Circle Report #1901
25th November 2009The “They’re Coming from all Directions” Run
Swiss Cottage Estate
Hooray, Kannot Kan, Kan the Kobra
The Run
Well, either a hash shit or a disaster were on the cards as your scribe checked the run site on Bing Maps – lots of houses, a small street, strong chances of a police visit were on the mind. As we arrived at the run site even our guest lawyer was giving the run site the thumbs down. Things didn’t improve much as one of the hares divided us into fast and slow runners, with Cock Radio keeping a foot in both camps (more on this later). And things got positively dire as the FRB’s were sent off on a seemingly pointless 200m loop of the nearby pavement.
Just as the FRB’s were thinking of giving up and settling in at the beer wagon for a long drink, we were directed into Goldhill Rise to find the walkers coming back from a T-check and swearing quietly to themselves….this run is looking up if we can piss off the GM who had to do her first T-check in; well; forever. Then up into Goldhill for a bit of shaggy which we missed, a run past the B&W’s on Malcolm Road, then a treacherous descent to the PIE through some forest that hadn’t seen a human for a while. An obvious circle check at the bottom of the hill (there was only one way over the PIE and it was “that way” was quickly solved, followed by three more obvious T-checks on each side of the PIE, although not so obvious to Tiger Lily who managed to run over all three of them while the sneakier, fatter, and older hashes pretended to tie their shoe laces or find other reasons to wait for the check to be found.
The trail then wound up through the Chinese cemetery and through some interesting paths and long grass until we eventually emerged on Mount Pleasant Road. An obvious T-check down the road was your scribe’s undoing at this point, as I hopefully searched down Gymkana Avenue. Hope, on wasn’t there. By the time I reached the actual T-check the FRB’s had disappeared and it was a case of find your own way home. I later discovered that approach was required by everyone, as the trail petered out and the pack found 17 different ways to get back to the run site. My favoured route was down Thomson Road, Chancery Lane, and Dunearn Road, but others tried Whitley Road and Malcolm Road, while one of our adventurous Short Cutting Bastards decided to take the long way around via Swiss Club Road.
So with the pack arriving in dribs and drabs from about 7:10pm until 7:45pm, what to do about the circle was in debate with our regular scribe, Cock Radio, missing in action. Missing, that is, until a taxi arrived and disgorged Cock Radio. Shoe Shopper rushed to the rescue with $5 to pay the taxi. Unfortunately, the fare was $20, Cock Radio having taken a tour of local delights looking for the run site. On on.
The Circle
Crikey, What did we think of that for a run? Ummm, good run actually. Some interesting new territory and it should be run of the year since we managed to get Cock Radio lost. Falls down on that score only because he did manage to find his way back to the run site.
Tell us about your on on mate. Across the road, leave the car at home, Balmoral Plaza, The Big Bird Chicken Rice. Trust it was good.
Well what about next week? Very end of Chestnut Avenue, announces Shoe Shopper and Malfunktion, with on on at the Red Lantern. In sharp contrast to this week, SS has had the run site reserved for 19 months.
Virgins, visitors, returnees and other misfits: Knee Trembler, Malfunktion, Posh Nash, Half Cut, Vibrator, Mel.
Birthday Girls: Posh Nash gets a birthday drink, as does Sneaky Comer.
New Member – none.
Lippy – Cock Radio, having returned in a taxi, must have been running in front (of next week’s run perhaps), and Kannot Kan (as a hare) also gets lippy. Hard to complain about that one!
The Dick – Cock Radio is still collecting his thoughts, clothes, etc as the Dick is called. He enters the circle. A plaintive cry of “keep the Dick” is heard, at which Cock Radio smiles, grabs himself a drink, and takes a down down. Enough said. Oh, but wait, the GM decides he needs the tutu as well. Give the ambidextrous one a note.
The Tits – absent.
Awards - none.
AOB?
· Kannot Kan has a charge. “Make it shorter than your run”, remarks the GM. Boo is normally heard to remark that there are too many Gwailos, but today he was heard to remark that there were too many dead Chinamen. Boo states that he is not rascist.
· Stiffy raises an obscure teaching charge on Shaggy Dick Too. This charge apparently harks back to a charge by SD2 on Stiffy a few weeks ago, about enquiry based teaching. OK. Apparently he found a book in the library “Where’s My Cock” which would be good teaching material for SD2. Glad my kids don’t go to that school, is all I can say.
· Vibrator overheard Posh Nash discussing her work on the run. What does she do? Well she is supposed to be teaching 4 year olds. But apparently it is easier to take lessons in Japanese from her students. So here’s to the teaching profession.
· Hooray asks the crowd who thought the run was short? No shorter than Twin Towers, who managed to walk 100m to the gas station and back and still needed a shower afterwards.
· Hooray points out that Boo was very vocal (not unusual) at the start of the run about how bad the run site was, that the police would visit, and so on. So when the police did visit while we were on the run, what did they complain about? That big Mercedes blocking half of the road, that’s what.
· Boo asked if it was good form to come back to the run site in a taxi if you are a hare. The answer is of course no. So on in Kannot Kan for setting a bad omen for this run.
· Shaggy Dick Too wants to enter the circle and looks to the GM for permission. But no, she is too busy talking, so she gets a drink.
· Shaggy Dick Too now wants to tell his shaggy dog story. Near the end of the run, SD2, with three other intrepid FRB’s, got lost while following trail and found themselves up against a fence that seemed in the way of where they wanted to go. They climbed the fence, crossed a field, and were confronted by a guard who asked them loudly who they were. To which they answered, loudly, “Jonathan Haworth”. Good luck Kannot Kan, see you when you get back.
· Cock Radio observed a conversation, full of BS, between SD2 and Vibrator. SD2 was “talking to one of my friends” (BS), and then got an email (BS, you can’t work a computer), telling him about an adventure run in Hong Kong (BS, this is impossible). Vibrator was interested so they exchanged “business cards”, otherwise known as scraps of paper. Give them both a drink.
· Tiger Lily was taking a shower when she was approached by Knee Trembler expressing an interest in “who is Shaggy Dick Too”. To which Tiger Lily pointed out the “man with a beer gut”. Could have been anyone, but there you go.
· Handbag is upset that people cast aspersions on his running ability tonight. (Hang on, haven’t we done this charge before)? Anyway, first up was Maggot (not here, so we got a look-a-like wannabe Australian bastard in Fat Crashing Bastard), who got a bit impatient with Handbag crossing a drain and told him to “just get on with it”. Then there was Stiffy, who whinged that “oh, I’m even behind Handbag now”. Finally, there was Legolas, who asked him if he was short cutting. Give them all a drink.
· Cock Radio did see some things on the hash before he short cut his way to Jurong. On the PIE, Tiger Lily and Shaggy Dick Too were haring up the front, as they usually do, while Cock Radio clearly saw trail up the hill and deduced they were running to a T-check. On calling them back he was abused by SD2 for not running the f%$#ing hash. No need when we can see, retorted Cock Radio. Give the two blind mice a note.
· Finally, we sang a tender farewell song to Half Cut who is off to drive tourists around a bend in the US. F&^* off….. We will miss you Lyn.
On on On on to Chicken Rice
Scribed by Sneaky Comer