Circle Report - Run 1858
Chinese NIU Year Run
On Springleaf Road, end of
The Run.
Obviously everything is open again, and so the Chinese New Year Run is held at last. No need for dial a pizza tonight. Half the pack follows Boo and assembles at the end of Springleaf Avenue instead of Springleaf ROAD. Don�t you read the run report, why do I bother! And don�t follow Boo! Well, the Hares have managed to break the drought and it is a very wet bunch of Hashers that finally assembles at the correct site. Fortunately for the males, many of the girls have forgotten what rain does to white T Shirts and have been caught out. Good run already and we haven�t even left the start! The Hares tell us that the run was set on flour and paper, emphasizing the past tense, was. After several hours of rain, they are fairly certain that the trail is presently set on rapidly diminishing soggy paper and dough.
Off down the road we run in the direction of Upper Thompson Rd. Just why we would want to really go in that direction when all the jungle and running trails were back the other way was a puzzle. What wasn�t a puzzle was that Tiger Lily fell for it and led her usual bunch of blind mice all the way down the hill for a T Check. Wiser heads had slowed to a stop back at the obvious entrance to a jungle area, and a big smirking �Hee hee hee, told you so,� chuckle was heard from Stiffy, Boo, and Cock Radio, who had even managed to convince the 2 tasty �wanna be virgins again� girls to hang back also. So getting a good start on the blind FRB�s, it was Boo who found paper into a lovely jungle trail. �Quick,� shouts Stiffy, �Get some of the slower runners in behind us to block Tiger Lily and company,� he plotted cunningly. So very confidently, we strode down the jungle trail, smug in the knowledge that the FRB�s would never catch us on the narrow path. Then disaster struck. �On back.� called the Hares, �You�re on the men�s trail from Monday!� Oh shit. So we turn around to retrace our steps. �Get out of the bloody way you slow runners; we�ll never catch the FRB�s now.� Don�t follow Boo!
So it was back down the road to the end of Nee Soon Road and Springleaf Avenue, where � of us had wrongly assembled before the run. Over the bridge and finally the pack is drawn together again because all the paper here had disintegrated into oblivion without leaving a trace, and the Hares were saying nothing as to where the trail went. Finally, when everyone had caught up, the Hares point us down the canal. Yes, good trail, leads to a great area for running. Oh no, a bloody T Check. The rest of the pack turns to search back, but Kan Not Can and I are too clever and know that if we short cut across the long grass we will pick up trail. Mmm, bloody hard finding this short cut KNC. Wait a minute, there�s the rest of the pack on the other side of the canal on the new path going the other way. �Oh shit,� not again. Kan Not Can reckons he knows a short cut back across the canal, but I know if I keep going I will come to the bridge at Lentor Rd.
Eventually I get to Lentor and find flour, but it goes in both directions, so which way?? �Hey, White man, this way under the bridge,� shout a couple of Indian construction workers sheltering from the rain under the bridge. And sure enough, there was dry flour. Onto the peninsula, and I have no idea where the trail went exactly as I lost it in the jungle after swinging across a stream on a vine, but I did know where it would end up and I finally caught the pack at the Track by Lower Seletar for one of the meanest drink stops imaginable. Pure alcohol! But this wasn�t the end of the run, oh no. Off we set, under another bridge and up onto. Along the footpath, Tiger Lily and her followers were pumped on alcohol, and so did they see the turn off into the jungle? Of course they f**cking didn�t. On Back! Some more slippery trails, dirty bottoms, trips, thorns and shiggy through the jungle until we finally emerged on the other side of the embankment, right where everyone had gone for a pee before the run. Anyway, there was the beer van, and that�s what mattered most. Good run, both of them!
Circle Report:
What did we think of the Run?
�It was a bit like Monday�s run,� commented someone, probably not a female though. �They stole our run,� shout the Hares defending themselves. �And anyway, it didn�t rain on Monday,� they added on, which thus made tonight�s Run completely different. Good run, well done Hares.
On On:
Bang Chang, down Upper Thompson Rd, $12 for great food and good luck and prosperity.
Next week;
Sneaky Comer, on behalf of the Hares, mentions something about a special Kiwi Celebration Run next week, I think it is National Sheep Shagging Day or something like that. Dempsey Rd. Interpreter provided.
Returnees;
Sex Change, C**ntfused, Malfunktion, King Leer, Pussy Lifter and Shag, who gets a round of �Who ate all the pies,�..�
Visitors:
S&M & Acronymph, who still can�t make it back into the Virgin category, Steffan, Black Member.
Virgin;
Forced Entry. Now hang on a minute, something�s going wrong here. A virgin who already has a Hash name, and Forced Entry at that? I think she needs a medical check up to verify her status.
Lipstick:
The lippy is back, and so is Goody Bags, so Mr. Potato Head, Sneaky Comer, Steffan, Boo and possibly Comes Quietly receive their punishment.
The Tits:
Legaless, who received the Tits for appearing at last weeks run without Tits, has decided she likes having Tits and is keeping them for another week.
The Dick:
Jack Off has 3 candidates. Boo, for leading the pack the wrong way onto Monday�s paper, and Kan Not Can and Cock Radio for being on the wrong side of the canal. And by popular demand, the winner is Boo.
Red Packets;
Basket Case and Croc Hunter are presented with their little gifts from the Harriet�s, which puts a smile on their face.
Awards;
50 Runs - Kan Not Can. �He�s the meanest,�� (only 50? Feels like 500 to us) 550 Runs � Stiffy. This would have been a joint husband/wife moment, but Stiffy decided to go sailing the other Wednesday, allowing his wife to come first, which was rather noble of him I guess.
AOB?
- Not Tonight follows this on with a question for Stiffy. After 30 odd years of marriage (and married to Stiffy, they would be very odd indeed), how come we don�t come together any more she asked. �I do divorce cases!� chips in Boo the opportunitist!
- Slowcum observed Boo showering, which was possibly worth a charge in itself, and how did he manage to stay dry after as he was changing? Quickie was standing with an umbrella held over him.
- Sex change announces he has something in his pants and puts his hand down to pull out a ���. Sole of a running shoe, apparently belonging to Slowcum. Fancy having the sole of a Hare in your pants!
- Handbag has been away for 3 weeks teaching Iranian divers, but his biggest fear was that they would not understand him. This was based on the grounds that every time he comes into the Circle to speak in Singapore, Boo gives him a hard time and tells him to speak English. No need to worry, the Iranians understood him perfectly!
- Jack Off reckons Shag has done an amazing job to do the complete run tonight, despite showing symptoms of what would appear to be advanced pregnancy. Even slid down the slopes on her bum. �She�s alright, she�s alright, she�s a little flat chested���,� mmm, but not as flat as she use to be!
- Kan Not Can gives us a definition of what a shag is, a black sea bird often seen perched out on a post drying it�s wings. Actually, I once saw a shag in the dunes at the beach, but they put their clothes back on when they noticed me watching. Anyway, Kan Not Can then went on to recite a traditional Scottish poem about a shag. I think a traditional little Robbie Burns ditty about a shag may have been more in order!
- Knobby Boy Scout also liked the combination of white T Shirts and rain on the run tonight, and so holds a little wet T Shirt competition. The candidates are; Acronymph, S&M, (good choices!!), Goody Bags (always a good choice) and Malfunktion. Wait a moment, I smell a rat! S&M and Acronymph are eliminated because they look too innocent, leaving Mal and Goody. And the winner is Malfunktion because he wore nothing under his T Shirt!
- Goody Bags tells us that Knobby Boy Scout got rather excited during the run, could have been the sight of Malfunktion�s wet T Shirt. Anyway, whatever the cause, it resulted in KBS foaming.
- Slowcum found it interesting Co Haring with Sex Change, who had never co Hared before. So as the 2 boys strolled around having a chatter, he began to ask about where they should put the checks and Circles etc. �Don�t worry about doing the checks,� Slowcum tells him, Jack Off will do those. And on they go talking, while Jack off ran off setting all the long T Checks etc. �Holly shit!� exclaims Sex Change, �She�s got energy. If I told my wife to do that, she would tell me to f**ck off!�
- Slowcum was helping Sex Change mix the margaritas when his son, Aiden, asked �What�s this for dad?� as he pulled the plug from the bottom of the wheelie bin. (esky) After a couple of litres went down the drain, the plug was put back in and the esky hurriedly filled back up with pure alcohol.
- Jack Off finishes off the story Slowcum told about setting the run. Not only did he get Jack Off to set the T Checks, but he told her to set them as far as possible while he and Sex Change strolled along chattering, forcing Jack Off to run her butt off to catch up before setting the next one! In the words of Twin Towers, �Bastard!�
- Pussy Lifter, who is dressed like a gentleman in his work clothes, gets in all the non gentlemen who cheered when they heard what Jack Off was made to do by her husband. More �bastards!� and there were too many to name!
- Slowcum charges all the Monday men. For weeks and weeks he has been hacking his way to make trails for this run and what do the Monday boys do? Come and steal his run with 2 days to go. Stiffy comes in as well, just because he is a whinger I think!
- Stiffy was slightly bent over while descending an embankment, when from behind him came a Harriet�s voice, �Tight pack!� Well, Stiffy always thought that he had a nice bum, but it�s not often described like that by a female in public. What a compliment he thinks. That was nice of you Wet Pet. �No, no, no� she defends herself. �I was talking about how good the checks are on this run because the Hares have kept the pack together really well.� Oh, bad luck Stiffy.
- Tiger Lily is called in, but she is a little hesitant and turns away to do some readjusting of essential pieces of clothing, apparently there was a wardrobe malfunction. Comes Quietly and Zipp, both of whom were just seen also readjusting certain pieces of clothing are also brought in, and we wait while Zipp emerges from the bushes. So why? Seems the cooler weather has had an effect on the bladders and these 3 couldn�t wait for the end of the Circle to go and have a pee.
So on that note, the acting GM realizes that maybe everyone needs to go for a pee, so it�s��.
�On on on.�
Scribed by Cock Radio