounter some wild life crashing through the bush to scare the crap out of you, but here in Singapore? With his own eyes, Kan Not Can earlier on saw a 150kg wild bore �glumphing� through the bush just behind us. Has he been drinking or smoking funny cigarettes, or is he just telling us a big porky?
Visitors and Virgins: Sharon, Legaless, Half Cut, Sharon Batu, Cheap Hand Job, Phoney Dick, Suzanne, Tania, The Stiff family � Big Stiff, Little Stiff, Madam Stiff and Ms Stiff.
Next Week;
The GM says she will set a run somewhere, preferably in Singapore we hope. Seems she is a bit worried about the Aussies thumping the All Blacks on the weekend and can�t think straight.
Lip Stick.:
No doubt about this one tonight, on in Father Anus, Little Stiff and yours truly. I don�t know how Virginia Slim got out of it because he was the one we followed! Lipstick was applied by Goody Bags and very nice it was.
Leaving on a jet plane:
Open Wider and Cheap Hand Job are going back to the UK. Is this really true? Is it for good? No, surely not. Anyway, Open Wider receives a going away memorial T shirt which she changes into rather discreetly. Loose Change then presents Open Wider with an umbrella to take with her as the UK can be rather damp in September. An umbrella to Open Wider, but will there be anything else getting opened wider on those cold winter nights???
AOB:
- Knickerless comes in wearing a tasty little denim mini and complaining about 3 little naughty boys on the run. As she bends over to put her beer down, there are suddenly 5 or 6 naughty boys standing awe struck on the other side of the Circle, and maybe there were a gasps from a couple of the girls too if I�m not mistaken!
- Naughty Boy number 1 told her to stop moaning and keep running when she felt a prick in her foot. Stiffy, in you come.
- Naughty Boy number 2 was the one responsible for this prick getting into her foot in the first place, namely the Hare. In you come Kan Not Can. As it turned out, the prick she felt in her foot turned out to be a 9 inch rusty prick. That certainly is a hell of a prick.
- Naughty Boy number 3 was running right behind her on a narrow, dangerous, slippery, rock infested path and putting the pressure on her to go faster. Finally his male ego caused his size 53 runners to stand on her foot, forcing her to crash into a tree and cut her leg, resulting in the loss of several litres of blood. In you come Stiff, and that completes the trifecta of Naughty Boys.
- Knight in Shining Armour number one extracted the 9inch prick that had penetrated her. Well done Sir Father Anus.
- Knight in Shining Armour number 2 kissed the fair damsel that was in distress better. Excellent work Sir Stiffy, but we don�t understand how sticking your tongue down her throat and giving a chest massage was going to help her foot.
- Octopussy recalls an old story regarding Cheap Hand Job after a run at the end of Rifle Range Rd. When he got home and into the bed, he started complaining to Open Wider that there was something moving in his foot. �Don�t be ridiculous, you had too much to drink again, just go to sleep.� 4 doctors and specialists later, it was found that he had a worm in his foot from the monkey poo!
- Slim recalls another old story of a run that was set at this site which resulted in the Hare searching through every petrol station dumper between Jurong and the City for her keys which she had accidently thrown out with some rubbish on the way to set the run. Well done Mother Mary, bin scab!
- Another time, Slim was to be a Hare, did the reccy but could not set the run so he called in 2 reliable, competent, experienced and able bodied Harriets to set the run for him. So there he was in Korea when his phone rings. �Help, we are lost!� says the helpless fill in Hares. �Where are you?� asks Slim. �Near a well� they reply. �Which one?� enquires Slim? �A round one,� says the knowledgeable Fill in Hares. On in Loose Change and Octopussy, the 2 well experts.
- Jack Off mentions that Goody Bags is responsible for all the lovely lanterns adorning the Circle tonight as moon cake festival is celebrated.
- Zipp informs us that Emily, Ms Stiff, is going back to Uni in the UK to do a Major in Lingerie. I wonder if there are vacant places in that course. Anyway, does she want to start here right now by checking everyone�s underwear to see if it is the correct fit?
- On September the 20th there is a charity run, the money going towards providing a fun run day on Nov 8th for children with parents in jail, under going rehab etc. Perhaps they may even get a Goody Bag???!!! See Zipp for details
- Stiff has the Hare in for his gloating about fooling the FRB�s!
- Jack Off has a further go at the Hare. It seems that Kan Not Can asked her about a suitable run site, and Jack Off suggested that across the road in the Car Park with the Greasy Spoon would be good. Does he listen to her? No! So here we are with rats running over our feet, cars parked on double lines and the security gate locked! Give the not so wise one a note.
- Not Tonight suggests that Ms Stiff might design a special running top for Father Anus that holds his Hand Phone! Also could she design some suitable Harriet bras???
- Dances with Kerbs lantern caught on fire, what do do lah? Don�t worry, Twin Towers to the rescue and puts the fire out with her glass of wine. Alcohol abuse!
- I was listening to the Radio this afternoon and they said to get on down to Bugis this afternoon as they were giving away Goody Bags. This girl just does not give up!
- Big Head had her first tonight! There she was in the bush when a male decided to use her bum as a pillow! In comes Butt Head Stiff! I wonder if he fluffed it up?
- Slowcum tells how he was in an enviable position tonight. He had Jack off behind him and Goody Bags in front. Going up a slippery hill, Goody Bags was losing traction and was in need of a helping butt push from behind. But dare he risk it with his wife right behind? Jack Off sensed his dilemma and generously told him �Yes you can, go ahead!� What a sport. However, Slowcum, I don�t think she gave you permission to pat Goody Bag�s bum for the remainder of the run and while she was showering!
On On On!
Scribed by Cock Radio