Circle Report - Run 1850
Father Anus and Knotty Bush Run
Tampines Ave 10
Run Report:
At 5.45, apart from the Hares, there was only 1 hasher! But no worries, by the time we started at 6.05 there were nearly 30 of us. Out the back into the long, prickly grass with Singaporn leading the way through the water, which was darn cold by the way. In future, if we are going to run through water, can the Hares make sure it is warm please. The pace was electric at this stage and there was some concern that we would not make it back to the beer wagon by 10. Some confusing moments for a while as the paper had been picked up, and probably put to good use, by some of the migrant workers in the area. Finally we come across one of Singapore�s huge stockpiles of concrete sand, but there�s no time for building sand castles as we skirt the perimeter. Finally we leave the sand and down into the bush and an improvised little wooden plank bridge over some shiggy. �Crack,� goes one of the planks, followed by a �sploof� and �Oh Shit,� as Stiff finds that he exceeded the weight load. Shortly, a T check turned everyone around and it was a race back to what remained of the plank bridge before Stiff got there. A balancing tree trunk across some shiggy saw Hashers testing their balancing skills, and after taking 2 steps and falling off into the mud, Stiffy discarded any thoughts of being a pro surfer. So it was back to more skirting of the concrete sand pile until another T check led us down through a thicket of Bamboo, which looked like it had just been freshly hacked with a machete. Thoughtful of the Hares. At this stage, thanks to some devious checks, it was Dances With Kerbs, Quickie and Kan the Cobra leading the way, with Slowcum the leading male right behind them. Out onto the bike track for some nice trail running through the bush then up the side of a hill to be greeted by a wonderful sunset over the wilderness of Tampines. Well, if you took away the HDB�s it would look a bit more rugged. Down the other side of the hill to be greeted by a fork in the track going left and right with a Circle. Luckily we had Boo with us, as he profoundly told us �it could go this way or that way.� Thanks Boo, that narrows it down and really helps. Finally out onto the main road for the sprint home, and what a sprint it was with Not Tonight as the lead women, pursued by Stiff, Comes Quietly, Cock Radio and Boo. �Hey, Grandma, how does it feel to be chased by 4 big men?� shouts Boo. Hang on Boo, shouldn�t that be 3 big men and 1 not so big man? Back in 1 hour for the FRB�s and within another 10 minutes for the rest. Well done Hares!
What did we think of the run?
This was a very good run, but a bucket and spade for all that sand could have been supplied. Well done Hares, top stuff.
Tell us about your On On.
100 metres down the road, $10 for a heap of food and we had 2 full tables.
Visitors and returnees;
The Stiff Family, Malfunktion, Eureka, Rusty Tits Welcome everyone.
Virgins:
Stiffy and Not Tonight brought along 2 then left them to find their own way back, with one of them injured. Welcome virgins.
Next week;
Shoe Shopper and Wet Patch are not here but Cock Radio fills in for them and then forgets where they had told him. Give Alzheimer�s a note.
The firm Tits:
Jack Off comes in, �Where are your Tits?� is the call. Goodness, if you can�t see that set you must be blind! The Velcro�s received a phone call before the run started. �Don�t start the run without us,� was the plea from a pair of running late Hashers. But what time must a 6 o �clock run start? Stiffy and Not Tonight, if you arrive late you just run fast and catch up.
Lipstick:
No lipstick today, yeah!!
AOB:
- Suzee Wong says thanks to organizers of the 35th Anniversary Run, who all worked very hard to put on a great night. But one person worked so hard that they ended up in hospital the next day. Well done Kan Not Can.
- Hand Bag needs a French person, and what a fine specimen he receives, Singaporn. A recent survey showed that the French need the largest condom in Europe (condom or condo??) while the Greek use the smallest. How do we know all this. A random (randy??) sample of men from all over Europe was asked to measure themselves and enter their own measurement into a data base. The organizers will not comment on the possibility that the French are either good at lying or poor at maths. We could ask an expert (?) but Singaporn refuses to comment. Oooh la la!
- Stiff gets Stiffy and little Stiff to join him and then proceeds to explain to us the different levels of stiffness between the 3 of them. Jack Off sees this as a naming opportunity, and after some debate Little Stiff will now be known as Stiff Lah (or should that be Stifflah?)
- Stiffy tells us about the thousands of feral camels roaming the Australian outback and the plan to put them to practical use. Instead of �Throw another shrimp/prawn on the Barbie, it will be �throw another Camel Burger on the Barbie, or perhaps a �McCamel Burger.� Not sure about the camel nuggets though. �Tie me kangaroo down sport, f**ck a camel!.....�
- Slowcum tells us that he would be most interested in viewing a menu of Camel Toes! Jack Off then does an inspection of all the females but no sign of a camel toe here.
- Well done to all the Marathon runners.
- Talk about shutting the stable door after the horse (camel?) has bolted, the Hares were seen putting down paper on trail after the last runner had passed. In fact, it was suggested there was enough paper out there to supply an army that had been fed curry for tea the previous night.
- Zipp knows of one Hasher who was responsible for the lack of paper in some areas. Seems that Kan the Cobra may have had a little bit of the Army�s curry for dinner.
- If it was your 31st wedding anniversary, where would you celebrate? Raffles? The Fullerton? Boat Quay? Endless possibilities hey. But would running a Hash in the bowels of Tampines make your list? Well done Stiffy and Not Tonight on 31 years of wedded bliss. Not Tonight s should be given a medal!
- Don�t forget Kampong Hash this Saturday, Track 7 Mandai Rd.
- Stiffy explains why some people get to sit at the Circle. Cock Radio is the scribe, the virgin has an injured ankle, but why is Slowcum sitting???? He then brings in Jack off who has bandaged knees, obviously suffering carpet burn. So what did Slowcum injure?
On that note,
On on on on.
Scribed by Cock Radio