Circle Report - Run 1836
Wednesday 17th September
Vigilante Car Park B
Hares: Wet n Wild and Sneaky Comer
Run Report:
We headed off optimistically on the path towards Pepys Road, to find a T-check strategically hidden at the top of the stairs. In classic Harriet�s fashion we then stood around discussing the whether and hoping the hare would reveal the on. Sadly he was on the phone to the restaurant, so eventually we gave up an went looking, finally finding the on down the stairs at the edge of the carpark (some of us even pausing to make funny comments about �great run, 10 minutes back to the start�, to the hare). The trail then when down through the bike trail along South Buona Vista Road before looping back to car park A and then back down the hill to loop around Normanton Park. At this point, walkers were given an option back to home via Science Park, while runners were directed over the AYE, down to the railway line, and back home via Alexandra Road and Hortpark. Front runner Tiger Lilly in in 55 minutes, closely followed by the rest of the pack 15 minutes later. One sure thing about Vigilante Drive � you are going to have to run up the hill at the end of the run J.
Circle Report
The GM called a rowdy group into the circle at 7:50, to calls of �too early� from Boo.
Hares in the Circle:
Sneaky Comer and Wet n Wild; and the GM asks �what did you think of the run?�. Overwhelmed by cries of �excellent run�, �run of the century�, etc etc, I got a bit confused, but I think all up it was �good run�.
Next Week�s Hares:
Father Anus enters the circle to announce next week is at the end of Yishun Avenue 1, near the dam.
Tits:
Oh wait, Wet and Ready is NOT ready so let�s move onto something else.
Dick:
Not here, let�s move on to something else.
Visitors:
Oh wait, the Assistant Hash Cash is still carrying her clip board around accosting visitors, so let�s move on to something else.
Oh well, is there �any other business?�, the GM asks.
Sneaky Comer says �yes, I have business�. GM in the circle please for complete disorganization. Normally we have visitors, returnees, lipstick, dick, and tits. This week it seems no-one is ready and it is all arse about. Give Wet N Wild a note.
With normal business still not ready, Sneaky Comer asks to see Phoney Dick. Phoney Dick has been conducting an interview with Cock Radio for his Pullitzer Prize winning serialization, �On the Couch with Cock Radio� for the Friday newsletter. Most people treat it as a bit of a laugh, but Phoney Dick brought a book full of notes and seemed to treat Cock Radio with the same gravitas as one would Michael Parkinson. Give the over-prepared a note!
Stiffy brought himself in for not charging Cath this week. I got a bit lost by this one but someone got a drink. Sorry, not paying attention.
This charge prompted Wet and Ready into action, as she entered the circle not wearing the tits but nevertheless willing to give them to Cath. Apparently Cath doesn�t like being the centre of attention so what better than to have the Tits. Give the attention seeker a note.
Not Tonight spotted a naming opportunity in �C for Cathy, C for C-Cup�, but sadly the circle was unenthusiastic so the opportunity passed. Next time.
Wanting to keep the circle on its collective toes, the GM now called Visitors into the circle: welcome Cath, Wet Patch, Phoney Dick, and no doubt some others. Returnees were asked to join them for a mass drink: welcome back Fat Crashing Bastard, Too Easy, and Caroline.
Back to Any Other Business (again):
Wet Pet wants a naughty boy peeping tom into the circle for taking photos while the girls are changing. What do you do with all those photos, Kannot Kan?
Just to completely confuse everyone, the GM now calls for lipstick. Nominated for a daubing of toxic lipstick are Sneaky Comer (a hare, but never mind apparently he was in front the whole time while setting trail [editorial note: well he was the only one who knew where the trail was going J]), Wet Patch, Fat Crashing Bastard, Comes Quietly, and Mr Potato Head.
[Editorial note: calling all men to donate to Goody Bag EITHER some lipstick that comes off with something weaker than paint stripper, or a can of paint stripper].
Back to Any Other Business (again):
Jackoff wants Octopussy to make amends for lack of discretion. Yes, Octopussy, it is good hash etiquette to yell �on on� so those following you know where the trail goes. It is perhaps less ideal to call �on on Jackoff� in the middle of a crowd of locals. Give the indiscreet one a note.
Jackoff has a story about Stiffy and Turbo, who apparently emerged together from the bush and claimed they had been �short cutting�. With Turbo having left, Tiger Lilly was called in as a look-a-like. Give the sheepish a note.
Stiffy has Octopussy in to apologize for disclosing her secret during conversation before the circle; which he proceeds to disclose to the rest of the circle. But this is all purely academic apparently, the real charge is that Octopussy had asked Stiffy which is bigger, a D or a double-D? Her eyesight must be going, give her a note.
Naughty Bush was stretching alongside Goody Bag at the end of the run. She was a bit stiff so every time she stretched she exclaimed �Oi� as in �oi-vey�. On each occasion, Goody Bag would respond �yes?� Give the self-centred one a note.
Fat Crashing Bastard has been struggling with the business of living in God�s own country (also known as Australia). He couldn�t really figure out why until a newspaper proclaimed that �Australia was uninhabited by humans�. Australians in Wet and Ready, Lethal Weapon, Comes Quietly, Cath, and Sneaky Comer get a drink.
Slocum calls FCB and Too Easy into the circle. As already remarked, they are not enjoying Australia too much, Melbourne is apparently a �cold hole�. Hard to disagree with that, but anyway Slocum is a bit suspicious they have moved in with him for good, given the amount of luggage they arrived with. Give the refugees a note. FCB gets an additional drink, I think, for exaggerating about Melbourne temperatures being 250 degrees below zero.
Wet N Wild is looking for any excuse to crow about an unlikely victory by the lowly All Blacks against the mighty Wallabies, so has Sneaky Comer in for winging about he quality of refereeing during the game.
This prompts Sneaky Comer to ask for a South African to enter the circle. Unfortunately, our last South African, Pussy Galore, has gone back home so a look-a-like is called in to pay atonement for blatant bias by the referee during the aforementioned Rugby game. Americans are invited to visit http://www.irb.com to get a cultural education.
Octopussy wants FCB and Too Easy in again. She knows the real reason they have come to Singapore: Stiffy is on his way to Melbourne and wanted to sleep on their couch. Give the escapees a note.
Wet Patch has a complaint about the Assistant Hash Cash and calls Goody Bag to account. Despite having met on regular occasions (�7 times last night, chimes in Zipp�), Goody Bag still asks Wet Patch his name every time he comes to the hash.
Sneaky Comer wonders if Wet Patch is making a big enough impression. So he calls in Goody Bag for a bit of a test, and asks her to identify regulars Comes Quietly, Slocum, and Boo. Sadly the test backfires with Goody Bag able to identify only 2 out of 3, but Wet Patch gets a drink anyway.
Slocum charges Sneaky Comer with not being able to identify the �blonde gene� in Goody Bag, he should have had enough practice by now with the GM.
Announcements:
Wet N Wild announced the 35th anniversary run and dinner will be held on the 29th November at the Changi Sailing Club.
Zipp came in to announce that the Kampong 2008 Charity run would be on the 20th September at Yoh�s Building, Telok Blangah St 31. But first she told us that she had given bad directions to Father Anus the week before, who had been frantically texting last week to find out where the run was. Zipp, Jackoff, and Father Anus all took a drink.
Back to any other business, Kamala had a complicated charge involving the placement on the run of Goody Bag, Naughty Bush, Kamala, Zipp, and Dances with Kerbs. I lost the gist a bit during the re-enactment but anyway Father Anus got a charge for ignoring questions about �are you on� while strategically placed behind Goody Bag, I think.
Wet N Wild has noticed that FCB is missing his toxic lipstick. Not hard to miss because the rest of us still looked like circus clowns. By the way, FCB, can you give us a hint about how you got it off mate? Mine is still hanging on like grim death. He gets a drink and is reminded by reapplication that it is supposed to stay on until next year.
Wet N Wild finishes up the circle by giving a happy birthday down down to Wet and Ready. The traditional birthday song is sung and then its on on on, to Buona Vista Kitchen.
On On On!
Sneaky Cummer