Circle Report #1893

7th october 2009
Royal Right Tit and Shaggy Dick 2
The Tit with a Dick Run
Blackmore Drive

The Run.
The Gods must be crazy, where�s the torrential late afternoon downpour that always accompanies a Royal Tit run? Flippers, snorkels, and all items of lifesaving equipment were quickly discarded as runners were told to form a Circle by a rather confused stand in GM, Tiger Lily. Down the hill towards Bukit Timah Rd, then into some ankle breaking ground along side the condos. Reaching the rail line, Tiger Lily raced right for an inevitable T check.
Heading away from Bukit Timah Rd, it was turn in right at the first waterway. Comes Quietly smelt a rat and held back. I backed his judgement and started heading towards the old old overgrown railway track through the jungle, but quickly came to a halt when I incurred the wrath of one of the Hares who was going to have me castrated for an act of sabotage. Sure enough there was a T Check, correctly sniffed out by Comes Quietly but I decided to let him check the overgrown railway track. I stood still, not daring to move in case I was shot by a Hare. On On was eventually called, but it was back out on the main Malaysian Railway Line leaving me wondering why the Hare hadn�t let me go on a wild goose chase up the overgrown track never to be seen again.
It wasn�t far along that we were into the jungle and finally to a clearing containing a squatters shack. Through the front door and out the back basically, or was it in the back door and out the front? Never mind. Eventually we arrived at the big canal and were confronted by a tricky grassy descent. I had the unfortunate luck to be descending just in front of Comes Quietly, who did his usual bowling ball approach in an attempt to see how many runners he could up end. While it wasn�t a perfect strike, there were a few of us who ended up on our bums.
Twin Towers was with us tonight, and so was her friend, Twin Tunnels. Yep, runners descended into the drain and then ran through the big tunnels under the hill. Interesting if it had been raining. On reaching the other side, Mr. Potato Head came to grief on a step and did a fair effort in trying to get one of his fingers to go at 90 degrees to the rest of his hand. Luckily Dr. Stiffy was on hand, which was rather handy.
Leaving the drain, we were confronted with a rather steep climb up some tricky slippery sections. Stiffy showed tremendous restraint from keeping his hands off Iris� bum which kept sliding back towards his face. You�re a better man than me Stiffy.
If I recall correctly, we then emerged onto tarmac for a bit of road running which eventually got us onto 6th Avenue. Some opted for the canal up to Old Holland Rd and the paddock to home, some did not even make it to 6th Ave. while the hardy ones did another road loop around the back to also end up at the paddock to reach home. Front runners back in the 1 hour 20 range with not a drop of rain.

Circle Report:

Crikey, What did you think of the run?
Too short and too dry were heard, followed by good run. Well done guys. And someone sprinkles some imitation rain over them.

On on:
Tell us about your on on mate. Red Lantern, $100 per table. Food extra.

Next week:
Loose Marbles and Singaporn, who must be out on a recce as they are not here, Portsdown Rd, TBC. [Web Editor's note: that would be Lost Marbles, Singaporn, and Legolas].

Virgins, visitors, returnees and other misfits:
Holy Shit, Posh Duck, Fawlty Towers, Numb Cock, Iris, Armless, Malfunction, Sharon Batu and probably others.

New Member:
Maggot (probably should be in the misfit section!)

Tits:
Cock Radio points out that the Circle has been a bit different lately, in fact quieter and far more civilized. Why? Because Boo has been missing. But as he is back tonight, who better to give the Tits to. Ok, lame but I couldn�t think of anything else.

Dick:
Kan The Cobra packed Kan Not Can and his Dick off overseas somewhere. One way ticket we hope.

Lipstick:
Boo, Sneaky Comer, Malfunktion, Cock Radio and Numb Cock.

AOB ?

• Tiger Lily was having a coffee earlier on with Twin Towers. Something happened but I missed it as I was disrupted. The end result was that Fawlty Towers took the blame and was duly charged. Bastard.
  
• While we were all showing sympathy to Mr. Potato Head's injured finger, it seems that the Hare decided that such an injury was the mark of a good run and was very happy. Bastard.
  
• Stiffy called in Hash Cash, who was not here, to collect more fees to pay for Mr Potato Heads injury, medical bills, loss of income, inability to pick his nose, inability to give appropriate gestures during road rage incidents and loss of job as a Dyke tester in Holland. Bastard.
  
• Boo saw Stiffy getting the finger from Mr. Potato Head after the injury. Double bastard.
  
• Cock Radio observed Stiffy with his hands, fingers and tongue showing considerable restraint as Iris, in her black tights and bent over, kept sliding back towards him. And as soon as he got the chance to overtake, off he sped, leaving her to fend for herself. Silly bastard.
  
• Malfunktion overheard 2 female Harriets on the run, one explaining technique to the other "You have to get it right at the back of your throat and make a sucking noise. Use your tongue more." Not Tonight and Loose Change, using their running time profitably. Fat Crashing Bastard then claims that his wife goes down quick. Lucky bastard.
  
• Fat Crashing Bastard is worried as his wife is able to confidently recognize both Cock Radio and Sneaky Comer in the dark. Sneaky bastards.
  
• Shaggy Dick 2 tells that FCB and Too Easy were a picture of happiness as they neared the finish of the run. One was happy for actually doing the Long Run (FCB) and the other for missing the bumpy bits at the end. ( Too Easy for avoiding the paddock and staying on tarmac) Happy bastards.
  
• Cock Radio however that this couple then proceeded to race each other home. While Too Easy took the longer but safer footpath route, Fat Crashing Bastard ran the tangent across the bend in the road, straight into the path of a taxi. Stupid bastard.
  
• Stiffy lays an intellectual property complaint on Maggot as a rep. of Sunday Hash. The Red Dress run, he claims, is being advertised with an image of his wife in compromising running gear on the flyer. And now someone has posted the flyer on his notice board at work. Unhappy bastard.
  
• Wet Pet questioned Indecent Exposure why she and Armless had parked their car 500 meters away from everyone else. "So we can go for a quick bonk," was the reply. Optimistic bastards.
  
• FCB was asked by Wet Pet if he could stick it in. What a Sex Goddess. Obliging bastard.
  
• Tiger Lily needs a Biology lesson, as Maggot was heard exclaiming that he had swallowed a fly. Tiger asks do maggots eat flies. More to the point, Virginia Slim asked if flies ejaculate. Funny bastard.
  
• FCB noticed Holy Shit wearing new Hash attire on her ankles. Some sort of waterproof ankle protectors. However they were worth Jack Shit once the water level got over shin deep. Gaiter girl or dumb bastard?
  
• Lion City HHH D&D at Tanglin Club, coming up real soon. Nov 7 . See Maladjusted for tickets.
  
• Breast Cancer awareness run is coming up soon. Watch for details. Watch for breasts too.
  
• Fees are due, so cough up!
  
• If KNC was here, he would advertise the Red Dress Run, yep, the Sunday run that will be on Saturday and the 11th run that will be on the 10th But he's not here so forget it . No, don't forget it, it's this week. Be there, always a good show. Even if they do hold it during our school holidays! And I won't be there.
  
  On on On on to Red Lantern.
  Scribed by Cock Radio .
  
  PS Mr. Potato Head has really done a nasty effort on his finger, possible operation I am hearing . While he deserves some sympathy and we wish him well, are the Hares now insisting this be Run of the Year????