Circle Report #1873
The �Dead End� Run
Jalan Mashur
Right Royal Tit, Shaggy Dick 2
The Run.
Originally, this run was going to be from the new car park at Mc Ritchie, but that site came to a dead end. A last minute change of venue saw a scurry of emails and msg�s flow across Singapore, resulting in 42 runners making it to this new site. And isn�t great to run from a new location, a lovely serene spot, apart from the generators and continuous flow of trucks full of foreign workers, on the edge of Bukit Brown Cemetery. Croc Hunter even told me there were crocodiles in the stream (drain really, but stream sounds more tranquil) running next to us. He could have been pulling my leg though, but who would argue with a Croc Hunter?
The GM calls �Gather round� at 5.57 and we then do 3 minute silence, because we all know what time a 6 o�clock run starts, don�t we. Along the bubbling stream (acids, paint strippers and industrial strength detergent tends to do this to water) we went, and it wasn�t long before Black Member was scaring the pants off Lethal Weapon with his snake. The Hares told us flour, chalk and paper was used for marking trail but failed to mention anything about black snakes. On on.
Further up the bubbling stream, the source of the �bubbling� was located as we negotiated a series of illegal PVC pipes emptying their loads of nastiness from the adjoining building sites. This didn�t stop Boo from jumping in and wading through a section, thus rendering his legs below the knees hairless. Octopussy was more cautious and sort help to cross from one side to the other without subjecting her shoes or skin to the perils of the bubbles. This she managed, even if it did take 8 minutes to span the 0.75 metre width.
Soon we were into the area we had all been dying to reach, Bukit Browne Cemetery. Boo yells, 'too many gui lohs,' the reply is 'too many Chinamen, but they are all dead.' Through the graves and out onto a track, we see in the distance an apparition standing by the road in running gear. Wait minute, that�s not a ghost, it�s Tarnished Image!
Some nice trail running with a few dead ends thrown in led us out onto Lornie Rd. �I�m not going out there, it�s too noisy,� said Shoe Shopper. She goes back into the bush but is forced onto Lornie Rd eventually, because that�s where trail went. But it was soon back into the cemetery and of course, another dead end. Treading carefully, well, sort of, amongst the graves, we eventually meet up with the walkers, who have also hit a dead end.
On we forge, out onto Lornie Rd again, and then off course back into the cemetery for more dead ends. A police car at the end of a track is handy to keep the marauding dogs off us. But wait, Mr. Plod is examining the paper that is scattered down the track, and looks very suspiciously at Shaggy Dick 2 who runs past with a toilet roll in hand. �Bad stomach ache officer,� explains SD2. More seriously grave running eventually got us home, with a strategic short cut split near the end. Everyone back in around the hour, we all relaxed with a cool drink by the bubbling stream. Well done Hares.
Circle Report:
What did we think of the run?
A bit dead at times, but otherwise a very good run. Loved the serenity. Well, apart from Lornie Rd.
Are we eating?
The Long House, up Thompson Rd a tad, a la carte.
Next week:
Faber Park over on the West Coast (not Mt Faber). Father Anus and a bevy of virgins.
Virgins:
Yep, 1 sacrifice tonight.
Visitors and Returnees:
10 altogether, including 1 virgin and Tarnished Image. Tarnished Image should not be confused with the virgin, but by the end of the run the virgin�s image was tarnished. Stiffy was then charged by the GM for non stop verbal pollution.
Lipstick:
Shiggy Piggy for a blatant abuse that was indefensible, and yours truly at the finish for a rush of blood and touch of Alzheimer�s.
The Dick:
AWOL. I think Twin Towers still has her hands on it?
The Tits:
Also AWOL, no idea who has their hands on the Tits, but half their luck.
Awards:
Nah.
The GM revives the Whinger�s Award, and in comes Sneaky Comer, who when given a free bottle of Gin by a friend then complains that it could have been a superior brand. Don�t be so fussy, after all you did marry a Kiwi!
There is an announcement that the attendance card system will come into operation next week, check your own card. I wonder if this system will last longer than the �going Green� reusable cups for the down downs?
Hares are needed for July 1, Canadian Day. So if you are Canadian, or have slept with a Canadian, or shagged a moose, or done weird things with maple syrup, see Dances With Kerbs. We promise not to disclose which category you qualify for. Trust me.
AOB ?
- Handbag was lucky to make it to the run tonight. What, with the last minute change of address, he then discovered that the new address was not even on the map that was supplied to him by none other than the GM. Let�s tell him next week�s run is in Johor, that should lose him.
- Wet Pet, as an experienced Hasher, is familiar with all sorts of checks, markings and calls used in Hashing. But this was the first time she had ever come across an �Oops� marking. So, oops, in you come Hares and explain that one.
- Cock Radio poses the question to the circle, �what is the first thing you do when are a Hare?� Yes, correct, pick a run site that can accommodate the Beer Wagon. Fancy having to change sites at the last minute because the beer truck wouldn�t fit!
- Sneaky Comer claims that just because the original site was at MacRitchie, didn�t actually mean that we were going to go into MacRitchie. However, that didn�t stop Comes Quietly from crossing over Lornie Road and running up the other side despite the fact that the rest of the pack was following trail on the Cemetery side!
- Tiger Lily charges the Hares for the change of run site, which resulted in her getting sms messages all day from a worried Hare.
- The Hares then charge the Committee, because they actually sent an email to the Committee about the site change on Sunday.
- Wet Pet heard Josh saying that he had come 8 times, (but closed her ears to the rest of the sentence, which was the number of times he had run the Hash.) Wet Pet reckons anyone that can come 8 times is pretty good, and so Josh will now forever be known as �Lucky Comer.�
- Shaggy Dick 2 calls in the Smith Family � Stiff, Stiffler and Fiona. Mmm, spot the odd name? It seems there can only be one Hash name for Fiona, and she will now forever be known as � Stiffener.�
- Stiffy recalls how he received Octopussy�s Hash Bag the other week, remember, the one with her keys in it, amongst other relics. The next day he got a call from a frantic Octopussy, �Do you still have the bag?�
No replies Stiffy, I gave it to a young Hasher in need of a bag.
�Oh no� exclaims Octopussy,� It�s got Wet Pets phone in it.� We�ve been ringing and ringing it hoping someone would hear and answer so they can return it.�
Meanwhile at Wet Brazillian�s house the next morning, the children greet her with �Hey mum, that new bag you brought home has been ringing all night.� - Lethal Weapon has an unfulfilled promise to Octopussy which resulted from her little error of mistaking the lift at Handbag�s condo for his kitchen. The stainless steel look I guess, could trick anyone, and so compact, where do they keep the kitchen sink? Anyway, Octopussy receives the spectacles from Lethal Weapon as promised.
- Tiger Lily charges Lethal Weapon for impersonating Knobby Boy Scout by leaving her towel at home and having to borrow one.
- Zipp thanks the Hares for the run, such a lovely peaceful area. But her serenity was spoilt by droning of Wet Pet and Octopussy who talked the whole way round. �How�s the serenity luv?�
- Kan Not Can tells us that Judith was a reluctant virgin and did not want to come tonight as she had no shoes, she lost them last week and hadn�t been shoe shopping yet. But she borrows a pair from Kan the Cobra, which is rather amazing as Kan the Cobra only takes a size 2 1/2 . Did Judith go for the ancient feet binding?
- Speaking of shoes, Sneaky Comer realizes the absence of F**ck me Shoes as formerly worn by GM�s
- Seamen Stains, finding time between cigarettes, then decides to see how many of the Harriet�s he can upset by singing a rather bawdy little number to the tune of �I love to go a wandering.� This turned out to be very successful as he certainly did raise the hackles on a few of the ladies!! Now go back and have another fag!!
- But before you have another fag, get back in the Circle because Wet Pet wants your blood, I�m pretty sure you are the �F**cker� she is referring to about crude songs and cigarettes.
On on on to The Longhouse
Cock Radio