Circle Report - Run 1860
Knobby Boy Scout
Colbar on Portsdown
The Run.
A very good turn up, sunny skies, the beer van was set up and off we went at 6.00, pm sharp, because that is what time a 6.00 run starts, not a minute either side. Allegedly, anyway. Up the road, across the grasslands, past the houses, down the steps and finally out onto the railway line. As we searched along the line after a T Check, there was an almighty horn blast, followed by a thundering roar as the 6.05 KL Express came charging around the bend at us. Well, as we all know, the Hash is not meant to be competitive but I tell you, there was a fair bit of competition as 40 runners attempted to get off the tracks before they ended up in Malaysia on the front of a locomotive. Crikey! You have never seen a collective group of Hashers move so quick, and it was every man, and woman, for themselves, pushing, shoving, scratching and biting each other in a frantic effort of self preservation. Well organized Knobby. Having revived the 6 runners that suffered a coronary from the scare, and treating 12 for hamstrings suffered due to their rapid sprint effort in getting off the track, it was onto the safety of a footpath, where the only noticeable danger on wheels came from a pram and an uncle on his pre war bike. A Circle check saw a chance for runners to regroup and discuss things, such as life insurance policies, medical insurance and wills. Tiger Lily sprinted around in a big loop looking for trail, with Fawlty Towers hot on her heels. As he went past, he gloated with a smug smile, �When she finds trail first, I�ll be right there with her up the front.� After 5 minutes of searching, trail was finally found along the road and off we sprinted/ran/jogged/ limped/ walked/ crawled. Tiger Lily was soon at the front but where was Boy Wonder? No sign of Fawlty Towers, he was crawling along absolutely spent at the back of the pack! Pace yourself lad! A big loop had us heading back to where we just came from, until a T check turned us around and back onto the railway. Mr. Potato Head, who obviously had enough train experiences for one night, ran across the track, up the embankment and promptly found home trail meant for the walkers. He then spent the rest of the night running up and down Portsdown Rd. Meanwhile, the rest of went through the railway tunnel, hoping that the 3.10 from KL wasn�t coming the other way. Thankfully, the Hare took us off the line via a pedestrian overpass, although Father Anus and others were seen climbing a gate instead. Across to Bouna Vista MRT and some pedestrian dodging along the footpaths. The pedestrians simply stepped aside for us as we hurtled towards them, with S&M performing some sort of Moses parting trick as she ran along shouting �On On.� Some of the pack lost trail to the left of South Buona Vista Rd, until there was almost a collision between the 2 separate packs on a road under construction. S&M takes everyone down the hill towards Portsdown Rd but no trail. Some dedicated runners headed back searching, while another group including yours truly bumped into Posh Duck who said he had found trail. Out onto Portsdown Rd and there was Mr. Potato Head happily running up and down it for the 6th time, telling us about the loop we had just missed. By this stage, Fawlty Towers legs were struggling to propel him forward with any momentum at all, in fact he appeared to be going backwards! Past Tanglin School and back to the Colbar. Good stuff Knobby.
Circle Report:
Singaporn has managed a walk tonight, but was looking rather horrified at the drain that loomed between the Circle and the beer van. Bad memories lah.
What did we think of the Run?
Good Run!
On On:
Colbar for fish and chips or chips a curry. At the Circle, 30 hands altogether went up, (for a combination of fish an chips or curry an chips) and so 30 meals were ordered before the 8.30 deadline. However, 38 people turned up for the meal, and then paid their money accordingly, resulting in a shortfall of 8 meals. (Nothing wrong with my maths!) Knobby dealt with the situation in a cool, calm manner, then ordered himself another beer or 2! Well done. (I would have cracked it!)
Next week;
Give Way and Too Easy, and the Returned Danish Seamen. (taking numbers for the on on now, please email your order through!} Telok Blangah area.
Visitors / Returnees:
S&M, Malfunktion, Tamil, Posh Duck, Leg Over, Great Balls of Fire, Shuttle Cock, Fiona, Fawlty Towers, Dog Shit and whoever.
New members:
Virgin;
I think there were, but maybe I was fantasising?
Lipstick:
Mr. Potato Head because he has lost total self respect and has given up trying to avoid lipstick. Joining him is a shit load of visitors who ask �What did we do?� Fawlty Towers goes in too for just being plain reckless and trying to take on Tiger Lily in the first 20 minutes.
The Tits:
Mr. Potato Head has the Tits on (no surprise at all, given his previous mention) tells us he had 1 candidate originally, but it has grown suddenly (as the Bishop said to the Nun)
Too Easy and Give Way spent considerable time explaining where next weeks run would be. After their 5 minutes was up, both Shoe Shopper and Handbag said �Where?� Good grief Charlie Brown, stop talking and listen will you!
Then there was the GM trying to say �Bagless.� It sounded to me like �Bug Lust.� But obviously that wasn�t correct. Malfunktion is then brought in to teach her, and his pronunciation is just too much for an Aussie scribe. It was something like � Bugger Lust.� Oh well, that will do! Speak English!
But only one person can win, says Mr. Potato Head. Mr. P.H lost trail (because he heard Hooray calling at the top of the train line and found home trail for the walkers!!!) and he ended up running 6 times up and down Portsdown Rd on trail but getting nowhere. For this he blames the Hare. Could have been a case for �Keep the Dick!� but like a trooper, KBS accepts them.
The Dick:
Stiffy attempts to start his charge but gets no where as the GM is busy talking. Actually, she seems even chirpier than normal? Singaporn is then asked on what side of the road do you drive? �On the right, of course,� she says. Stiffy then corrects her and points out that when driving in the ENGLISH Channel, you must drive on the left. And so the French are found guilty of sailing their nuclear submarine on the wrong side in the English Channel, causing it to collide with a British nuclear sub.
Awards;
The �chirpy can�t shut her up tonight,� award has to go to the GM, who is in particularly good form. I�m glad she wasn�t on the run because with her chattering away we would never have heard the train coming! Now will you shut the f**ck up, I can�t hear the charges!!!
AOB?
- Jack Off was in her car on the way to the run when she received a call from a worried Committee member. �I�m at the run site but there doesn�t seem to be anyone else here.� says the puzzled member.
�Where are you exactly?� asks Jack Off.
�In the car park at the Handlebar.� states the puzzled one.
�Umm, Goody Bags, the run is at the Colbar, not the Handlebar!�
Obviously all Bars look the same to Goody bags. - Goody Bags has just asked �What is that flashing in your pants Shoeless?� Sure enough, Shoeless is definitely flashing. Either turn your phone off or wear thicker trousers to the Circle.
- In and Out comes in and tells us the Harriet�s is looking up. Tonight we had a full moon even before the scheduled moon up time. And there was a pair of cheeks in the full moon. Wait a moment, that�s no full moon, it�s Turbo in a G String. So In and Out was innocently walking along minding his own business, tra lala, tra lala, when Turbo dropped her pants in front of him and promptly accused him of perving. Give the Cheeky gal a note!
- Tiger Lily noticed Shoe Shopper putting on a nice little show for the patrons of the nearby restaurants. Was this free entertainment or was there a cover charge?
- Legaless received a blonde moment charge from Tiger Lily. Unfortunately I couldn�t hear it as I had 4 people standing in front of me. Respect for the scribe!
- Not Tonite noticed many male members on the wrong side of the tracks as the train came thundering around the bend. Stiffy, Fawlty Towers, Malfunktion and co jumped the wrong way and ended up on the far side of the trail. However, Camel didn�t want to be stranded on the wrong side so he just leaped in front of the train to get across. Give road kill, I mean track kill, a note.
- Stiffy noticed a visitor had to leave early tonight due to a thigh injury. From running? No, playing Nintendo! Loretta comes in as a half Brazillian to receive. Not a bad Hash name actually.
- Malfunktion reminds us that 27 Hashers and 1 Camel were nearly killed by the KL Express tonight. Being the strange sort of bloke that he is, the thought of this near catastrophe causes him to break into song and he gives us a round of �The 6.36 special.� Just how did it get here so early?
- Suzee Wong gives a plug for the Mondays men�s celebration run on March 21st, Turf City. Women invited of course.
- Don�t forget subs are overdue so pay up or we�ll send Kan Not Can around to your house to give you a �short lecture� on tardiness.
�On on on.�
Scribed by Cock Radio