Circle Report - Run 1845
Run # 1845
Royal Right Tit & Shaggy Dick II Run
Blackmore Drive
Run Report:
The Light and Sound Show Run
Quack quack quack quack went Mother Duck, over the hill and far away. Yes, it was a fine night for ducks, even Noah was seen searching for his builders tools. The optimistic runners gathered around under umbrellas, but they were only delaying the inevitable. Shoe Shopper locked her car up and ran for shelter under the beer umbrella. Malfunktion ran over to her car, gave it a bit of a bump to set the alarm off, then ran back to his umbrella and we all watched as Shopper had to brave the rain to turn off her alarm! Anyway, 2 very wet Hares told us that the trail WAS on paper and flour and good luck. Down Blackmore we went to Bukit Timah, then back up past the railway station to the canal, which resembled the Mekong River. Legaless was determined to go into the jungle, so determined in fact that she jumped over a T check. Oh, let her go. Trail was found back along the other side of the Mekong, unfortunately myself and Shoe Shopper were on the opposite. Only one thing to do, and in true Aussie spirit we jumped in and swam. Can you get lipstick for swimming in front of a woman? Onto Clementi Rd and over, keeping the Poly Tech students amused as they waited for their bus. As if we weren�t wet enough, the Hares had us go down a drain and wade though more water. Once the FRB�s had made sure enough of the pack had done their little wade, they called T Check and we all waded back out to Clementi Rd again. A little Circle Check at a rotunda puzzled us, until one of the Hares suggested that if he was checking, he would check down past the tractor. So we did, and found trail. Thanks Shaggy. Through the Hdb�s towards Sunset, then along an ankle breaking canal until we reached the old railway line. As we approached the Clementi Tunnel, the trail became a tad muddy and wettish. This had Goody Bags slipping and sliding uncontrollably. Finally, the open jaws of the fearsome Tunnel beckoned us. Into the bowels we trod. Now this tunnel is fearsome enough on the best of days, but after a downpour like tonight it was real doom and gloom in there. The Hares decided at this stage, as it was getting rather dark, that they did want to take responsibility for losing 30 runners in the jungle, so after exiting the tunnel it was up onto Clementi Rd, back to the Mekong River, where Noah was seen with the plans for an Arc in his hands, followed by home. Well done Hares, a good run under rather tricky circumstances, and thanks for running with us so we wouldn�t lose trail. Also thank you for the spectacular light show in the sky!
So what did we think of the run?
Too dry, too many ducks, not enough mud. But yes, it was a good run, well done lads!
Tell us about your On On?
Red Lantern, it�s a warm up for Friday night! $10, 2 tables, that�s 1 table for each Hare and they will see if they can munch their way through $100 of Chinese food.
�Beep beep� sounds a car horn and Phoney Dick decides it may be a wise move to get away from the middle of the road.
Next week:
Twin Towers Birthday Run. Where? How would she know?
Visitors;
King Lear, Astronut, Phoney Dick, Fawlty Towers, Malfunktion. Give the old farts a note. Woops, sorry Basil!
The Tits:
Before the run, I was given the Tits by Mr. Potato Head who was not running tonight. Why not? I had my gall bladder removed. Ok, sounds like a fair enough reason to me! So to the tits. Did one of the Hares suffer a sore eye during the run? Was he seen rubbing and wiping his eyes? Why? Well before he left work to set the run, he was seen applying copious amounts of sunscreen all over his face. No doubt the 3 inches of rain we had caused the sunscreen to wash off into his eyes. In you, come Royal Right Tit, didn�t you use waterproof block out? Not much chance of getting sun burnt tonight, but better to play safe huh. And don�t forget to apply sunscreen to the Tits if you take them to the beach at Sentosa.
The Dick;
Goody Bags saw a naked Harriet bent over having a Kampong style wash after the run, just like in the good old days. But while Kan the Cobra was having her kampong wash, Kan Not Can came up behind her and started rubbing his shoe on her backside. He really is the meanest! Take the Dick.
Goody Bags also had a go at the GM, who she claimed hadn�t paid her membership. However, this charge quickly bites Goody Bags on the bum, as the GM points out that if Goody Bags had been at last nights Committee meeting instead of getting pissed at Harry�s, she would have heard that she pays her subs electronically. Nice try Goody Bags!
Lipstick boys:
Fawlty Towers, despite the fact he arrived late and did his own run, Shaggy Dick, despite the fact he was a Hare, and Phoney Dick despite the fact he did his own walk. All deserved winners. Ohh, don�t those faces look poxy.
50 runs shirt to Lost Marbles. Yeah, well done!
AOB
- Stiffy has another singlet top that he wants to award. Mmm, it looks rather small, I wonder who it�s for? All right, yes! It�s for Goody Bags. Off off off, and she does. Stiffy, your eyes are popping out. And maybe that�s not all that was popping out?
- Shaggy Dick 2 went to a PE conference last week at the Singapore American School, which as we know is a rather large school. Shoe Shopper decided to wear her new Scorpio Run shirt from last weeks Friday run. But what is the first name you read on the shirt? C**nt Dracula! Oh my. Quickly take off your name tag that shows what school you are from. Shopper spent the rest of the day with her hand over her chest. Only thing was the Hares names were printed on the back as well. Oh double my my!
- The GM asks King Lear how long it is since he has been to a Harriet�s run. Mmm, it�s been a while he replies. Well, you seem to have forgotten a few protocols. It is not appropriate to have a Harriet, namely Octopussy, hold an umbrella for you while you change. Give the man a drink! Is it ok for a Harriet to hang onto something other than an umbrella when a man is changing???
- Not Tonight has another umbrella (hey, hey, Ella, Ella, under my umbrella) protocol query. She thinks Boo is quite within his rights to have Quickie hold an umbrella for him to protect his delicate locks from the rain. However, are Croc Hunter and Basket Case being paid extra to cover Boo at the beginning of the run with their giant umbrella?
- Kan Not Can also has an Ella Umbrella charge. It seems that the GM was seen at the start of the run heading down Blackmore with a bright yellow umbrella. But hang on, who were the other 2 running along under it with her. In you come Kan the Cobra and Not Tonight. Give the pussy girls a note.
- I had the pleasure of running behind Goody Bags (which is a pleasure in itself) as she encountered some very muddy and deep water filled holes along the old railway track. Arms and legs were going everywhere as she tried to keep her footing in the treacherous conditions. After she had fallen in up to her waist for the 3rd time, I mentioned that she must have muddy water everywhere, with no crease or orifice escaping. Sneaky Comer then comes in to finish the charge (this was a bit of a tag team effort on Goody Bags by the 2 Aussies). He was 20 metres behind us and finally caught up to a rather saggy water logged Goody Bags. Immediately she asked him �Do you have a water bottle?� Given the prevailing weather conditions, Sneaky thought he would enquire why she would need a drink. �Because I need to wash out my orifices,� she said snatching the water bottle from him and shoving it down her shorts! Sneaky Comer is now going to auction the bottle off as a piece of running memorabilia. How did the auction go mate, get any sniffs?
- Wet and Ready thanks the Hares for being Gentlemen but is immediately drowned out by a sterling rendition of �Bullshit, bullshit, it all sounds like�.. .� before she can tell us why. It seems that she was grateful for them staying and looking after her and the back of the pack.
- I noticed that there was one particular female who was in state of panic, fear and horror for the entire run. This particular runner has had problems on little puddles that she has encountered on our recent dry runs, with the boys even having to carry her once over one little pool when she was the lead female. So how did Singaporn go tonight? �That was the worst run I have done,� she stammered with her face as white as a ghost and still trembling with fear. Give the water babe a note!
- The GM at least had a run, she says, even if it was under a yellow umbrella. But it seems 2 well known Harriet�s managed to stay completely dry for the entire length of the run. How did they do this? They didn�t get out of their car! Ok Sybil and Zipp, very dry indeed.
- Kampong Hash this Saturday, Bukit Browne.
- Stiffy � Lion City D&D on 22nd and then refers to Not Tonight as �My darling wife,� but I�m not sure why because I fell out of my chair in shock at such language being used on the Hash. Come on Stiffy, uphold the Hash standards please.
- Also remember the 35th Anniversary run on the 29th, the early bird registration finishes next Wednesday. There will be heaps of spot prizes and best skit prize. Will there be a goody bag though?
- Royal Right Tit has admired the Merlion down on the river, a real Singaporean icon. However, tonight he saw the Hash�s own Merlion, Cock Radio swimming the canal then spitting out the muddy water when he reached the other side.
- Shoe Shopper is full of admiration for one of our runners. When confronted with shiggy, tunnels, canals, water holes and other such delights, what did she say? �F**ck that, I�m going down the road.� That�s the spirit we like to see in a GM, in you come Wet and Wild, you weren�t to keen on getting wet and wild tonight were you?
- Phoney Dick tells us that his venerable friend Astronut delivered some stuff to him at lunch time. �See you later for a run? Asks Phoney Dick. �No, no, bugger that,� was Astronut�s reply. But here he is. Apparently the lure of pussy and goody bags got him, much nicer than Mondays. Astronut then brings in another old venerable friend, King Lear, for a beer. Give the 3 venerables a note.
- The GM tells all the single ladies to listen. Size does matter! She saw Royal Right Tit go for a pee and he didn�t even go all the way into the bushes. And what�s more, he didn�t even have to pull his pants leg up very high either. Give Errol Flynn a note.
- The Hares were overheard saying to each other �F**ck November for setting a run, let�s put in for September next year! On that note, it�s on on on to the Red Lantern. How many people can we get in Shopper�s car? With Singaporn on my lap, I now see speed humps in a different light.
Scribed by Cock Radio