Circle Report - Run 1862
Too Easy & Boo�s Birthday Run
Track 7 Upper Seletar
The Run.
�Mmm, mmmmmmm, mmm mmmmmmmmm�
�So you won�t be ready?
�Mm, mmmmm mmmmm, mmm mmmmm mmmmm.�
�Oh, you�ll be finished in 4 minutes?�
�Mmm!�
�Ok, we�ll come and pick you up.�
�Mmmm mmm mm mmm.�
�Ok, see you soon.�
The above was the conversation between Shoe Shopper, who was driving, and Wet Patch, who was sitting in a Dentist�s chair in Orchard, at 5.15. To summarize the conversation, he was saying that he would be finished in 4 minutes and could we pick him up to go to the run. Apparently Wet Patch then did a runner without paying, extracted the pretty, young, dental nurse from his lap after getting his filling and told her he would be back for her root canal treatment next time. On On!
On arriving at 6.04, the Pack was just leaving, so Shopper tried a delaying tactic by parking over a set of chalk arrows that said �On On.� That didn�t really work, as there was only one way to go, and that was the track over the big log into the jungle. So we set off after the pack, and soon got to the front thanks to a T Check. Well, almost to the front, as a few people, including Wet and Wild, went through the T check to take a short cut onto trail. In fact, the GM was actually running and not talking, well, until she fell flat on her face! Forced Entry had forced her way to the front and found that she had a bunch of males puffing hard on her tail. Or they were doing something on her tail. Virginia Slim suggested that she may run faster if he was to give her a kiss. I know it would certainly make me run bloody fast if he gave me a kiss. Some nice trails through the jungle then up and up we went. Forced Entry moved aside to let Big Head take over, and by the look of her, I think mouth to mouth resuscitation may have been more appropriate than a simple kiss.
Anyway, a brutal Circle Check then followed, well it was brutal for those of us who reached it and had to search for trail. When trail was found going through the bush up the hill, I was searching way down in the valley. Bugger. Off up the hill we went, but a group off us went off trail and ended up bush bashing to get back on. This was ok, except a few runners were confused then because there was paper to the left and to the right. Despite the paper to the left going back down where we had just come from, it was still a hell of a battle to convince them to go to the right and further up the hill. If going up was tough, going down again was even tougher, with all sorts of hazards, including wet dead leaves, ready to put us OnOurEar. And there was OnHerEar, looking surprisingly free of cuts, scratches, abrasions, scars, bruises etc. Well done. At this stage I commented on the bit of breeze that was filtering through the jungle. Virginia Slim turned around and said it wasn�t breeze, he farted. So much for the fresh cooling breeze. Down onto the Woodcutters trail, or was it. By this time I had no f**cking idea where we were.
Somewhere along the way there was a Circle check, and it was Shaggy Dick 2 who searched forward and found trail. Calling in his sexiest voice, �Need a woman,� he then stood patiently to await his female savior. But what does he get instead? 3 burly males who came charging at him, knocked him out of the way and continued running on. Being the gentleman that he is, SD2 was very choofed about this, as he always shows total respect for the females, �Especially their boobs and bums,� he said, �Because that is the only reason I come on Wednesday�s. Respect,� he goes on, always respect the bums and boobs, especially those in the tight lycra!� Not too sure what he is actually respecting, but what a nice guy he is to put his life on the line like that for the females. Another male showing respect for females tonight was Slim. Well, for one female in particular. He did not let Forced Entry get more than 6cm in front of him, and he was paying a lot of respect to her bum.
Eventually we came to water, and a bit of a U turn at the end of it. Sneaky Comer calls out from the other side, �It doesn�t matter which way you go, you are going to end up muddy.� So straight across I went, taking OnHerEar and a female visitor with me and yes, we ended up in mud to our knees! However, female visitors male partner decided to follow the trail around a bit further and soon caught up to us, absolutely mud free! Thanks Sneaky Comer.
Some more jungle trails, winding in and out, up and over, zig and zag. Glancing through the trees, I could see beach to my left, which looked like I t offered a much better running surface for a 187cm tall gangly male who has been known to trip over a fallen leaf! So out I go, and yes, this is great. No trips, no obstacles, no��.. Oh shit, a bloody inlet! So do I run back into the jungle and take the trail all the way around it? No, it�s only 50 meters across, swim! So in I plunged, giving my muddy shoes a good clean as well as saving myself 200 metres of running. After wrestling a crocodile � way across, it was back onto beach running and then found that the trail actually came onto the sand for a while. Eventually a voice could be heard in the distance calling out �Too many guilohs!� and there was Boo and Quickie perched on the bank of the reservoir with Champers and cold drinks. Great stuff!
Circle Report:
What did we think of the Run?
No doubt, it was agreed by all that this was a very very good run. (I wonder if they have a copy write on it????)
On On:
On site Mr. Ho, salmon and other yummy stuff. So many stayed for the meal that Mr. Ho was forced to head down to the water�s edge and throw a line in to catch another salmon!
Next week;
Kan Not Can was a bit more vague than usual, but managed to mention something about Sengkang. He confirmed however that it would be on Wednesday and it would be at 6. Stay tuned for further details!
Visitors / Returnees:
S&M, Malfunktion, G String, Machine, Wet Patch, Little Wet Patch, Bagless and a name that looks like Abbing but I wrote it short hand and can�t read my writing. Sorry!
New members: Josh and Simone sign up, more Aussies! �All Australian�s are born�..�
Virgin;
Yep, 3. But one has gone home early to feed her baby. Now wait a minute, virgin with baby? Where have I heard that story before? Sounds a bit familiar�..mmm. Perhaps we�ll have the 3 Wise Men front up next week.
Lipstick:
Obviously those naughty 3 boys who trampled over Shaggy Dick 2 are in, along with Comes Quietly.
The Tits:
Not Good Enough tells us about 1 person who can�t hold their tongue, 1 who can�t hold their drink and 1 who can�t hold their woman. Shaggy Dick 2 has been telling tales all week about him, but it was Too Easy who suggested that the only way to get Octopussy to hold her tongue would be to put a muzzle on her. On the run, Wet Brazillian fell over and instead of helping her and comforting her, Malfunktion stood there and laughed. Can�t hold his women. And Sneaky Comer kicked over a beer after the run, showing that he can�t hold his drink. And so who got the Tits? I can�t bloody remember!
The Dick:
Singaporn, who was away last week, ran the ladies Hash in Brunei � �That�s why we gave you the dick.� calls out someone � was warmly greeted back at tonight�s run, everyone asking how her trip was, how�s your foot etc etc. But one male simply said �Oh, you�re back.� Why so terse and unwelcoming Stiffy? (I think we may hear later!) So take the Dick, and don�t misplace it!!!
Awards;
Nil
AOB?
- Stiffy, as suspected, is straight in with a complaint. As we all know, but it�s worth repeating anyway, Stiffy came in last week and confessed that he had lost the Dick, despite turning the house upside down looking for it all afternoon. It was then pointed out that he had given the Dick away to Singaporn the previous week. So who does he blame for his moment of embarrassment and stupidity? He picks on the softest target possible, the scribe, on the grounds that the person who writes the run report should have remembered writing that Singaporn was awarded the Tits. I only write the stuff though, I don�t actually take any notice of what I write! A point the finger at each other stand off then takes place, which prolonged Stiffy�s moment of memory loss further! I wonder if he will fall for it again next week??
- Wet Pet reminds us that this is a ladies run (how could we forget) and she was not treated very well. First Virginia Slim jumped on her and then Black Member indulged in a rather unbecoming act. Not sure what it was, hope it didn�t involve his member though.
- Sneaky Comer observed all the fussing over T shirt sizes. Shoe Shopper was holding one up for size, it looked about a size 40, and pushing out her chest, declared �I can�t possibly fit into that, I�m way too big. Give the optimist a note. �She�s all right, she�s all right, she�s a little flat ����..�
- Mr. Potato Head revises some of the calls we have on trail � �swing back, need a woman, trip� etc. But tonight we have a new term to add to the book. As Mr. Potato Head, who had not been very kind to SD2 earlier on, ran on after Big Head after breaking a Circle, he was hit in the head by a branch. �Immediately the call from Shaggy Dick 2 was �Instant Comic Retribution.� Basically translated, revenge with a laugh!
- Mr. . PH continues with a �De de de de de de dur� as he puts on his best Norwegian/Swedish voice. Apparently our Scandinavian friends were playing Viking look a likes. Give Hagar a note. �Gurdy gurdy gurdy derd, put de chicken in de pot, dur de dur de dur de dur.
- Boo was suffering from crabs, I mean cramps, and couldn�t stretch out very much when they were setting the run. The plan was to start setting trail 45 steps from the Circle Check, but with cramps in his legs his steps were not going to be very big. This explains why the Circle checks were rather easy too break. They could have used Quickies steps, 45 of her giant strides would have reached at least 25 metres!
- Stiffy calls �Ladies and gentleman,� but no one owns up to being one of these. Undaunted, he goes on any way. He declares, for some reason, that the females on the Hash need to get fitter. He overheard one male on the run who was doing everything possible to encourage a female to improve her level of fitness by asking her �Can I entice you into some sexual activity?� Virginia Slim, we are not sure if that is Forced Entry�s preferred option to get fit.
- Loose Change noticed that Virginia Slim, never one to give up, was paying Goody Bags the guest�s fees for Forced Entry. However, Goody Bags was rather disturbed with where the money was coming from, or more to the point, where it had been. Slim reached down inside his shorts to pull out some loose change, I hope it hadn�t been in his goody bags. Is that what you call dirty money???
On that note, it is�..
�On on on.�
Scribed by Cock Radio