Circle Report #1908
13th January 2010The ‘Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines,’ Run
Seletar Air Base
Stiffener, Stiff (by proxy), Virginia Slim
The Run
The Pack automatically gathered around at 2 minutes to 6, even without the GM saying a word, thus proving that she is not really needed any more after her Christmas absence. And when she did speak, no one understood a bloody word she said due to the fact she had rekindled her accent further having visited her homeland of the short fat sheep.
Despite a lack of clear markings early on due to the chalk taking a washout from the rain, the wily runners had a hunch we were heading out of the base and over the expressway into jungle. And we did. Some good jungle trails ensued, although it did get a bit potty at one stage, while the walkers managed to keep up simply by staying on the sealed road which we kept on coming out onto.
Tiger Lily led the way at various stages, as did Shoe Shopper. But this was a good run that resulted in many other gals taking a turn at the lead at some time – Quickie, Lethal Weapon, Loose Change (well, she was short cutting but it was a moment of glory), Posh Nash, a visitor (Foreplay?), Penile Extension, Boo and the list goes on! Well done gals on sharing the lead duties, it was nice to see some new nice bums up there. Umm, not yours Penile Extension!
Those that wore their good road shoes, or brand new just out of the packet white socks (yes, me) were now in for a shock. A stream crossing of stinking deep brown mud had to be negotiated, not just once but several times. Attempts to cross included Shiggy Piggy Backing, death defying log balancing acts, world record attempts at the triple jump, the Bulldozer Approach, the Twinkle Toes Method, The Shut the Eyes and Hope for the Best Strategy, the conservative Stand and Observe Approach, and the Retreat with Dignity method. All met with varying degrees of unsuccessfulness! Anyway, 1 hour 10 was a fairly average time that runners returned in.
The Circle
Crikey, What did we think of that for a run? Not bad for old farts, where’s Stiff, not enough mud, who let the dogs out, run of the year. Bloody muddy good run Hares.
Tell us about your on on mate. Chicken, vegies and bread n butter puddin. On site. And free beer. Bloody muddy fuzzy good run.
Well what about next week? Car park along Jurong Kechil. Car park at bottom of Bukit Batok Nature Park. Lorong Sesuai. At this stage, still yes. Suits Stiffy because it is free parking!
Virgins, visitors, returnees and other misfits: Wee Willy, Penile Extension, (and makan chef wife), Fawlty Towers, Foreplay, YBF (don’t ask!) . Forced Entry was spotted hanging around a dubious character, and Malfunktion made a very late appearance.
New Member – Mel and Posh Nash. Welcome gals. Wet Patch did join the other week and still hasn’t been given a mention yet, so I will throw him in. We still forgot to give him a down down for being a new member, so I will leave him in again.
Lippy – The heavy duty lippy is brought out. Suffer Penile Extension ( ‘but I broke 4 checks!’) Boo and CR.
The Tits – Shoe Shopper does a ‘Bigger than Ben Hur,’ effort on her Tits and calls in a cast of thousands. She starts by recalling a comment she made before the run –‘ So many women here,’ and from behind came a voice ‘And so little time!’ On in Wet Patch. Could be the only tits you get close too tonight! Shopper brings Sneaky in for attempting the bulldozer approach at a mud crossing, resulting in him sinking up to his bullocks and having to be pulled out by a tractor. I was bought in next for forgetting it was Wednesday night and not Friday and imitating the Harriet’s GM by getting the Pack to gather around. One of the males was heard to call ‘Need an ugly woman,’ at a Circle Check. From another male came a reply, ‘You don’t have a choice!’ On in Stiffy. Finally, Tiger was heard moaning in the back seat on the way to the run, saying ‘That’s good, that’s good, oh yes, now I can really feel it,’ followed by more moaning. Tiger claims it was the air con vent being opened, but we don’t believe her! And the winner is – Tiger Lily for having an orgasm or 2 in the back seat on the way to the run.
The Dick – Gyspy is in and tells of the vertically challenged, which is appropriate as he was wearing the Dick on his head. At a drain that measured no more than 0.35 metres across, a female was seen going back 50 metres to get a run up to jump it. Wet N Ready, with legs your length, even if you stood at the edge and fell forward you still would have made it across. But at another stream/quicksand crossing, YBF stopped and refused to cross. Why? She didn’t bring a ‘baggy’ for her shoes. Before Gypsy manages to give his Dick to one of these deserving gals, Not Tonight comes in and spills the beans on Gyspy. It seems that while attempting one of these crossings, the Ditch Guru actually took a fall in himself. With calls of ‘Keep the Dick, Gypsy did a runner from the Circle, leaving a limp Dick on the ground.
Awards - nah, don’t think so.
AOB – (may not be any left after Shoe Shopper’s tits effort!)
· But wait, Shoe Shopper is not finished! Her request for a white wine and soda from the Beer Wagon was overheard by Mr. Potato Head, who commented that such a drink is known as a poofters mouth wash. Just how does he know this? And remember, Rule number 3, ‘No poofters,’ which is backed up by Rule number 5, ‘No poofters.’
· Sneaky Comer (welcome back) commented that some checks on the Hash can be hard enough to break, but the task is made even more difficult when certain Hashers take a piss and wash out the markings. On in Shoe Shopper, you ought to be publicly pissed on, ….
· Stiffy was near the last crossing of the muddy streams, when through the bush came a crash, bash, crack then splash, followed by ‘Oh bugger!’ On in Loose Change for breaking the bridge.
· Loose Change was with a group of females, comprising Kamala, Dances With Kerbs and other like minded Harriets. On reaching a muddy crossing, the decision was unaminous –‘Let’s take the Retreat Approach.’ However their plan was tharted by the the 8 lane freeway to their rear. Only one way to go then, across the mud. Soon one of them was calling out, ‘Come back Boo Boo, Boo Boo come back.’ Did this female have a secret lust for the infamous Boo? No, in making the crossing, she had lost her shoe in the mud and wanted Boo to come back and get it for her. Well done Kamala!
· Just to finish off the story above, Boo Boo did not come back and retrieve the shoe. But it was Penile Extension who is now the darling of Kamala.
· Zipp could not hear any of the above charge because she was surrounded by females talking non stop. Get in here GM, and Dances With Kerbs and Wet N Ready. And while they got their down down, they were still bloody talking!
· Wet Pet believes that the experience, wisdom and aura that some of the older runners, such as her herself, exhibit, can be intimidating to the younger runners. But that was no excuse for Stiffler to dislodge a whole tree and place it between himself and her! ‘He’s a lumberjack and he’s ok, he cuts down trees and …’
· Dances With Kerbs, who is now listening, decides to call Kamala ‘Cinderella’ for losing her shoe. Does that make Penile Extension her Prince Charming for finding the shoe????
· Boo informs us of the Governments decision to allow people of mixed races to have them included on their IC. But he is puzzled and calls in an English Teacher, Stiffy, and poses some possibilities. What do you call an Aussie who marries a Kiwi? (pissed out of his brain I reckon, and should not be held responsible for his rash act). What about a Chinese who marries an Indian? (is Boo planning to marry Kamala????). Anyway, Stiffy has no idea. Just by the way, what would you call the child of the Aussie who married a Kiwi who marries a product of the Chinese / Indian marriage? And then if they married a ….. Could be some very big IC cards coming up!
· I observed the Twinkle Toes style of Lethal Weapon and Posh Nash as they ran the grassy wooded trails. Very dainty and effective, especially compared to the bulldozer crash and trip approach of Penile Extension and myself. Then,at a crossing of a muddy stream, I delicately made my way across the tree branch bridge, swaying from side to side, on one leg then the other, one step forward then 2 steps backwards, finally making it to the other side with a slightly awkward landing, but safe. This raised a few giggles from Posh Nash who was behind me and about to take her turn. Very daintily, full of poise, grace and balance she started across the bridge with her Twinkle Toes style. But, half way, panic set in and seeing my outstretched hand at the other side, she changed tactics and decided on the gung ho express get to the other side asap approach. However, the sudden acceleration saw a loss of traction on the slippery log and she fell face first sprawled straddled legs apart on the log. Ohh, nasty. And just for the record, that was not my muddy hand print on her chest and crutch when she got back!
· The GM decided after my impersonations of the gals doing their Twinkle Toes running that I would be even better in a pink tutu. Don’t you mess with my tutu!!!
· Ugly Bum has been running for years (must be tired by now, I find 1 hour adequate myself) and in all those years she has only ever been annoyed by Boo calling out ‘Hey Ugly Bum!’ while in public. But tonight she was overwhelmed! While on the run, Boo said to her ‘ Hey Elaine, come and have a look at the lovely plants in this nursery being prepared for Chinese New Year.’ Is there another side to Boo? We hope not!
· Mr. Potato Head then charged C. Radio for a very feeble attempt at trying to piggy back Posh Nash across a muddy section. I didn’t even make it one step before I had to tell her to get off. Well, I was stuck in the mud, couldn’t move!
· Stiffy helped a lovely young lady at one difficult stage and she took advantage of the situation by grabbing hold of his groin and not letting go. I can’t remember who it was, and do we actually have lovely young gals at the Harriets???
· Stiffy also wants to know who is responsible for the web site map? When he clicked on it to find the run site, he got a whole map of SE Asia. Well, I guess that narrows it down a bit mate.
· Shaggy Dick 2 has a detected a molesting theme, a subject that is dear to his heart. Anyway, St. Josephs boy school is after a new boss –‘God’ shouts someone. Seems that Stiffy is interested in the job for the theme reasons!
· Lethal Weapon is charged for changing next weeks run site 3 times in the space of 2 hours. Stay tuned!
· Slim does a promo for Kampung Hash, but its all over and done with by now.
On on On on to the Stiffs backyard for a very pleasant evening sitting outside under the stars, no traffic, nice home cooked makam (thanks to Mrs. Penile Extension) and heaps of free beer.
Scribed by Cock Radio