Circle Report #1889
9th September 2009Tagore ROAD
Virginia Slim
The Run
Virginia Slim saves the day again!! This guy is an absolute legend; well at least in his own pocket and lifetime! No, seriously, I am going to sing this guy’s praises. Once again at short notice Slim has stepped in and set a run. He does it all the time, and the run is always full of quality, not to mention shiggy and champagne. The bloody Scots spend 6 months meeting and planning the St Andrews Day Run and they still stuff it up. We Aussies only need short notice to stuff up a run. He is the sort of person you love to have around a club, no whinging, no fuss and always willing to lend a hand. And if he uses this praise as an excuse to give me a cuddle and kiss at the next circle I will be annoyed, but not as annoyed if he tries to drop his dacks and bend me over!! Here’s to Slim, he’s an absolute trooper. Crikey, I can’t believe I wrote that.
Enough nice stuff, let’s get to the run! Smallish crowd, but as Boo, The Could Have Been a Good Lawyer says, it’s not about size but quality. And that’s why he married the lovely Quickie! And this assembled pack was all about quality too, no doubt. Legendary names such as Father Anus, Too Easy, Not Good Enough, Jack Off, Jack Off, Shoe Shopper, Wet N Wild, Singaporn, Fat Crashing Bastard, Stiff and his Stiffener, Penile Extension, Sneaky Comer, Lethal Weapon, Maggot (I Think I Can Run and Still Be Home Before My Wife,) Comes Quietly, Zipp (How Long Do We Have till Gyspy Arrives?) Dances With Kerbs, Britney Kamala Spears, and of course poor old Slowcum, who after having his 8pm tablet for his little investigative surgery the next day was anything but slow and was last seen urging Jack Off to get him home to the toilet quicker than Nicky Lauda could.
Hey, the Harriet’s on Wednesday in Singaporn is the place to be, 3 cheers for the Harriets!
No, seriously, this run deserves a mention. Through the fence was the call. And anyone less than a Singapore gal size 6 with A cup boobs was going to be challenged getting through the gap. Luckily Maggot was on hand and barged onwards, creating a hole in the fence that you could steer a Container Ship through. Ingenious Aussie engineering. Beautiful! Boo was still worried if his Almost Could Have Been a Good Lawyer frame could fit through the hole so he did a normal short cut around the backside.
Anyway, the hole in the fence strung the pack out a little along the jungle trail, and despite there being just a few of us through the gap and way ahead of everyone else, it did not stop Maggot pushing Shoe Shopper aside and taking the lead. My theory is that, as not a regular Wednesday runner, after 2 minutes behind Shoe Shopper watching her bum, he was overcome with lust and forged ahead on a testosterone overdose. A bit of lippy later on should calm him down.
Well, some nice up and down stuff through the jungle, even a few places that required the females to get a helping hand, especially from behind by a few enthusiastic males. Eventually out of the jungle for a Circle and we went high and low searching. Well, not everyone went searching. Our new female, the I Can Run gal decided to park herself in the Circle Check and not budge. I asked her to join me up in the bushes to search for trail, but she was having none of that! Eventually Maggot called as he had some inside information and on we went, till we reached a big drain, and it was Maggot again who led the way. I stuck behind the I Can Run new female gal, because I could, and also because she has a nice bum! On on!
Well, after 20 mins of bushing, it was back out onto Tagore Rd to find the Hare directing us across Upper Thompson. Back into the jungle we went for some great trails. Stiff rooted around like a wild boar while Stiffy was just a plain bore as normal. Dances With Kerbs, Kamala and Zipp were seen coming back from a jungle trail and of course we didn’t think that they had short cutted and found a T check before us. A Circle Check in the middle of the jungle was broken by a local Kampong Farmer who told Sneaky Comer and I which way to go. While the rest of the pack searched and searched, having found trailed we stayed quiet. Sneaky used the time to have a pee and I extracted a thorn from my foot! Having done that, and being well rested, we decided it was time to call on! Well well well, there was a big hole in the ground, dogs, more jungle, until we emerged back on Upper Thompson for a sprint to home down Tagore Rd, but not before stopping at the drink stop. Back in 65 mins plus drink stop means well done Hare!
What did we think of that? Bloody Good Run was about all I heard and so it was.
Tell us about your on on mate. Some serious solid dishes, 2nd street on right. $10 and beers.
Well what about next week? That will be Black Memb´®(how the F*ck did I do that? I am not deleting, I am impressed lah!) Black Member and Right Royal Tit, or Royal Right Tit! Lower Pierce, the usual Car Park off Thompson.
Virgins, visitors and returnees.: Penile Extension, Maggot, Stiff , Stiffener. And probably others.
Lippy– No doubt Maggot has some explaining to do to his wife when he gets home with lipstick all over his face!.
The Dick – Gypsy slinks in as a Sleazy Dick! Good timing mate!
The Tits – Didn’t see any tonight.
Awards- 100 Runs – Lethal Weapon – Off Off off is the loud call from many excited males, and a few enthusiastic females! Does she show us her lethal weapons? NO! Ai ya lah!
AOB –
· Hooray is never slow to miss a dig. The ladies had a brunch the other Sunday and he questioned if they had value for money. Besides missing valuable free flow drinking time, they also were overcharged on their promised discount package. They ended up paying more than regular price and had less hours! But did they mind? No, because the Italian waiter serving them rip offs was cute! Say no more lah!
· Was there an earthquake tonight? One Hasher was nearly cleaned up by a falling coconut dislodged from a tree. ‘No, too heavy,’ said the Kampong farmer, referring to Sneaky Comer and Maggot plodding through the jungle. Apparently the pair of them sent enough vibrations through the Earth to dislodge a coconut from a tree, missing Sneaky’s head by a metre! Beware those Sneaky coconuts Sneaky, especially with Maggot pounding the Earth behind you! What a pair of kosong kepala kelapa.
· Sneaky knows why Kan Not Can was late – he has been visiting a lawyer. Why? Some legal case about photography on the Hash.
· CR charges Slim for not informing the Pack that besides flour and chalk, the Run was also set on empty cans of Anchor.
· Dances With Kerbs gets Shoe Shopper in for being lost and confused, which is nothing too new really. But we must not let her get away with it! Somewhere in the charge was a Slim impulse.
· Shoe Shopper has been holding this one back. On the run, need a woman was called and as Shopper made a dash to the front, pushing all aside, Zipp was heard to ask ‘Is she really a woman?’ Oh my Buddha!
· Penile Extension watched CR applying mossie repellant before the run. Not only was it sprayed on his arms and legs but into his hair as well. Some sort of styling spray as well? Slim and Kan Not Kan then burst into a little ditty for CR about spraying his hair.
· CR charges Stiff for his slow motion action imitation of a wild boar rooting in the dirt. As he tripped going down a hill, he fell forward, desperately trying to hold his footing. As he got closer and closer to the ground, his nose made a touch down similar to a jumbo Jet landing until he finally hit the deck, sort of like an Indonesian Jumbo jet I guess. A belated call of ‘Trip,’ was heard faintly over the roars of laughter coming from the runners behind him.
· The GM was worried at this stage that the Circle would stagnate with such low numbers, but the quality shone through and kept going.
· Dances With Kerbs saw Shoe Shopper lost and confused on the run (you should see her on the way to the run!) Slim was implicated in the charge somehow as well.
· CR produced the attendance sheet and showed that only one person had ticked their name off, and that was CR.
· Kamala Spears dances in and demonstrates how CR pushed her aside on a jungle trail.
· Sneaky Comer tells how some girls reached the drink stop in 20 minutes and that was as far as they got, the champagne taking a strong liking to them! One of the girls became a bit guilty about putting in only 20 minutes of exercise before hitting the turps, so after a couple of glasses she decided to go for a power walk around the block. Only trouble was she got lost and couldn’t find her way back to the drink stop. Well down Wet and Wild, it was nearly Dry and Angry for you huh!
· Not Tonight calls in Singaporn as a French representative and shakes her hand! That is not how the French greet each other, what’s going on here? It seems that the French Government has brought in a ban on kissing as a form of greeting. Oh la la, that just is so unfair.
· Sneaky Comer comments that the main reason for such a small turn out – ‘1 member only according to the attendance list’ calls out CR – is the number of teacher /parent meetings going on tonight. But ISS got around this by having their meeting on the run and inviting Maggot along as a parent.
· Thanks to Croc Hunter for lend of the pen! He then chages me $50. Cheeky bugger.
Scribed by CR and written up while 32,000 feet above the Indian Ocean Sunday night on QF 9 from Melbourne to Singapore. Not a drop of wine, beer or bourbon was spilt, but I did drop a peanut somewhere. It has taken me 2 days to fix up all the mistakes and crap I wrote! On on.