Circle Report - Run 1867
The Velcros 6th Wedding Anniversary Run
Loewen Rd
The Run.
Ahh, the smell of freshly cut grass, the sun shining, the birds singing, bees buzzing, the sound of leather on willow as the cricket match unfolds out on the field as we sit in the shade with a cool refreshing ale. Ahhhh, yes, this is the life.
Unfortunately this life was not happening tonight though, and the reality was that the playing fields of the Singapore cricket Club at Loewen Rd were confronted with an assembly of 30 motley specimens of semi human derivatives dressed in an array of ridiculous clothing preparing to bring disgrace to the grace, poise and skills of the sport of running. I tell you, it just wasn�t cricket.
Setting off on paper, the first group of �We want to be prisoners,� soon found themselves fenced inside a compound with no way to escape except to back track all the way out through the hole in the fence that they had crawled through to get in. Should have locked the gate and thrown away the key. Up past the church and onto the grassy field, only to find a T check almost out on Tanglin Rd. This immediately raised suspicion in mind that this run was looking slightly similar to the run I set 3 weeks ago with these Hares at this location. Mmm.
Along a drain between the houses, it was then into a bit of road running. Ahh, there�s the haunted house, I wonder if the run will go through there? On seeing the FRB�s do a U turn at a T check, the answer was yes. So through, or rather around, the Haunted House and out in to Ridley Park. Several T checks along the numerous dead end Ridley Parks had the FRB�s huffing and puffing, until we finally got going with purpose again. A lovely huge house, with an even larger lovely huge lawn and garden proved too tempting for Tiger Lily, so through the open gates she ran, taking a rather easily led Comes Quietly with her! After doing several circuits of the front yard calling �Are you� we decided that we should tell her that she was in someone�s private house and she ought to really come out of there. And bring Comes Quietly with you too before the owners call the police!
After a bit of grassy track running, including a gruelling T check at the top of a hill, it was out onto tarmac and down a hill, only to find another T check. Just what is worse- a Check at the op of a hill or a T check at the bottom of a hill? Whatever, they are both good excuses to call the Hares �Bastards,� or whatever you want to call them.
Some of us at this stage found a gate leading into an old disused running track, so in we went and did a few 800 metre sprints, although I think Boo short cutted and only did a 50 metre run. Anyway, after some more running, we finally ended up at the Queenstown Remand Centre, although Bizzy Bush ended up at the Queenstown MRT station. �All aboard!� After visiting some of his clients in the Remand Centre, Boo decided to rejoin us as we made our way across the grasslands. Meanwhile, a bit further back, Maggot was seen writing graffiti all over the walls of his ex wife�s house. I�m not too sure what it said, but I don�t think it was �Would you like to go for dinner tonight?�
Back to the short cutting bunch, who were now just really doing their warm down after their strenuous track work out, it was across the grasslands, along the path and back into the roads. And there outside a house was the drink stop. Lovely chilled champagne served in fine crystal plastic cups was laid on, but what did S&M ask the Hares for? A glass of plain water! Waters no good for you girl, you know what fish do in it. And even worse, you know what whales do in it. But far worse than that, we know what Virginia Slim does in it. Now get that champagne into you!
After sipping on 5 or 6 glasses of champagne, there was still no sign of the FRB�s so we decided to head for home.
Behind the back of the now obsolete driving range, the Hares managed to get everyone�s shoes disgustingly muddy when we were so close to home! Along the drain and out onto the field for the leisurely stroll to home. Good stuff Hares, well done.
Circle Report:
Lipstick:
There was a flock of men in to receive their punishment, in fact any man who escaped must have been hiding under the beer wagon!! Kamala made a welcome return to giving it to the men, bearing her stomach and shouting with glee at all the male bodies available to her! Welcome back, but what was that lipstick, I still can�t remove it from my stomach 6 days later!!
The Dick:
Wet and Wild gave the Dick out to Slowcum for his absolute lack of respect for female knowledge of cars. (I didn�t know that females had any knowledge of cars, except it�s what they use to transport their drunken husbands home after the Hash.) Anyway, it was suggested to Slowcum by a female (either Jack Off or Wet and Wild) that if he continued to play music on the cars stereo in the Car park, there was a chance that the car battery could go flat. �Don�t be f**king ridiculous, of course it won�t make the battery go flat� was Slowcum's reply, �What do girls know about cars anyway?� Later on, Slowcum was calling out �Does anyone have a set of jumper leads?� And how about a slice of humble pie? Have the Dick instead! Armless was dragged in on this charge too, would a German car get a flat battery?
The Tits:
Shoe Shopper was a bit peeved when she commented to Stiffy �Nice Tits!� but Stiffy did not return the compliment to her. Stiffy went on to give the Tit�s to Slowcum for setting a run that was rather similar (read �IDENTICAL�) to the one they set here recently for Friday. A slanging match ensued involving lack of knowledge about cars, women, sex, football teams, politics and whatever. This means that according to this report, Slowcum ended up with Tits and Dick. Not sure how accurate this is, guess we will find out on Wednesday.
AOB ?
- Sneaky Comer told us how Slowcum strategically had placed the drink stop outside someone�s house. When the owner came out to investigate what was going on, Slowcum cunningly kept him pacified and on side by offering him several glasses (well, plastic cups) of champagne which went down very well. However, his wife who was observing all this from inside, thought the hospitality was too one sided, so she came out with 2 cans of Tiger for Slowcum. Was this a rather poor exchange move by Slowcum, champagne for Tiger?
- Tiger Lily reckons that Shaggy Dick 2 is getting too competitive, taking special Goo supplement before the run to make him run faster. Having extracted 90% it, he then turned to Tiger Lily and offered her the last drops of his Goo. While there was sense in offering her only a little bit, because as we know, Tiger Lily does not r5eally need any supplement to make her run faster! However, Tiger Lily would much rather have had first suck at Shaggy�s Goo rather than be left with the last dribbles!
- Normally, Shaggy gets his Goo out in the back seat of the car on the way to the run. As I am normally sitting in the back with him, it is on more than one occasion that I have had his Goo dribbled over my leg. One time, some of his Goo actually landed on the back of Shoe Shopper�s head as she was driving, and Shopper certainly does not need that sort of distraction when she is driving! In fact the back seat of the car is becoming rather stained from Shaggy�s Goo dribbles. Once when he had the window down, he actually spurted some of his Goo onto a girl walking along the footpath. Amazing.
- Virginia Slim and Bizzy Bush decided to give themselves and onlookers a thrill by deciding to climb the fence at the end instead of walking around it. S&M had done the same thing earlier, showing that she�s not bad at getting her leg over either.
- Shaggy Dick 2 & CR decided to check out the Harriet�s web site. Mmm, there was Tiger Lily�s November Run at Bukit Gombak still announced as this weeks run. So we have had 15 visitors turning up at Bukit Gombak every Wednesday for the last 4 months waiting to have a run! At least they have been well fed, Mr. Ho keeps turning up as well and serving salmon, beef and creamy potatoes. But wait, there�s more! In the �Notice� section, there was an important message to pay your subs � for July, August September!! Would that be for this year in advance or last year? Or the year before?? And so Jack Off takes a drink for mismanagement. But seriously, if anyone wants a bit of fun, go to the website, you can spend hours trying to click on the links as they rotate around your screen. My best score is 4 hits in 30 mins.
- Slowcum, after 6 years of marriage, announces that Jack Off is the best wife in the world.
- Stiff added to this by explaining why Slowcum has a smile on his face. Slowcum explained to him that after 6 years, Blow Jobs are still on the menu and served regularly. No more detail please, we have had enough Goo charges tonight!
- There were possibly a few other charges for the night, and some of what is written here may be slightly less accurate than normal, but, who cares! Run the f**king Hash!
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