Circle Report #1891

23rd September 2009
The Snake in the Grass Run
Bukit Batok Nature Park, Old Jurong Rd
Shoe Shopper and Wet Patch

The Run
‘What we need is a good drop of rain,’ lamented the Hares during the day. Why? To wash away the Seletar trail from the previous night of course! Yes, another clash of run sites!! Also, the rain might wake a few Seletar Hashers who had fallen asleep under a tree or on a park bench in the wee hours of the morning, not that I am suggesting the Seletar Boys like a drink or 30.

Well, of course it didn’t rain and of course it was a live hare run, no time to delete previous trail. Giving us a 5 minute start, which turned into 5 minutes and a bit because the GM kept talking, the pack took off at a rapid pace into the park, lured by the prospect of making the Hares drop their dacks.  Shaggy Dick 2 knew exactly where trail was going on the first check, because this was his 3^rd run here in recent weeks,  and so Tiger put on the pace up the hill, completely melting down everyone’s upper leg muscles. Well almost everyone’s, it didn’t really have much effect on the likes of Wet Pet, Wet N Wild and Twin Towers, who continued their chit chat walk, not even realizing they were going up hill.

Down Lorong Sesuai onto Upper Bukit Timah Rd, and the fun really began. Including for the Hares!! Crossing over at the pedestrian lights, most runners decided to head into the grassland by the Condos next to the Old Fire Station. Wrong!!! We should have been going the opposite direction towards Railmor. Anyway, more fun this way lah. Loud shrieks and screams were soon heard emitting from the mouths of many a Harriet as a seriously big and long snake in the grass python raised its head looking for a bit of something. As it scurried off, Lethal Weapon was heard commenting it was the biggest one she had ever seen, while our visitor Lisa stood open mouth in awe, barely able to get a sound out of her mouth as she ogled  at the size of this particular snake in the grass, despite the fact that it was the infamous Handbag that had brought her to the run. Once the girls had settled down from some of the loudest screaming I have heard outside of a bedroom for a while, it was time to focus on running. Well, sort of. I decided to search over the railway line into a well known track, rather silly really because on a live Hare Run you probably steer away from obvious well known tracks.  Not to worry, as by this stage the pack was completely off trail, having gone the wrong way on Upper Bukit Timah Rd. This did not stop me from finding trail, even if it was a T Check facing the wrong way. But was it Harriet’s or Seletar? No idea, but it was trail so I went through the reverse facing T Check and followed a path leading onto the Mountain Bike Track in the opposite direction to where the trail came from. Not wanting to travel alone, I took a reliable Hasher with me, Stiffy. Sure enough, flour was found 150 meters on, just as ‘On On,’ was called outside on the railway track by the rest of the pack. Oh my Buddha, which way lah.  As Stiffy and I sped along the track, we were confronted by a bike rider coming at us from the other direction. No problem. Except that in front of the bike was a significant sized lizard, coming straight at us, trying to scurry out of harms way from the 2 wheeled beast bearing down on it. Just as I was ready to jump left into the jungle to avoid this 2^nd encounter with a reptile, the lizard looked up, caught sight of Stiffy and made a quick exit right into the jungle where it promptly died of fright. Oh my Buddha, thank you!

After all these encounters with such reptiles, what could possibly happen next I wondered?? This was quickly answered when Stiffy and I rounded the next bend and ran head first into a living  dinosaur. Yes, there was Boo. Anyway, back to the run. Making our way to the Visitors Centre at the Nature Reserve, we found some notable Hashers such as Comes Quietly and Mr. Potato Head running around in circles rather clueless. A call of ‘On On,’ from out on Upper B.T Rd was good enough for Stiffy but did not convince Comes Quietly, who headed back into the Park where he found flour. The Sherlock Holmes that he is, he quickly convinced Dr Cock Radio Watson that this flour had been hastily thrown onto the ground in the splattered pattern that live Hares would do, and that I should follow him. And of course I did. But not for too long, I kid you not. It was 6.45 and Comes Quietly was taking off in the direction of the summit of Bukit Timah. Good luck to you mate!  Well, at this stage I figured it was 10 minutes or so to home, making it an hour run which was good enough for me. And it was. I’m still not sure where the Wednesday run went or where the Seletar Run went, but it was a fun night and everyone was happy. Except for the snake in the grass and the deceased lizard. Dinosaur Boo lives to run another day. Well done Hares, do it another time, why not a combined run with Seletar! We will still be clueless!!  The great thing is, not one person griped or grumbled , apart from Hooray,  but that doesn’t count of course!   

Crikey, What did we think of that for a run? Inevitable call of which run, Harriets or Seletar? No matter what run we did tonight, it was all fun because it is Wednesday night and this is the Singapore Harriets! Well done Hares, it was good, and people may not realize you were stand in Hares either. Thanks!!  

Tell us about your on on mate. On site pizza, 5 smackeroos  or 10 big ones with a beer and maybe a red thrown in. Strewth, a bachelors Garden of Eden! 

Well what about next week? That will be the Father of all Anus’s along with Wet Pet, Dairy Farm Rd, Car Park B, the new one, opposite Petir Rd. Has potential lah. (What is the plural of anus? ) This was greeted by a call of ‘Good Run,’ but Father Anus did a rather crap job of trying to disguise his voice. 

Virgins, visitors and returnees.:  Lisa, Iris, Stiffener, Stiffler, Knobby Boy Scout, Fawlty Towers, Kara. And probably others.  

Lippy–  Knobby, Not Good Enough – who has left already and that is clearly not good enough so we get in Black Member as a look alike.  

The Dick – Is there a dick in our midst? Nope. 

The Tits – The GM declares there has been a member very disparaging of the Harriets that turn up to run on a Friday with Lion City. The GM turned up late, very late, blaming traffic congestion, but it was put to her that it wouldn’t matter as running was a distant secondary to her drinking needs. Can’t remember who actually got the Tits though. 

Awards-  nah, don’t think so. 
AOB –
·      Tiger Lily charges Fawlty Towers, who is not here now. Why?? Given a choice of Pizza on site with a group of derelict smelly runners in a car park in outback Singapore,  or dinner at the Hyatt and what did he choose…….? ‘You Bastard,’ was heard screamed by a certain Harriet with a rather decent set of lungs.
·      The Scribe has a tale to tell about who makes the most noise for their neighbours to hear when they get excited at the sight of a long slithering snake in the grass. Iris had no interest at first but Lethal Weapon was heard to mutter ‘That is an amazingly long one, and soooo big and smooth,’ as she squealed louder than an F1 car. ’ Iris, in the meantime after recovering from seeing such a long Asian snake, managed to get out something along the lines of ‘Oh my gosh, that is a big one!’ Give the snake charmers a note.
·      Sneaky Comer  reminds us of the visual limitations of certain front runners. No need to mention names here lah. Tonight there was an apprentice native indigenous bush tracker from Australia on the job, very intent on examining the flour to determine if it was fresh and from which direction it had been dispersed, using the latest forensic technology of course. After determining which way the flour was dropped, Wanna be an  Aboriginal Native Tracker, Shaggy Dick 2,  went left while the rest of the pack decided to follow the clearly marked chalk markings pointing in the opposite direction. Well done Sherlock.
·      The GM, having gotten over her nasty taxi trip to last weeks Friday run that covered more kms than F1 drivers do in a year , finally has her sense of humour back. Anyway, she gets my attention immediately by mentioning Wet Brazillian, obviously one of our favourite topics. Anyway, she divulged tooo much info to a male, (which is what we love to hear!!! And share!!!) I can only quote ‘ It is harder on your knees to go down.’ I think we should get her a cushion for an award rather than a T Shirt. Anything to encourage going down!!
·      Shaggy Dick 2, an absolute trooper of the Harriet’s,  has a go at yours truly, as I can  now can get a haircut and dental treatment in the one building, in fact directly above each other. Is this the complete Head Job? Well, a massage wouldn’t be bad!!! Is this a charge with a happy ending?
·      Wet Pet came in for a charge, and I quote directly fom my notes    - ‘ ………..  ’  Sorry about that Wet Pet. No idea what happened.
·      Stiffy  loves a Wet Brazillian, and who could blame him?  But she  complains about him – ‘She’s not the only one,’ suggests Comes Quietly, and we all agree. What was up Wet Brazillian tonight, asks someone. Stiffy responds that she had lost her purse on the way to the run and refused to run until she found it. I am going to refuse to pursue this charge any further.
·      Sneaky Comer, who is in grand form these days, charges Hooray for something he hasn’t done for 45 years. Allegedly Hooray, by a quirk of circumstances, somehow, still allegedly managed to be the only person to run the actual run, Allegedly. Be on the look out for flying pigs.
·      Wet Patch tells of a worrying moment involving Tiger Lily and Shaggy Dick 2 on Bukit Timah Rd when they saw that these 2 blind mice had missed a loop and were only 50  meteres away from the Hares  who were still setting the run. Were the Hares spotted? Of course not. Tiger really is blind and Shaggy is too intent on following Tiger’s bum to see anything else!
·      CR, that’s, me got Stiffy in for a Panic Attack. Stiffy reached the designated run site car park but is worried because there is no sign of the Hares Car. Is he at the correct site??? Panic panic. Ring the Hares, where is the car park, I can’t see your car.  RELAX man, this is a live hare Run, no need  for  the Hares to be there yet. Here’s to dumb ass he’s ……..
·      Tiger Lily informs us there is/was  a Japanese  Run , last Thursday, Japanese Temple, over already lah, forget it.
·      If KNC was here, he would advertise  the Red Dress  Run, yep, the Sunday run that will be on Saturday and the 11^th run that will be on the 10^th   But he’s not here so forget it .  

On On On on to pizza and beer and red wine Scribed by Cock Radio.