Circle Report #1888
2nd September 2009Blackmore Drive
Wet Brazilian
The Run
6pm and No sign of the Hares but the GM is confident on where the run starts and sends us off down to Bukit Timah Rd. Still no sign of a marking so off to the left I go along Bukit Timah, heading to the railway track when I hear a call from on over the pedestrian Bridge. ‘ No F**king way,’ I thought, ‘that is always a T Check, I’m not falling for that trick.’ So I continued along Bukit Timah, one eye open for trail, the other looking back to see when the pack was returning over the bridge. Being unable to multi task, this maneuver resulted in me colliding with 3 pedestrians and a bus stop. So I stopped and waited for everyone to come back. And waited. And waited. But the pack did not come back. Ok, so it wasn’t the normal F**king T check over the pedestrian bridge.
Not to be outdone, I made my own way to Rifle Range Rd and Mayfair Park, confident that I would cut across trail eventually. No trail. Ok, up Rifle Range to the Durian Trail. No trail. Umm, ok, if they are not coming in this direction, they must be heading the other way towards Turf City. A mad dash back down to Bukit Timah Rd and a furious sprint to the Red Lantern to look for trail up Old Holland Rd. No trail. Mmm, is it too early to pop into the Red Lantern for a bite to eat? Yes, too early. There must be trail up here somewhere, so up Old Holland Rd I went. And went. And went. No trail. Ah, the canal and up to the Malaysian Railway, there will be trail there for sure. No trail. Well time to head home anyway, so along the railway I ran alone, enjoying the serenity and thinking I must be really of course as I haven’t seen Boo or Hooray. Finally I see Stiff and a sailor coming the other way along the railway track and at last I see my first trail marking for the night. Yes, what perseverance. It doesn’t matter that it was paper going up the hill to the railway workers huts only 200 meters from home. It was paper. You bloody little ripper mate, I knew if I stuck at it long enough I would find trail, and I did! The fact that it took 50 minutes to find my first mark is irrelevant. This story is all about good old G&T – Guts and Determination!!
Well, that’s basically were the run didn’t go. Now for where it went, sort off. The top of Mayfair Park was reached eventually after some road running, with all those wearing their heavy duty shiggy shoes cursing. Along the edge of the Pie, sniffing in the petrol fumes until Jalan Cantek was reached. Through the Durian Trail and out onto Rifle Range Rd. Now hang on, there was no sign of any trail here 30 minutes previously when I was searching up there. No, the Hares hadn’t marked it yet, they were still marking trail while we were running. Short run to the left, long run to the right. A T check next to a Circle Check caused some confusion, to put it mildly, on the long run, but luckily the Hares were on hand to point runners in the correct direction. And what were the Hares still doing out there? Rumour has it that they got lost setting the trail. And what was the correct direction? The Hares didn’t actually know, so it was back down Rifle Range, back across Bukit Timah Rd along the Malaysian train line and up to the workers huts to home. Well done everyone.
The Circle
The GM decides to hold the Circle out on the road, letting us take our chances with the traffic rather than the nest of red ants on the grass. Virginia Slim very generously lends me his very nice pen and mutters something about he probably never will see it again!
So what did we think of the run? Too short, too much marking, and despite the Circle / T Check stuff up, a Good Run is awarded, and who am I too argue! But are we being too nice? – surely the Hares getting lost setting trail, being caught by the pack and not knowing where the run was meant to go should have raised a few eyebrows!!!
Next week: Virginia Slim has kindly stepped in at the last moment to set a run at Tagore ROAD. There will be left over champers. Good run, good run!
A lull then ensued as the GM was off talking and had to be summoned in to resume control.
Virgins: Daniel.
Visitors: A shipload of Aussie seamen from the RAN Supply. Bagless 2, Malfunktion. Returnees: Fat Crashing Bastard and Bagless 2 , who comes in again.
Lippy: Stiff and a crew of sailors ended the run 10 minutes before everyone else and cop the treatment for their effort.
The Dick: The GM asks Kan Not Can who dresses him, his mum? But she was not there today to pack his running bag obviously as he turned up with a running singlet that would look very nice on a Bangkok Lady Boy. Give the Kaitoi a note.
The Tits: Stiffy calls yours truly in for something that I didn’t hear as the Motor Cross Hash rode past. Stiff is also a candidate for finishing the run in 28 minutes. And Fat Crashing Bastard for procuring women and giving a young girl a ride. There was also a little segment then involving nipple cover biscuits.
AOB:
· Wet Brazilian attempts to explain her slip up in placing a T Check next to a Circle Check by claiming that a Chinaman was picking up her paper on trail. ‘ What trail?’ was the response from the crowd. Not sure who wore this charge, let’s say it was Boo as a Chinaman.
· Fat Crashing Bastard brings up a discussion about length. Not Tonight made a statement at the start about thinking it was going to be short. But as we know, a woman’s perception of length can be dubious. It’s not the length that matters but what you do with it!
· Wet Pet calls in FCB for telling the girls that he had big balls. These actually turned out to be scrunched up paper. Give paper balls a note!
· FCB calls in Shoe Shopper, a bevy of females, plus Slim and Shaggy Dick 2 as the contestants in the Sexiest Hips competition. And the winner is SD2! Apparently Stiffy was the chief judge. What taste he has, and SD2 puts his hands on his hips and does a sexy little parade. Cute. However SD2 was rather worried about the looks he was getting from some of the sailors!
· Cock Radio calls SD2 back in for casting doubt on the sexuality of the Aussie sailors. It was only recently that a betting ring was exposed on board this ship, involving a scale of points awarded to their shagging exploits. A female officer was worth big points and so on and so on. A shag on the pool table was worth bonus points. No doubt about the sexual preferences of the sailors on this Aussie ship!
· Kan Not Can charges Boo for continuously calling ‘Speak English.’ KNC conducts a Kangaroo Court and tells Boo to only speak when he is spoken to and to sentence himself to a charge. Court adjourned.
· Boo remains and calls in a sailor.
Boo – ‘You are from a boat?’
Sailor – ‘ From a ship, not a boat. Royal Australian Navy.’
Boo – ‘Yes or no answers only.’
Sailor – ‘Yes.’
Boo – ‘You are a sailor?’
Sailor – ‘Yes.’
Boo- ‘You are a seaman?’
Sailor – ‘Yes.’
Boo –‘Thank you.’
Boo then calls in a female sailor.
Boo – ‘You are from a boat?’
Female Sailor – ‘ From a ship, not a boat. Royal Australian Navy.’
Boo – ‘Yes or no answers only.’
Female Sailor – ‘Yes.’
Boo – ‘You are a sailor?’
Female Sailor – ‘Yes.’
Boo- ‘You are a seaman?’
Female Sailor – ‘Yes.’
Boo –‘I am confused’
One of these days Boo will become unconfused about this!
· Not Tonight informs us that not only is Sybil faster than a speeding bullet, but she has the capability to stop a train. On the railway bridge over Bukit Timah Rd she was pressed hard against the rail but the train driver decided there still wasn’t enough clearance to get past. KNC was also mentioned in this charge – it might have been something about the train speeding up when the driver saw him!
· An award to SD2 for 150 runs, well done lad. He still was hesitant to take his shirt off in front of the sailors, perhaps he thought there were double points for shagging a Pommy on the side of a road in Singapore?
· Slim, who has been busy all night signing up people all night for The Kampong Hash 10 year celebration, then makes an announcement about it just in case he has missed anyone. There will be a Goody Bag for everyone. Oh, nice! · Also the Chennai Hash run in KL – names to Slim if interested.
And on that note, it is On on on on to the Red Lantern.
Scribed by Cock Radio.