Circle Report #1874
The �Turbo Charged Anus� Run.
Faber Park
Turbo & Father Anus.
The Run.
Ahh, the serenity of a local neighborhood park. Beautiful, tranquil, serene. All destroyed by 5.55pm last Wednesday as an ugly bunch of Harriet�s turned up to have their regular dose of mayhem. Off we ran, and immediate confusion. Top of the first hill is an arrow pointing the opposite way to the previous arrow, which was only 5 metres back. No probs, we sorted that one out quickly, sort of. But the pack was split into 3 by this touch of confusion, and it wasn�t long before the 3 packs collided head on at a corner. �The last mark said next turn left� said Shaggy Dick 2. �Well that�s what our last mark said too,� I replied picking myself up off the ground. Finally we find a laughing Hare, who reveals we had just done some sort of mysterious loop and directs us out of the maze.
Down to the canal connector path for the real run and to join the locals enjoying their evening run. �Push the locals aside,� was the call from Boo. Across the canal at one of those major roads in the area, I had no f**cking idea where we were, and through the do not enter tape. Of course it was on back onto the old old railway line. Suzanne, with much assistance, took us across the overhead bridge to the other side, and with no assistance at all called �careful, hole,� as she jumped a perilous crater in the track. However, the hole was thoughtfully marked clearly by the Hares with a T check before it so no one would fall in and require a helicopter evacuation from it. This did not deter Suzanne, as she leaped the canyon in a single bound and ran off into the distant minefield. The rest of us decided to heed the T check and retrace our steps across the overhead to the old train track.
Behind the houses, no room for passing along the narrow path, unless we �Push the Chinamen aside,� but Boo was having none of that. Eventually we hit the canal, and a T check at the Buddhist Temple. Of course it was along the canal, but that didn�t stop me crossing the big bridge to the other side of the canal. Using my cunning knowledge, I stayed the opposite side to the rest of the pack and was eventually rewarded as the pack had to cross on the old old railway track. And there I was below looking up, how come none of the girls wear a skirt or dress on the run?? Aww, schucks!
Along the old old railway line, oh no, not the nasty tunnel! Nope, it was exit before the nasty tunnel by taking the nasty embankment to the right. Apparently, the Singaporean women�s climbing team that conquered Everest the other week, used this as a training camp... Pass the oxygen will you.
Back though Sunset Way area, across the canal another time. (For some people, Boo had decided to eliminate the last part of the run when he got to the old bridge at 6.45 and decided it was time to find his good wife and have a Quickie back! Sensible as it turned out.) Reaching the canal connector path, things were tough, as the markings, which were laid by motor bike, or push bike at best, were approximately 1.35kms apart. The Hare, in her defence, did take pity on the delirious runners by writing �On home,� on the path to spark their survival spirits. She failed to mention that it was still another 7.75 kms to home along the canal, not that it worried her because she immediately snuck off to the left and short cutted the 500 metres to home! Nice one!
Circle Report: The GM is wearing new F**ck Me Shoes after a request the other week.
Where are the Hares?? Still showering.
Are we eating?
At Turbo�s, Chilli Con Carne. Great, just what you need on a Turbo Charged Anus Run, that should really set things in motion!!
Next week:
Lorong Sesuai, top of the hill. Shoe Shopper Birthday Run. By coming in to tell us about her run, she immediately lost her seat to Stiffy. Bit like musical chairs really!
Virgins:
Not tonight.
Visitors and Returnees:
Spiker, King Lear, Phoney Dick, Fat Crashing Bastard (Where�s the chocolates???) Judith and others, but not many.
Lipstick:
I don�t think there was any.
The Dick:
AWOL. I think Twin Towers still has her hands on it?
The Tits:
Not Good Enough overheard Fat Crashing Bastard telling his wife that he was a bit stiff. He then also heard that Too Easy came with him tonight. Say no more, well they haven�t seen each other for a while �..
Octopussy and Mitch are both leaving Singapore. The rumour is that they are running away together. But that can�t be so, because Octopussy has never run in her life.
Not Good Enough managed to be in front of Shoe Shopper 6 or 7 times tonight. This either means that he is a trained athlete or she is a running flop. Mmm, I will let you be the judge of that one!
And after all that, I forget who actually got the Tits!
The Hares finally arrive at this stage. What did we think of the run? A tad short, good run for a marathon warm up. Good run, well done.
AOB ?
- Turbo heard Suzanna talking to FCB about a well known Singaporean Street way out in the West � �Boon Get Laid Way.� You may have trouble finding it in the street directory though. Oh Suzanna!
- Fat Crashing Bastard was reminded by the old railway line tracks today that Octopussy�s favourite wine is Banrock Station. While we didn�t run past that station tonight, FCB still managed to find a bottle and presented it to Octopussy. That will stop her shouting out in the supermarket �all those other wines are too expensive, get the Banrock Station.�
- Shaggy Dick 2 gets the Hares in. There he was following an arrow this way, then 5 meters on their was an arrow going that way and the pack ended up going in 3 different directions, only to eventually to all round the same corner at once and run into each other. �Oh Stanley,� is the moan from Turbo.
- Wet Pet calls in Not Good Enough for being heard to comment �This is the most intelligent Hash I have ever done!� Not sure if it was a compliment or what.
- Sneaky Comer had a confused charge on the Hares, but I confused myself when writing it down so not too sure what it was. Involves confusion on the part of the Hares however, so hope that sort of clears up that confusion.
- Cock Radio can�t resist sinking the boots into the Hares a bit more. There we were, slogging it out along the canal towards the end of this marathon run. To spur us on, Turbo thoughtfully wrote �On Home,� thus giving us hope that we would soon be sipping on a long cold drink. Well on we ran, and ran, and ran, still no sign of Home. And where was Turbo? She had slipped off to the left and short cutted through the streets to be back 10 minutes before us!
- And by the way Turbo, is that your FULL Hash name? We believe you may be withholding the second half of your official Hash name from us. (For those of us that believe we know the second part of her name, put it all together and next to Father Anus � a rather amusing pair of names for Hares!!!)
- Obviously Suzanna has left her self wide open (not physically of course, although this nearly changed in a few minutes time!) for a naming, and using the scribe as a mat, is named as �Get Laid.� And the way she was sitting on me, there was a fair chance she would have if she stayed there a few more minutes!
- Turbo get�s stuck into her co hare, and accuses Father Anus of making her set all the checks. Well done Father Anus, after all it is the ladies Hash.
- Hand Bag is very eager to come in, and we soon see why as he surrounds himself with all the female teachers. What will they teach him? Handbag thoughtfully suggests that if any of them find themselves in need of a new job, that they apply at the Eager Beaver School House down the road. Nothing like having an eager beaver to teach you a few tricks.
- Too Easy heard Fat Crashing Bastard telling Get Laid that he was in Holland on a regular basis. (Who is Holland???) �So do you speak Dutch?� she asked him. No, but it seems that he has been going to Get Laid Way for cheap lessons. Perhaps that�s where Holland lives?
- Not Tonight has heard that we should be on the look out for Kiwis spending lavish amounts of money after a couple fled New Zealand with 10 million dollars that was mistakenly placed into their bank account. Detective Hobman has noticed our Kiwi GM wearing new shoes, with diamonds on them!! Well done Sherlock, GM, you�re nicked!
- Loose Change feels like we have a bit of a train station theme going tonight for Octopussy. The rotunda is octagonal shaped, we have Octopussy, we have Banrock Station. �And she is an Octogenarian,� called the scribe, who is immediately belted across the ear and given a down down. Ouch!
- Mother Tongue charges Octopussy, it had something to do with her handling male members in a perfect way. Sounds like a handy charge, that will do anyway in the absence of an interpreter!
- Mitch comes in for a tearful farewell speech, and tells us that the Hash has been terrific. Terrific? We must be doing something wrong! An appropriate Hash leaving song is then very quietly sung and hummed, although I couldn�t tell if Mother Tongue was singing or humming.
- Kan Not Can is somehow let into the Circle. Apparently he noticed Octopussy about to sit down on a set of keys, but he came to the rescue by pulling them away before they disappeared into�. When KNC pointed out to her what had nearly happened, Octopussy thought it was his memory stick. Just don�t get out your hard drive KNC.
- Spiker from the Thursday Hash informs us of their 300 Celebration run, Yeo building, last Saturday. He also told us we are a very fun group.
On on on to Turbo�s anal charging chilli con carne.
Cock Radio