Circle Report - Run 1859
The Kiwi Celebration aka Sheep Shaggers Run
@ Dempsey Road
The Run.
Good weather for a Kiwi Run: rain, grey skies, cool, and the smell of sheep dung greeted us at Dempsey Rd. Wait a minute, that smell is not sheep dung , it�s durian. Ai ya! It�s so hard to tell the difference between durian and sheep shit, I just can�t pick it. Actually, today is not National Sheep Shagging Day, as that goes on 364 days of the year in the Land of the Long White Cloud. Today was actually National No Sheep Shagging Day, when the sheep actually get a day off to graze in the puddocks, lick each other�s bums and do other natural sheepy stuff! But where are the Hares? At 2 minutes past 6 they emerge from the depths of Dempsey, looking like drowned sheep and tell us that there could be a fair bit of trail missing. So off we go up the hill, and sure enough, the Hares were correct, a fair bit of the trail was missing, not that this worried Tiger Lily, Shaggy Dick 2 or Knobby Boy Scout as they never see the trail when it is marked. They simply ran up and down and around and around as usual. A cut across the paddock is well missed by the front of the pack, and it is down onto Queensway to harass a few pedestrians. Across the pedestrian overpass, the front runners followed each other like sheep. Of course it was a Sheep Check. Back onto grass for a bit more grazing and skirting the perimeter of the Queensway golf driving range area, we finally came to the Queenstown Remand Centre. The front runners kept on going, like lambs to the slaughter, because of course it was on back and into the golf Driving Range. Along the drain on the left, a small hole in a barb wire had to be negotiated, forcing some larger runners to perform Houdini style acts to get through. Of course Boo was on the right hand side laughing as there was no barb wire fence there. Emerging from the drain and bush, it was back out to the right, but Boo smelt a sheep, so he went straight ahead through the road construction works, taking a few �believers� with him. Sure enough there was paper, but where it went and which way we have no idea. Eventually the rest of the pack were seen ahead in Tanglin Rd., so some road running before heading into the grasslands at the back of Dempsey. But to do this, a rather tricky drain had to be negotiated. I suspect that the Hares wanted us to go through the drain, as it was actually a sheep wash used to get the flies out of the dags on the sheep�s bum. Baa, baa. Across the grass, into the back of the Dempsey shops, down the hill and back into the car park. Well done Hares, Good run.
Circle Report:
Singaporn has made a return to the Hash, well, at least to the important part of the Hash, the drinking. Just don�t let her near that drain behind the beer van.
What did we think of the Run?
�Baa, baa, baa, baa,� which meant good run.
On On:
Harrys for a la carte
Next week;
Knobby Boy Scout, Colbar
Visitors / Returnees:
S&M, Malfunktion, Hungry Bum, Bagless
New members:
Black Member.
Virgin;
Nope, not tonight.
Lipstick:
Mr. Potato Head is an absolute Monty for this tonight, and joining him are Shaggy Dick 2, and Knobby Boy Scout.
The Tits:
Legaless has had enough of having tits and wants a reduction. There were 3 ladies before the run moaning about being �old moaners.� ( �too many old ladies on the Hash,� snickers Hooray in the background.) In comes Twin Towers, Goody Bags and Kan the Cobra. But wait, Legaless was at the front a few times today, well should have been at the front 2 times but both times there was a male in front of her. No, shame, shame, who was it?? Mr.Potato Head. So who should get the tits? Mr. PH gets the nod, hands down.
The Dick:
Boo thinks it is a bit of a wank putting a cover over your car in a public car park just because it is raining a bit. But what do we think of a car owner who puts 2 covers over his car? Absolute wanker. In you come Stiffy, and while your putting that much protection on your car, get a condom to put on the Dick before it gets a bit wet too.
Awards;
The Sheep Shaggers award goes to the Kiwis.
AOB?
- Not Tonight, who is holding a lamb, reminds us of 2 golden rules on the Hash.
1. Don�t follow Boo.
2 Don�t follow Tiger Lily
Father Anus is mentioned for following Tiger Lily and yours truly for following Boo. BUT wait, there was one runner who made the mistake of following Boo and Tiger Lily. Unbelievable, Too Easy, won�t you ever learn. - Shaggy Dick 2 was looking out the window at work at about 3 pm and was confronted with grey skies and rain by the bucket load, severely dinting his enthusiasm for going to the Hash for a run. This actually reminded him of New Zealand � grey, miserable, rain and no one can really be bothered going there. Come on Shaggy, 8 million sheep can�t be wrong!
- Boo saw Shaggy looking a bit lost at one stage as he was running up and down and round in circles. When lost, it is always a good idea to seek help and ask someone. So Boo directed SD2 to ask the man in the nice uniform standing at the gate � yes, the gate to the prison! On in and close the gate behind you please, and mind the barb wire.
- Cock Radio then suggested that Boo was familiar with the prison as some of his clients were in there. Ah yes, Boo, the almost a good lawyer. At least you got them free accommodation and meals Boo!
- ( as I�m writing this up at home and watching MTV, there was a girl on telling the world to be on the alert for killer lambs that are taking over the world. I kid you not, fair dinkum it�s true. There was even a web site. www.animax_ lambs.com . The Kiwis will be in trouble now. That�s what they get for abusing sheep )
- Malfunktion decides to stick the boots into the Kiwis as well and tells us why Kiwis farmers wear wellingtons (rubber gum boots) The Farmer takes a sheep and places its back legs down the top of his wellingtons, thus restraining the sheep in a convenient up right shagging position. To demonstrate, he calls in Knobby Boy Scout who is wearing some sort of boots and taking a stuffed sheep (well, if it�s not stuffed now it certainly will be by the time Knobby finished with it) places the legs into the boots and lets KBS go to town on it. Ok Knobby, we get the idea, you can stop now. Knobby�, stop�..Knobby, that�s enough��.. Oh my goodness, someone put him on the next plane to NZ. Knobby, STOP�..
- After the last charge, the GM is rather curious as to how Malfunktion was so knowledgeable on these matters. �Because shepherds originally came from Shetland.� replies Malfunktion rather sheepishly.
- Stiffy overheard Gives Way asking why so many people had the black shirts on with an arm band design? Umm, well they happen to be Kiwi shirts, and tonight�s run is the NZ run. I think I can detect some sort of connection there, but lets� just reflect a bit more on it.
- Stiffy observed a Harriet arriving at the run site in a taxi. This is not all that unusual, except Twin Towers, you only around the corner 100 meters away! Did the cab actually roll over a kilometer charge to the fare or did you just pay the flag fall?
- Singaporn was having a chat with Knobby Boy Scout and kept going and going until he finally found the opportune time to whip out his business card and number to hand to her, all in the name of �business,� of course. Monkey business I reckon, and after his previous sheep effort, Singaporn is lucky that a business card is all he whipped out. I�m sure I saw him sizing up Singaporn�s feet to see if they would fit down the top of his boots.
- Slowcum told a Kiwi joke about dropping ones pants and then connected the dropped pants to something he saw during post run shower time. Shaggy Dick 2 just happened to be walking past Goody Bags as she was bent over in her G String. SD2 then came to a halt, adjusted his spectacles and wiped them, as they had steamed up, and remained bent over at the perfect viewing angle for the next 4 minutes admiring the scenery. You bastard, how could you do that��.. and not call me over too! Very bloody cheeky of you,
- Jack Off has become suspicious now and asks Slowcum just how long was he there watching?? Was he just observing SD2 or was he having a good look at what SD2 was so interested in?
- Jack Off arrived at the large drain that we had to jump at the same time as Stiffy. Jack Off jumps across, No Fear! But Stiffy holds back and pussy foots around. �I can�t do it, I won�t make,� he whimpers. Jack off calls Stiffy in and compares the length of his long legs with hers. Stiffy, didn�t they teach you long jump at school.
- And finally Jack Off suggests that if you are going to wear bikini bottoms then you should wax your bikini line (or more!). In you come Kan the Cobra, just have a look at that apron you are wearing!
- Hand Bag could not make the run as his boss grabbed him as he was walking out the door. Seems that hand Bag had passed on some technical advice on smart boards he had got from Stiffy on to his boss, the result being total disaster that required urgent fixing. So it�s not so smart to take advice from Stiffy.
- Kan Not Can needs a tall blonde Aussie female (don�t we all??) but settles for Wet and Wild as a look a like. Coming out of the bushes, she was confronted by a tall fence to the left and more bush straight ahead. Which way to go lah? KNC calls out for her to go left, which she does and of course ran straight into the big tall fence. Another blonde moment.
- KNC mentions the Dog Hash. �I ran with a bitch once,� calls Not Good Enough and promptly gets a whack across the ears from Too Easy. KNC continues by suggesting that we now have an Equestrian Hash. Twin Towers was wearing riding britches that kept on riding up her buttocks every time she jumped a hurdle. Where�s the whip???
- Malfunktion tells us that 90% of people have admitted showering together while the other 10% haven�t been caught yet!
- Goody Bags dobs in Father Anus for poking out his tongue (was that when she was bent over in her G String??) and doing it doggie style (ok, obviously was when she was bent over in her G String. Did Shaggy get to watch this too?)
- Tiger Lily calls in Hungry Bum and Comes Quietly. She is wearing a Singapore top and he has on an Aussie shirt. Come on, this is meant to be a Kiwi Run!
- Zipp reckons you are never too old to learn, and you can always teach an old sheep new tricks. She was showering with 2 young farts and they stripped down to their underwear, but Zipp was a bit too modest to do that. �Stand in the middle of us.� They suggested, then no one will see you. �Yes, and I get to look at their underwear.� Said Zipp. And why not, Shaggy did.
- Hand Bag saw a Harriet call to her partner for assistance after showering. Kan Not Can had to help Kan The Cobra with her bra, it just wouldn�t do up. �Can you help me darling?� �Kan lah!�
- Don�t forget subs are overdue so pay up or we�ll send Kan Not Can around to your house to give you a short lecture on tardiness.
�On on on.�
Scribed by Cock Radio