Circle Report - Run 1863

Kannot Kan & Itchybawasan Run
@Snegkang Riverside

The Run.
Two minutes to six and the GM is in her running clothes and sandals. Interesting. The Hare whispers in my ear �Don�t break all the checks,� thus indicating to me that he was using the trail used by Sunday a few weeks ago. Coming to the first Circle Check, I ran forward some 300-400 metres to where we went on the Sunday Run, only to eventually hear an �On back� call in completely the opposite direction to where we went on Sunday. Piece of bullshit number 1! Along the river we headed, weaving in and out the trees until finally the trail headed left into the water. Tiger Lily, being at the front and actually seeing the paper for a change, was about to jump in, when a call of �On on,� came from S&M who had short cutted and ran straight on. No wet Tiger! On we went until we came to a Circle Check. To the right was a rather large river. To the front was a tributary of the rather large river, and to the left was the same tributary of the rather large river. �Check right Stiffy!� Haha. Well, paper could be seen the other side of the tributary to the left, so in we plunged. With a bronzed Aussie life saver on duty, everyone made it safely to the other side. Father Anus was seen pulling his shorts up, was it an attempt to keep them dry? No, pulling his shorts up also pulled other things up, thus he was able to cross without getting his nuts wet. A few of the shorter girls including Tiger Lily, Doubleback and S&M failed to keep their boobs dry, though! Any deeper and it would have been a case of pasteurized as well, but in the words of that famous Benny Hill song, �Ernie, I�ll be happy if it comes up to me chest!� Meanwhile, Singaporn must have decided the water would help the healing process on her recently fractured foot as I didn�t hear her moaning about getting a bit wet for a change. Anyway, Piece of bullshit number 2 had just eventuated, as the Hare had told us no shiggy. Scrambling up the embankment, we headed off on paper to the left, only to find we were meant to be going to the right according to the hair. So back to the left we went, swing your partner and circle to the left, do se do and around you go. Anyway, after getting back on trail, Tiger Lily was promptly off trail again after no more than 5 metres! We made our way along a fence line until we eventually came to a small hole which was just big enough for us to slip through, some more easily than others. Probably just as well Malfunktion wasn�t with us though. A check on the road through the fence saw us looking high and low, with Comes Quietly taking the high approach, thus incurring the wrath of the Hare who told him not once, not twice, but no less then 5 times to get down and keep low. Seems we were in some restricted construction site and Comes Quietly was as conspicuous as dog�s balls in his fluro yellow top! As we had apparently missed a �ten minute loop� before the hole in the fence, the Hare was bemoaning that we would be home in 45 minutes. Piece of bull shit number 3, because as it turned out we were back between 1hour 15 and 1 hour 25!
Anyway, it was then a fast speedway stretch down the road and out of the construction site. Back into the jungle and crossing a little stream via a log and rope. This was followed by a long T Check to the left, which we did break, but never the less Stiffy still did it later because the Hare told him too. Haha, nice one Hare! Then it was through the front door and out the back door of a little jungle shack � �nice doggy.�- and then into some absolute crappy shiggy. Make that Bull shit number 4! Running through the trees parallel to the freeway, we decided trail must follow a big drain underneath to reach the other side, as that was where home was. Thinking safety in numbers, 10 or so of disappeared into the darkness of the tunnel, only to find no sign of trail the other side. This split the pack, as 3 or 4 decided they liked the tunnel so much that they went back through it again. Meanwhile, another group decided to follow the local who seemed to know what he was doing. A few minutes later, still no trail. Mmm, perhaps he doesn�t after all? Let�s try this way. Yes, �on on,� was the call as we discovered what looked like a blob of soggy flour. Up the hill, and there was the light rail. Following trail along where they had been grading, the nice orange soil had turned into a sickly horrible surface of slippery orange goo after 40 minutes of rain. �Stuff this,� was the general consensus after we went off trail again, so down the hill we went and onto solid ground along the footpath to home.

Circle Report:

What did we think of the Run?
Yep, it was good. Well done Hares!

On On:
Kou Fu coffee shop, just around the corner, sort off.

Next week;
Virginia Slim, Lower Pearce Reservoir. New and virgin trails and Japanese thingy things to eat.

Visitors / Returnees:
S&M, Maggot, Forced Entry, Itchybauwersan,

New members: ~


Virgin;
~

Lipstick:
~

The Tits:
Whoever has them is holding onto them, and why not!

The Dick:
Stiffy is talking, so there was a call of keep the dick. However, he has a multitude of candidates. First, Kan Not Can for his piece of bull shit about 10 minutes to home from the gravel pit. Yeah, what about all his other bullshit pieces???? KNC also gets a mention for the wicked 400 metre T check that he made Stiffy do, despite it already having bee broken! Virginia Slim gets a mention for leading Stiffy up a horrible shiggy jungle trail by claiming it was an old Seletar trail. Of course it came to a dead end! Wet Brazillian is mentioned for not living up to her name as she was most reluctant to go in the water that went up to her waist! Dry Brazilian?? �That water is on its way into the reclamation plant,� got a mention, source unknown. Stiffy would rather have known it was water coming out of the water plant. Singaporn is suffering from a bite on the neck from some jungle creature. All the males are made to show their teeth, with Stiffy deciding that it was the scribe�s doing! Ai ya, I�m not a monkey? Anyway, for taking on wild ferocious jungle animals, Singaporn gets the Dick. (Don�t worry Singaporn, Stiffy won�t remember he gave it away again and will walk into the Circle next week saying he�s lost the Dick again! Easy target.)

Birthday Boy ~
Kan Not Can, but where is Kan the Cobra? He sent her to Perth. But thinking he would be all alone, she rang the GM to bake a cake for him. How thoughtful. �He�s the meanest, ���.� Shaggy Dick 2 then came in and gave KNC the Bali version of Happy Birthday. Touching.

Awards;
200 runs (and 450 trips and falls) Cock Radio. Thank you, thank you.

AOB?
  • Stiffy is in doing a Stevie Wonder impersonation. By the way, has anyone seen Stevie Wonder�s dog? No, neither has he. Anyway, there is Stiffy feeling around with his hands and his rod, looking just like a blind person. But seems we have our own �Steffy Wonder,� There was Tiger Lily tonight, no more than 2 metres after we found trail across the water, searching blindly for trail in the wrong direction. Amazing!
  • v Hooray calls in Kan Not Can and Croc Hunter, and points out that these 2 definitely did not originate from the same island, or continent for that matter. Then why is Kan Not Can giving Croc Hunter instructions in Scottish???
  • Wet Brazilian made a comment along the way, �Lucky that hole was there.� What hole was she referring to ?/??
  • Comes Quietly, having revealed that the GM had a pair of running shoes specially delivered to her as she had left hers behind, was most reluctant to go in the water because she didn�t want have to hand them back wet. Should have kept the sandals on.
  • Singaporn is out to destroy a myth. As we are always told, NEVER follow Boo. But tonight she followed Boo when she had lost trail and guess what? Boo got her safely home. Well, apart from the wild jungle creature bite on the neck!
  • However Tiger Lily soon gets Boo back in his rightful place. She followed Boo and ended up stuck in mud. That�s more like it!
  • The GM was asked by Tiger Lily why there was no lipstick tonight. The GM informed her that no one had any and asked if she had some. Tiger Lily said no, she doesn�t use lipstick, only whipped cream. Oh la la!
  • Kan Not Can congratulated Tiger Lily on her Japanese creativity in finding a tiny obscure hole in the fence but was unable to see the paper hanging all over the jungle that was meant to take us on a 10 minute loop before we found the hole in the fence.
  • Loose Change heard that the hole in the fence wasn�t previously a hole in the fence, and suggested that the Hares had taken wire cutters to create a hole in the fence! Just a little snippet of news �
  • Wet Brazillian thought she was back in Middle Earth as she descended into the dark tunnel, following a male bent over double swinging his arm as he made his way through the gloom. Yes, it was Gollum. �Ahhh me precious..� In Cock Radio as the Gollum look a like.
  • This reminds Tiger Lily that she got stuck behind a truck in the return journey through the tunnel. This truck was taking up the whole lane, not allowing anyone to overtake and blocking all light from the other end. Wait, that was no truck, it was maggot. Hope you didn�t get too close to his exhaust Tiger. Maybe if you had handled his gearstick or honked his horn for him he may have upped the pace.
  • Sneaky Comer retells the situation at the gravel pits when we were searching high and low for trail at a check. Comes Quietly, in his Fluro yellow top, checked high but failed to keep a low profile, and was in full view of anyone within a radius of 5kms. For this he was admonished severely by Kan Not Can, before nearly being brought down by a flying rugby tackle. �We don�t want to be seen in here,� explains the Hare. So on we run, following trail which then took us along the road and out of the construction site, using the exit with the security guards hut. I�m sure they didn�t notice 30 oddly dressed runners puffing and panting past their window. On on!
  • Not Tonight has a Hash relic that may be of use to many of our members that are getting on or struggling with their eye sight. It is a pair of Stiffy�s pre war (Boer War I think judging by the looks of them). The bidding starts at $1,000,000 and quickly rises to $2.2 million at which case the auctioneer declares them sold. Unfortunately I couldn�t see that far across the Circle to see who had the winning bid. But even more unfortunate for Stiffy, the bidding was in Zimbabwe dollars, meaning he has just pocketed 25 Singapore cents, less GST.
  • Stiffy charges S&M for short cutting by running ahead, finding trail and calling �On on,� just as Tiger Lily was about to dive into the water in search of trail further back!
  • Stiffy points out that Kan The Cobra buys everything for Kan Not Can. Shirts and pants for work, leisure wear, shoes, headbands, panty hose etc etc. and he wears everything without complaining. What a grateful husband. But has he become a little over dependent on the Cobra? She went away for 2 weeks, and he flew into a panic and asked her �What am I going to wear on Monday? And what about on Tuesday, do I wear the same clothes?� Maybe the GM should go around to Kan Not Can�s each night and lay out his clothes for the next day for him!
  • Tiger Lily has noticed that Virginia is so quiet tonight. Why? He is too occupied with a lady, that�s why! Mmm, how come that doesn�t work with Boo???
  • Cock Radio points out that charges are fun and are taken by the receivee well. But it seems we can over step the mark. Notice no Shoe Shopper tonight, and Shaggy and yours truly arriving by taxi, yet again! Last Friday, shaggy told how Shoe Shopper was lying on her back before the run, huffing and puffing, all red in the face, leg up in the air and having a tug of war with something. �What are you doing?� he inquired. �Trying to get this knee support bandage on, but it�s a bit tight,� was her reply. So Shaggy investigates, and then informs her the reason she is having a bit of trouble. �That�s not a knee bandage, it�s an ankle support.� He calmly informed her. So the message we received this morning from Shopper was �not going to run, you two can find your own way.� Shaggy, I told you she would really crack it one day! Does anyone have a motor bike with double side car for sale that SD2, CR and Royal right Tit can purchase?
  • Maggot is having trouble with the GM�s Kiwi accent, and she is saying �Cun Not Cun,� instead of Kan Not Can, which of course is why he was named, meaning cannot f**ck. Get it right GM
  • Slim reminds us that Kampong runs on the 3rd Saturday of every month, except when they run on the 2nd Saturday of the month, as is the case for March.
  • T Lily has the Japanese Girls Run, (it was last Friday 13th)
  • Stiffy puts in a plug for the Allan Power Memorial Run, Friday March 20th, Dempsey Rd then upstairs at Muddy Murphy�s. Fagsucker was a very popular member of the Harriet�s so come along and support this event. The famous green T shirt has been reproduced and will be available with all donations going to the Singapore Heart Foundation.
  • Kan Not Can promotes the men�s 2500th run and gets all those that haven�t registered to give their excuse. Black Member wins. On that note, it is�..


    • On that note, it is�..

    �On on on.�

    Scribed by Cock Radio



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