Circle Report #1899
11th November 2009Tiger Lily
The Lest We Forget it’s Tiger Lily, Short Means 10km, Run
Bukit Gombak Stadium
The Run
Called to order and instructed that this run was a “medium run” set on flour, paper, and chalk, intrepid hashers checked they had map, compass, cut lunch, torch, money for taxi, passport, and survival kit – after all, the hare does normally run TO the web site, around the run, and back home for each hash, so we had a right to be worried about the length.
Off we went behind the stadium and up that freakin’ hill. A t-check along the drain half way up the hill fooled few; there was no chance we weren’t going right to the top and so we did. Over the top, down the other side to Chu Lin Road, and then a bit of road running around the estate to keep with the hare’s sensibilities. A tricky circle in the open field near Hillview Avenue brought the pack back together to fan in all directions looking for on, which was eventually found on Hillview Avenue heading towards Upper Bukit Timah Road. When trail was pointing over the pedestrian bridge, some of our more seasoned ladies decided it couldn’t possibly that way, it would be too far, and staged a sit down strike. Unfortunately, since the hare was Tiger Lily, the trail DID go that way, into the small estate at Jalan Asas, then down Upper BT road.
By this point the FRB’s were really getting the hang of this “medium run”; to the point of one of them running straight over a T-check and on into town. More on this later. Eventually the T was called and the inevitable mountain climb up Hume Heights to the VERY top of Lorong Sesuai, before an upside down T-check convinced the FRB’s to head back down the nature park trail, into a bit more shaggy, across the lorry park, down East Avenue 2, into Avenue 5, and finally, PHEW, home.
A really nice run that an old fat bastard like me managed to complete in 1:10 – I think that DOES qualify as a medium run. Well done hare.
The Circle
The scribe was still in the shower, some of our members were still straggling in, but the circle was called – c’mon on, the pizza is coming, we need to get the circle going was the call. After a bit of grumbling and some excellent delaying tactics, the circle finally commenced just after 8. At which point Joint Mistress Tiger Lily found she had left her circle instructions at home. “What do we do first?”. Oh, ok, hare in the circle.
Crikey, What did we think of that for a run? “Too short, just like the hare” was heard. Very good run.
Tell us about your on on mate. Pizza on-site, arriving any minute, hurry up and get on with the circle!
Well what about next week? Celebration run for run number 1900. End of Tanjong Beach, Sentosa. Turn left at the Dolphins. On on will be on-site with Mr Ho. Please give us an idea if you are coming along.
The Tits – Double Back asks for Twin Towers and Hooray to enter the circle. She heard them talking and Hooray asked Twin Towers when she was going to get married. I didn’t catch all of this but Twin Towers mentioned something about divorce and pole dancing (or it might have been dirty dancing). Anyway, in the scribe’s opinion the two probably go together. Somehow out of all this Hooray got the tits because he is a little flat chested….
The Dick – incredibly, after only 20 weeks absent, the dick has made a reappearance on the noggin of Kannot Kan. Now; we knew you had it KK, despite all the denials and marital discord over whether the dick was at home or not. Where was it found? Bottom of the laundry basket, apparently, by the maid, who had apparently got around to getting to the bottom of the laundry basket. Begs the question about how much hash gear was at the bottom of the basket….phew! Stiffy kindly pointed out that the Dick already had KK’s postcode printed on it. Anyway, there was no way we were allowing KK to keep the Dick, so he had to find some candidates: Maggot for being Australian (as if that was a crime), and Fat Crashing Bastard for being in full spandex at the run despite being unable to run. Fat Crashing Bastard now has the Dick, and was forced to give us a receipt for it. Bring it back next week!
AOB? Well, perhaps it would be polite to welcome our visitors first, so let’s do that.
Virgins, visitors, returnees and other misfits: Crit, Beth, Vibrator, Wet Patch, Bizzie Bush.
New Member – none.
Lippy – Wet Patch and Virginia Slim, who both got environmentally friendly, organic, bright red hearts painted on them.
Awards - none.
AOB –
· Sneaky Comer was fortunate enough to catch the front runners after a bas^%$d of an uphill T check that he managed to avoid. What did he see then? Shaggy Dick Too weaving across the road, trying to stay behind the pace car in Shoe Shopper. The lengths some will go to avoid lipstick.
· Virginia Slim noticed two cases of T abuse on trail tonight. The first was by Shoe Shopper, who while showing off her lean, long legged running style to the old fat bastards on Upper BT Road, managed to run straight over a T check and on into town. The OFB’s looked at each other, wondered who was going to call her back, and decided none of them. They took a nice rest until Shoe Shopper finally realized, at about the Red Lantern, that she wasn’t on trail and had to huff and puff all the way back. The other case was by the hare, Tiger Lily, who managed to lay an upside down T-check at the top of Lorong Sesuai to confuse the afore-mentioned OFB’s and FRB’s, who happened to be all together at this point, the OFB’s having had their 15 minute rest. So here’s to them, one can’t spell T and the other doesn’t know what it looks like. “T girls (Shoe Shopper and Tiger Lily) show us your legs….”
· All this reminded Shoe Shopper of the injustice of Wet Patch, Shaggy Dick Too, Vibrator, and Royal Tit who, having left SS running into town while they rested, then had the temerity to give SS a “hurry up” as she had to lead them up the hill at Lorong Sesuai. Give the sensitive bastards a note….
· Bring on the grudge seeing to be the order of the night, Shaggy Dick Too asks Shoe Shopper back in. After the Lorong Sesuai climb, there was a circle in the lorry park. SD2 suggested the on must be “in that direction” at which SS threw her toys out of the pram, saying “I am tired, YOU check it out”. Then during the charge she spat the dummy about how long the charge was. Give her a note.
· Hooray had Tiger Lily and Shaggy Dick Too in for being old farts. In the old days both would turn up on Friday and run their race on Sunday. Now apparently, they need more than two days rest before a race.
· Stiffy was struggling on the run and asked a local which way the run went. Comes Quietly was sure he knew, he has “lived in Japan and knows the way the Japanese mind thinks”. And did he? Well, no, give him a note.
· Shoe Shopper thinks we should give a thank you note to Tiger Lily for being all things to all people tonight….she laid the run, she swept the run, she ran the circle, she organized the on on, and probably swept up afterwards. Thanks TL. Tiger Lily is asked what the yellow sign on the back of the beer truck means (in Japanese) – apparently “we have very cold beavers”. Umm, ok.
· Hurry up, pizza must be getting close!
· Too Easy points out that Twin Towers has plasters on both knees. Carpet burns????
· Tiger Lily points out that last week, Fat Crashing Bastard had a big, vigorous snake coming out of his pants. This week, the snake is limp and tired. On in Too Easy for making the snake tired.
· Not Tonight wants a Singaporean daddy in, Father Anus. Why, she wants to know, in multi-cultural Singapore, can’t multi-cultural plasters be found for Twin Towers?
· Wet Patch wants Wet Brazilian in. After following Wet Brazilian up up up the hill, WP was delighted to hear that Wet Brazilian really prefers going down.
· Shoe Shopper is reminded that Sneaky Comer has invited her over to try out his new 3m long couch? Does she at least get offered a drink first?
· Stiffy was talking to Shoe Shopper about how great the Lion City D&D was last weekend. SS has one complaint, she and Wet Patch won a mattress protector and they aren’t incontinent! Not Tonight points out that if they don’t need a mattress protector then perhaps Wet Patch should be called in.
· Pizzas still not here, so more charges. Kannot Kan wants the cripples in the circle: Hooray, Fat Crashing Bastard, Twin Towers. I am not sure where this charge was going but then he calls in Comes Quietly, who turned up late to the run, ran past KK, past the first fence, and was not seen again….no calls, no onon. KK thinks CQ should take a leaf from the cripple’s book.
· Handbag calls in Tiger Lily. Last time we ran around Lorong Sesuai Handbag had Tiger Lily just behind him (bullshit), and TL was encouraging HB to make it up the hill without stopping. He claims he was in the same situation this week (bullshit) but this time drill seargent Tiger Lily made him run all the way up the grass bank as well.
· Father Anus calls in Kannot Kan for being unable to recognize Kan the Kobra, Dances with Kerbs, and Lost Marbles from the back.
· Pizza still not here, so Shoe Shopper calls in Boo, because no circle is complete without charging Boo….5,4,3,2,1…
· Kannot Kan calls in Singaporn for having a heavy bottom????
· Anyone else not had a charge yet? On in Zipp, Not Tonight.
· Tiger Lily has Twin Towers in for a condom charge. Not sure I understood it. Give her a note.
· Not Tonight has Twin Towers in, who needs a new dance partner.
· Fat Crashing Bastard has Bizzie Bush in fro acapella hash singing.
Finally, 400 pizzas have arrived, all with pineapple, so it’s On on On
Scribed by Sneaky Comer .