Circle Report #1909
20th January 2010The ‘Wet and Lethal Anus’ Run
Lorong Sesaui
Lethal Weapon, Wet n Ready, Father Anus
The Run
A good T check at the start had the pack going around in Circles. ‘What time does a 6 o’clock run start?’ had me going around in Circles – he told me to look up at that monstrosity of a communications tower stretching up into the sky and it made me dizzy. Anyway, down through the park and across Old Jurong Rd. Through the grass along the fence line we reached a spot where we would normally head through the trees out to Upper Bukit Timah Rd and into the Nature Reserve. But this was to be no normal run.
It was across Jurong Kechil instead and into the housing estates. We then proceeded to use grass areas, forest, playgrounds, canals, more playgrounds, drains and more neighbourhood playgrounds to link up various roads not normally associated with this run site! Some of the unlikely places passed included Toh Tuck, East Ave 3, the edge of the PIE, Cheng Soon Gardens (at this stage we were hoping for ‘Be Home Soon), some Poly Tech residences, Bukit Timah Wet Market, Jalan Anak and other monuments I can’t describe. Anyway, the run ended on more familiar ground – the Malaysian Railway line, back by the old Bukit Timah Fire Station for a final sprint up the hill to home. Front runners around 1 hour 10, walkers even longer and some back runners 1 hour 25.
Right Royal Tit, like all good race horses, had been put out for a spell over Christmas in a very good paddock after his ½ marathon effort in December, and found the going on his first run of a new campaign not to his liking. In racing terms, the work out will do him good, if he didn’t pull up lame! Maggot was another race horse who found the distance not to his liking. Possibly something to do with his previous start last Sunday, where the Aussie Day live Hare Run resembled the Grand National. Well done Hares, that was different! Good stuff.
The Circle
Crikey, What did we think of that for a run? It was looking like ‘Run of the Year,’ for a while as Boo was not back. But alas….! Calls of ‘Too short’ and other normal comments failed to prevent this being called a Good Run. And it was!
Tell us about your on on mate. Red Lantern, $12 for all the usual!
Well what about next week? Just past Mayfair Park and up the hill, Off Rifle Range Rd. Aussie Day Run, traditional Aussie tucker on site (meat pies and some vegie ones as well.) There will be a booze stop as well. Crikey, sounds like a good run already. Cock Radio, Maggot and Sneaky Comer will be setting the run, Lethal Weapon will be on the booze and Shoe Shopper and Royal Right Tit on entertainment.
Virgins: Anonymous lady (who thought it was a female run but was pleasantly surprised to find so many fit young athletic good looking men) oh, and she can run, and she brings the average age of the membership down considerably!
Visitors, returnees and other misfits: Front Arse, Crit, Wee Willy Winky, Sex Change, Confused, Lulu, YBF, Knobby Boy Scout, Knickerless (and allegedly she was), Fiona, Slimey Limey. Sure I saw Forced Entry there too!
New Member – Nah. Wet Patch did join the other week and still hasn’t been given a mention yet, so I will throw him in. We still forgot to give him a down down for being a new member, so I will leave him in again. I’m not giving up on this till I remember to get this resolved!!
Lippy – Crit, Hooray and Front Arse
The Tits – Nothing in my notes, so guess we had no Tits tonight.
The Dick – YBF did collect the limp Dick that Gyspy left on the ground last week. There was a male runner who very thoughtfully was calling out all the trips, hazards, holes, etc on the run so that all the females around him ran safely. However our Health and Safety Officer missed a hole himself and fell flat on his face in front of all the gals, severely bruising his male ego. Well done Fat Crashing Bastard.
Awards - nah, don’t think so.
AOB –
· Stiffy gets a few FRB’s in and has a whinge about them not breaking checks, causing him some severe inconvenience. He is planning to issue them all with chalk next run.
· Boo tells us that Forced Entry can get her car topless in 23 seconds. Not bad. Virginia Slim reckons he can get Forced Entry topless in 10 seconds. Nice. But Legoless beats everyone by lifting up her T shirt and being topless in 2 seconds. Beat that.
· Front Arse spent too much time with Stiffy and is also complaining about front runners not calling on on. As a result he and Stiffy had to run an extra 3 miles. So the GM is charged for not getting the front runners to call on on. In return Front Arse receives a whinging charge.
· Sneaky Comer informs us that the Hash is really going down hill. (bloody went up hill at the end of the run tonight) He heard some old timers reminiscing that in the old days on the Harriets, single males used to get passed around the girls like party favours. Those were the days my friends, we thought they’d never end, ……
· Cock Radio is having problems with a pair of flashers creating havoc with his scribing duties. In comes Kan Not Can and our visiting camera flasher for a camera flashing shoot out at 10 paces.
· Stiffy gets in a Bloodshit look a like, Sneaky Comer. At a drain that was just wide enough to challenge Bloodshit, he decided to use his ‘Dial a friend’ option. Calling to Stiffy who was on the other side, Bloodshit held out his hand and told Stiffy to pull as hard as he can. This immediately invoked Newton’s 3rd Law of Physics relating to drain crossings, resulting in of course Stiffy ending up in the drain. Bloodshit then used Stiffy’s head as a stepping stone to cross the drain.
· Sneaky Comer has come up with the ultimate gift to give someone – The present that just keeps on and on like it is still a new novelty 6 months later. Yes, Stiffy’s GPS. He is still showing it off despite the fact his Birthday was some time ago now.
· Not Tonight wants the Koreans in but we don’t have any. Why no Koreans at the Circle? Beacause the South Korean Government wants all its eligible couples home in bed by 7.30 to arrest the declining birth rate. Mmm, how do you apply for South Korean citizenship? Anyway, Slim and Forced Entry are brought in as Korean reps, then they promptly duck off into the bushes for a quickie to do their bit.
· Fat Crashing Bastard calls in Wet Patch, who is English and wearing purple, to represent Cadburys, and Virginia Slim who is in Kraft yellow to formalize the take over of Cadburys by Kraft. Let’s hope they do better than the Yankie take over of Man United.
· Cock Radio is worried about the receiver of tonight’s Dick. Seems that Fat Crashing Bastard won’t be here next run, and made a comment that he is happy to leave his Dick in my hand for the week. What makes me even more worried is that his wife refused to hold the Dick for him.
· Wet Brazilian has young kids and tells us it is to be expected that 4 years olds will have a few difficult moments dressing themselves. But tonight after the run came calls of distress from a female, ‘I can’t get my dress on, where do my arms go, is it up the right way up, oh someone help me please.’ Well done Knickerless, and she leaves us all wondering if she managed to get her knickers on.
· Kan Not Can was not lost on the run, apparently he was doing some reccing for a future run. Sounds like Bullshit to me to me. Then, having pushed the GM aside, he managed to get in a plug for his annual Robbie Burns run (reports of last years run were glowing – good short run, fabulous food and drams and drams of whisky)
On on On on to the Red Lantern.
Scribed by Cock Radio