Circle Report - Run 1855
Knickerless & Lagolas Run
Chestnut Avenue
After time off with a cracked rib, Doctor Tiger Lily gave me the all clear to recommence Hashing. She took one look at me and decided that the extra padding around my stomach area caused by 2 weeks of Aussie BBQ�s and beer would be sufficient to protect the injured area should I fall. Thanks Doc! A good sized group of runners was told to stick to white new paper and flour and not run through any checks. As if we would lah. Down the road we went, with Virginia Slim informing me how he cracked his rib once � he was pissed and fell off his Penny Farthing! �Twas Mulga Slim from Toa Payoh, who caught the cycling craze,��.� (refer to the poem at the end of this report for the full version of how Slim cracked his rib on the Penny Farthing!)
After a couple of false trails off to the right, we finally headed along the fence of the water treatment plant where lots of barbed comments were made. I emerged from the fencing just in time to see a line of runners strung out along a ridge in the distance, reminding me of the loneliness of the long distance runner. Into the jungle for a section of lovely dirt trails. Ahh, the serenity. This is good stuff. Pushing Loose Change and Hooray aside, it was time to crank up into 2nd gear. It wasn�t long until I came up behind a Harriet performing some interesting steps in maneuvering around trips and bits of shiggy. A Jet� pas followed by a Pas de bourr�e and ending with a Pirouette piqu�e just to get over a 12 cm high log was classy. �I use to do ballet� Singaporn informs us. Probably just to perve at the guys in their tights I bet!. Anyway, either due to excessive speed or doing a Port�e when she should have done an �chapp�, led to Singaporn failing to take the next bend and she ended up in the rough on her Fouett�. Nice one! I wouldn�t have minded giving her a Piqu� to help her out! Ohh la la! Up a nice hill we plodded, pushing Loose Change and Hooray aside. Mmm, didn�t we do that just before? Having reached the summit, it was all down hill, causing Singaporn to comment �I don�t like going down.� This immediately destroyed all my lustful thoughts of the French as being wonderful lovers.
Emerging from the jungle, we were confronted with another uphill battle, so off we set, pushing Loose Change and Hooray aside. Again? More lovely trails and a glimpse of water through the trees at the reservoir.
Finally we emerged into civilization with Boo telling us 10 minutes to home along the made path next to the freeway. Was Boo looking slightly concussed at this stage?? Most of the pack was back within 45 � 55 minutes. It was time then for a well earned drink, so pushing Loose Change and Hooray aside I made my way to the beer wagon �..Oh come on you two guys, just how do you keep doing that???
What did we think of the run?
Good run was the unanimous vote. �Very very nice,� was heard from Shaggy Dick. Well done Hares, thank you.
Tell us about your On On:
Karous, Upper Bukit Timah Rd, $12. They gave us curry.
Returnees:
Posh Duck,
Visitors:
Nick, Anne, Loreena, Claire, You Never, Hopeless, Sivert, Bagless 2
Virgins:
Richard, Chris, Priyali
Next week;
Empress Rd, Off Farrer Rd. Wet Pet, Octopussy
Lipstick;
The 2 male virgins wondered why they had waited so long when they saw Goody Bags applying the lipstick. A couple of other visitors also got the lippy treatment!
The firm Tits:
Knobby Boy Scout has been giving the Tits a firm work out of his own at home, and forgot to bring them.
AOB
- Sneaky Comer reminds us that racing on the Hash is a no no. Apparently Singaporn and Cock Radio were involved in some tit for tat racing at the finish until CR collapsed gasping and had to walk the rest of the way in. (My rib was hurting a bit from the tit for tat with Singaporn- CR)
- Knickerless also observed some racing at the finish involving the first 2 runners to come in. As expected, one of these culprits was Tiger Lily, but who was the other racing villain? None other than Croc Hunter!
- Jack Off asks the question as to whether this was a muddy run? No, of course not, was the obvious reply. Well how come Richard the Virgin came back with a very muddy right foot? Furthermore, when Jack Off introduced herself to Richard before the run, he laughed as soon as she said �Jack Off� and said �Really?� After being threatened with being named Muddy Beaver, he is let off with a down down.
- Sneaky Comer charges Boo for a Karma charge - we often get led into dangerous, �do not enter� areas by the locals. You know, those areas with big red signs saying you will be shot if you go in there. So it was karma that one of the key guilty locals, Boo, banged his head on one of those signs tonight while running along and not looking. Couldn�t happen to a better bloke!
- Tiger Lily has a go at Royal Right Tit for all the racist comments being made by Prince Harry during the week. �I had a dream, that one day�..�
- Zipp proves that she is a rocket scientist when she points out that we are all getting older and that this can lead to memory loss. But she points out that Confucius has completely lost the plot when she could not remember her husband�s name. Now just what is his name again? Virginia Slim is bought in to help jolt her memory. Is it Graham, Jim, Dick, or Douglas? Mmm, I wonder what his last name is?
- Tiger Lily noticed a Harriet heading off to the bushes for a quick pee pee before the run. Mmm, can�t go that direction, better go to the bushes just there. Yes, the bushes just where the film crew were set up with the cast in full swing. �Lights, camera, action!� and the filming starts with a Harriet in the back ground having a pee pee. And just who could this person be? Well, with a name like Singaporn, yep, you guessed it!
- Slowcum asks Not Tonight where Stiffy is tonight, and she replies �Not here tonight.� But you always come together. Then he notices Suzee Wong on her own and asks her where In and Out is tonight. She answers �In and Out is out.� So why have these 2 gals been stood up tonight? The boys are out learning to sail. Just hope they still have their main sail up when they come home and can finish with plenty of wind in their sail.
- Father Anus sees an opportunity and calls in Sneaky Comer and Wet N Wild to tell us that they are recently married. Well, relatively anyway. He then calls in Goody Bags who has �vintage� printed on the back of her mini skirt. I�m not sure what the connection was but we sure as hell thank Father Anus for bringing Goody Bags in and parading her around for us. Never miss an opportunity!!
- Kan Not Can remembers there was a wedding last week, and it all comes back to him why there were no Tits tonight. Apparently the Tits had a night on the town last Thursday night and were spotted in Duxton Hill, Geylang, Orchard Towers and other places were Tits are scarce. KNC then, having confirms these appearances with Knobby, explains to Kan The Cobra where he was last Thursday night. But why you would want to BYO Tits to those locations mystifies me!
- Not Tonight thanks the Committee for making sure we had plenty to drink tonight. 2 Beer Wagons is just beyond expectations!
- Zipp sends a message to Twin Towers � �We miss you!� Yes, TT, we miss both of you, come back soon! But with Chinese New Year Year coming up, what year were you born in Twin Towers? �I was born in the year of the Horse,� she says confidently with pride, stamping her back foot at the same time. Zipp did a little calculation and found that would make Twin Towers 31 years of age, the same age as Zipp!
�Noo, I just turned 30,� insists Twin Towers, remember! �
�Then that makes you a Goat,� proclaims Zipp.
�Nooo, I told you I am a Horse,� Twin Towers snorts.
�Who told you this information? inquires Zipp.
�Goody Bags consulted her special Chinese Zodiac Star Sign Book, as seen on Channel Rip 1 Off.� replies Twin Towers.
Give Goody Bags a note, and a new Zodiac book please. - At some stage around this time, some milestone awards were handed out. I distinctly remember Not Tonight getting her top off for running several times and how can we forget Tiger Lily getting her top off to reveal a rainbow coloured bra. Just what does lie at the end of a rainbow??? And there was a male also, but after the gals I lost interest and can�t remember who it was. Sorry mate.
- Cock Radio holds up the high heeled GM�s shoes to the Circle and asks what name do we give to these shoes? The reply is deafening ��F**ck Me Shoes,� of course is the answer.
�No longer,� says CR, there has been a renaming. Before the Circle, the shoes were captured by Not Good Enough, who then held them for Randysome, I mean ransom.
Not Good Enough demands to Wet n Wild, �I�ll give you the shoes back if you take off your clothes.�
�F**ck off� is the reply from the GM.
And so we have born �The F**ck Off Shoes� - Virginia Slim relieves the Scribe of his chair and places it in the middle of the Circle, minus the Scribe thankfully. Kan Not Can is then placed on the vacant chair and has to relive how he was recently relieved of his trousers and his remaining clothing by several women and left sitting there with his teeny weeny hanging out. ( hope it didn�t touch my seat � Scribe) �He�s the meanest, ��..� Now give me my chair back.
- Tiger Lily gets in before I do for a final charge. On learning that she had forgotten her knickers, she claimed that Cock Radio offered her a pair of his boxers. �I wouldn�t touch those, I don�t know where they�ve been.� she replied disgusted. I won�t try and explain what my charge was, I take my medicine (down down that is) and retreat peacefully!
On on on on to Karous, Hope I don�t have to push Loose Change and Hooray aside to get a seat!
Scribed by Cock Radio, and it�s great to be back!!!