Circle Report - Run 1853
Stiff, Stiffler, and Stiffy
Maida Vale - New Year�s Eve
See Seletar before it is expunged
The Run
A small but distinguished group gathered outside Stiff�s house, with bulldozers waiting threateningly (if that is a word) on the street. Yes, this is the �See Seletar before it is expunged� run, and off we head onto the soon to be expunged golf course. A loop or two around soon to be expunged roads are followed by a run along the fenceline of the air base, then a scenic tour of a soon to be expunged house (very strange to be running through a beautiful black and white leaving muddy footprints where surely the helper had only cleaned the tiles last week). Down onto Maida Vale, the canny short cutters headed home, while the rest of us did a circuit of the soon to be expunged driving range and back home. Nice run hares, very scenic, shame it won�t stay that way.
Circle Report:
My notes say something about dogs in the circle but that can�t be right? Anyway the hares were called in, the circle asked what they thought of the run, to which the replies included �too short� and �let�s have something new next time�. A good run was declared and the hares had a well deserved drink.
Tell us about your On On:
Through the gate (repeating a theme from last week), into Stiff�s backyard, $10 New Year�s Eve BBQ.
Next week�s run:
Lorong Sesui by Lethal Weapon and friends.
Visitors and returnees;
Now is it time for dogs in the circle? No we�ll have returnees instead, on in Skidmark and Sherpa. Given a drink, Skidmark observes that it is nice to be home even if they are expunging it.
The Tits:
Tiger Lily had the tits, which were decorated in seasonal sparkles. Tiger Lily remarked that she was keen to get rid of the tits so she could celebrate the new year. Not really sure why getting rid of tits would help with that, I would have thought tits would be an asset in celebrating new year, but it takes all types doesn�t it. Anyway, Knobby Boy Scout has just returned from Australia and during his travels he found a pair of compression socks in a triathalon shop, and he was sporting those on the run tonight. Tiger Lily thought they looked rather gay so she felt tits to go with the gay look would be just the thing. Give a note to the gay boy!
The Dick:
Who has the dick? Pussy Lifter has it. Where is he? He was on the run but not in the circle for visitors. While we are all muttering our own speculations, a car arrives, here is Pussy Lifter back for the circle. Where have you been, he is asked? Back home to get the dick, he replies. So where is it? In all the confusion of going home to have a shower, it appears he has forgotten to bring back the dick. So of course, he gets to keep it for another week as well as getting a drink for his trouble.
Lipstick:
No record. AOB:
- Skidmark wants Tiger Lily, Knobby Boy Scout, and Handbag to have a drink for short-cutting down the road rather than staying on trail.
- Tiger Lily wants to know if Pussy Lifter went home for a shower, why is he still wearing his hash shoes?
- Stiff wants to know how Tiger Lily can see Pussy Lifter�s shoes across a dark circle when she can�t see trail paper in the clear light of day. Is it her new fluorescent contact lenses. Give the blind one a note.
- Stiff enjoyed laying the trail with his co-hare, Stiffy, but he did remark that normally Stiffy is quite economical with trail paper. There was no excuse tonight because there was plenty of abandoned paper in the empty houses. So tonight, while chatting away, Stiffy reversed his usual practice and left paper every 2m. Is he unable to multi-task or his he just feeling generous this New Year�s Eve.
- Stiffy wants Skidmark and Sherpa in the circle. Apparently they are staying at Jackoff and Slocum�s house while they were away. Their hosts only had one request � please don�t let the cat out. So what did Skidmark and Sherpa spend all day doing? Looking for the cat! Give the careless ones a note.
- Not Tonight is worried about Pussy Lifter leaving the dick at home, which is due to be expunged tomorrow, which means the Harriets will be dickless. Give careless a note and then send him home to rescue our precious property. Stiff steps in to remind Pussy Lifter he won�t need to set the alarm tomorrow, the bulldozer will wake him up!
- Circle Jerk is impressed by Wednesday, which is much more civilized than the run he normally inhabits. How so? Well the women have to find the on at checks, we run through houses, and so on. One hasher taking advantage of this was Maggot, who popped into the loo in an abandoned house to relieve himself on the run. Unfortunately, Stiffy had taken all the toilet paper so it wasn�t completely civilized.
- Stiff points out that one of his co-hares was not welcomed with a drink when the circle started. On in Stiffler, and also the GM for forgetting.
- At this point Stiffy points out that while Stiffler may have been a co-hare, the truth is that he came home late and needed to sleep rather than set the run. He also points out that Not Tonight needed a bit of a snooze before the run, so here�s to the hot bedders.
- Stiffy wants to make another charge, but gets offended that the GM has called him Stuffy. So she gets a drink.
- Stiffy now wants to make his charge, which coincidentally is for the GM. Three weeks ago, one of the committee told the circle there would not be a run tonight due to lack of hares. Stiffy points out the Harriets have not canceled a run since Queen Victoria�s reign, so he and Stiff volunteered immediately to do a run. �No, too late� they were told. Next thing they knew they were on the hare line. Give the organized committee a note. � Half Cut was bitten by something last Friday but wasn�t sure what. Tiger Lily helpfully suggested a tic, which was not, apparently, what Half Cut wanted to hear. Give the reassuring one a note!
- Wet Pet wants the new velcros in the circle � Sherpa and Skidmark are wearing matching, 25th anniversary shirts � and why didn�t they bring one for us?
- Tiger Lily is already celebrating new year having gotten rid of the tits. She remembers that someone said we Harriets were civilized, so our visitors should be too. But Maggot hasn�t changed since Sunday Hash so give him a note for bringing down the tone.
- Maggot came in to give us a briefing on the traditions adopted by different hashes. Wednesday have had a long tradition that women must always run at the front of the hash. Most people know and respect this tradition, but tonight someone who SHOULD know much better said, at one point �oh f&*k it, we don�t need a woman�. On in Sneaky Comer.
- Stiff wants the women in �champaigne dresses� in for a champaigne down down � Not Tonight and Eleven. Skidmark gets a shameful down down for remarking �but they don�t have cups�.
- Stiffy wants Half Cut in for not bringing him a beer. Wasn�t she a hash brew at one point?
- The GM is offended by this and has Stiffy in � who the f%$k are you to be brought a beer? Have a down down.
- Stiff has Boo in for being quiet?!?!? (Yes, I checked my notes three times and that�s what they say).
- Stiff has Malfunction in � didn�t do run, turned up late, give him a drink.
- Hand Bag thinks Tiger Lily is mourning the death of Nora Batty, because she is wearing a cloth on her head. Give the considerate one a note. (I am sure this charge makes sense to someone, please send me a mail and explain if know). � Tiger Lily has an obsession with hash shoes tonight and notes that Dog Meat is still wearing his � give him a note.
- Stiffy has a parking related charge that I am not completely clear on. Apparently Malfunction arrived, parked next to Stiffy, then decided to move and park elsewhere because he �didn�t want people sitting on his car�. On in the �welsh git�.
- Tiger Lily has a charge for Vibrator. Apparently the word for vibrator in Japanese is vibrator. So he is a cunning linguist, since he has just been to Japan.
- Circle Jerk comes in to announce the �Ball and Chain� run on Friday 9th January, Venus Drive (not much point reporting that now, I suppose, hope it was a good run!)
- Since there are three beers left, Stiffy has Eleven in. Now we know that impending brides are very keen to get their bodies in good condition (looking fabulous) for their big day. So what does Eleven do? Come to the hash. She started the run hobbling, apparently from the hash of last week, and today she ran through a nest of red ants, worried she would get a pimple. Give the careless one a note.
- And finally, Pussy Lifter has been shamed into going home to get the Dick, because we need a safe home for it (not wanting it expunged). Pussy Lifter has three candidates:
- Stiffler for turning up late
- The GM for not planning a run
- Tiger Lily for yelling out �keep it�
- Stiff points out that Belcher hasn�t had a charge yet, so he should get a drink.
- Stiffy, to finish off the last beer: so we have heard about everyone going to bed before the run: Stiffler, Stiff apparently had a sleep before the run. But what about Wet Pet who came too early at 5:05pm and woke up the hares? Give her a note.
And with everything getting very silly with early new year�s eve celebrations, it�s on on on.