Circle Report #1913
17th February 2010The ‘Royal Tit Shag,’ Run
Next to the Riding School, Bukit Browne Cemetery
Royal Right Tit & Shaggy Dick 2
The Run
The 6 O’clock run got underway a bit after 6 as the GM was having her little pre run gossip chat. Around the corner and up the drain, mmm, I smell a T check. Yep, on back along the trail and into the bush. Some single file bush bashing then took place, with Wet Thong leading the charge. At one stage she forced her way through a very stubborn vine that grabbed her upper body. While it slowed her, it failed to bring her to a complete stop. On she forged, with the vine stretching and stretching like a bow. Unfortunately for me, this bow was also loaded with an arrow in the form of a broken tree branch. Finally Wet Thong broke free of the vine, causing it to spring back and shoot the tree branch right into my head. Ouch!
Eventually out onto a nice trail, up the hill and I smell another T check. Yep, back into the bush. Eventually the ground gave way to graves and headstones, thus immediately deadening the pace. A long/short split was reached, with the walkers continuing their tour of the Cemetery while the FRB’s went petrol sniffing out on Lornie Rd and over into McRitchie. Possibly because of the fumes, they failed to smell a T check. Back onto Lornie for more petrol sniffing, before crossing back over the overhead and finding a lovely little set of steps at the end of a side street to take them back into the Cemetery. A little camp fire was a nice touch, but where were the sausages?
Back into the dead centre of the Cemetery, we then discovered why it is called ‘Bukit’ Browne. For the unfamiliar, ‘Bukit’ in Malay means hill, and hill we climbed. Why stay on a nice made track when we can all pretend to be mountaineers and climb up through the greaves to the summit. Did I hear someone calling for an oxygen tank? Should we plant a flag when we reached the top? Unlike Boo’s age, we eventually came down again to reach the nice made track just 20 metres further on from where we had left it. Nice one Hares!
Another little diversion up and down again saw the FRB’s eventually merge into the walkers and it was on home, not even Armless standing over the ‘On Home’ sign could stop that. But wait a minute, just as home was just around the corner, the trail diverted into the jungle for one more bash. Off headed Tiger Lily, Shoe Shopper, Wet Patch and a few others. But wait a minute, there was something very fishy about this. Just as I was about to play follow the leader, Maggot confirmed my suspicion. Yep, that was the out trail, they were about to do the run again.
Refusing to believe our shouts of on back, I decided to grab the nearest women I could find and head around the corner for home. And who was that lucky woman?? None other than our fearless leader, Wet n Wild! Realising she had a chance to lead the pack home, she stopped talking for 5 minutes and urged on by a few of males, she actually showed dashing pace and held off all the FRB women to be first home. I kid you not.
Tiger Lily immediately lodged a protest by claiming we missed the final jungle section, thus declaring it a non-race and all bets to be refunded. However, after the stewards, and Hares, confirmed that Tiger was on the out trail, correct weight was called and we can officially record that the GM beat in Tiger, Shopper, Jack Off and some other notable fillies.
Stiffy’s Hash Maths. Toy boy was missing tonight, but I would take an estimated guess at that being a 6km run.
The Circle
Crikey, What did we think of that for a run? How come some short runners did the long run, and some long people did the short? Too many dead Chinamen, not enough dead Chinamen, too many live Chinamen, too many dead ends. The fact that Hooray came in nearly 30 minutes after the pack was mentioned. Good run guys, thanks!
Tell us about your on on mate. A la carte Long House.
Well what about next week? Boo’s 60th run. Venus Drive. Be there! Ably assisted by Too Easy as co Hare, and Quickie on the makan.
Virgins: nope.
Visitors, returnees and other misfits: Great Balls of Fire, Knobby Boy Scout, Phony Dick, Phony Sex, No Come. (But he was here, I saw him?) I did spot Forced Entry, but I did not include her name in this section because she is actually a member and has been since January.
New Member – Armless.
Lippy – Boo, No Come, Wet Patch, Slowcum, In and Out.
The Tits – No Ugly Bum = No Tits
The Dick – I think Lost Marbles may be keeping her hands on it.
Awards - 250 – Shoe Shopper
AOB –
· Jack Off reminds us that we should cross busy roads correctly and safely. True. Then why was the Friday GM stranded in the middle of Lornie Rd when everyone else used the overhead bridge??
· Twin Towers then gave CR a birthday kiss and down down.
· The GM gave Croc Hunter and his assistant a well-deserved Red Packet.
· And of course, all the Chinese were brought in – Gong Xi Fa Cai!
· Gypsy needs a member of the medical profession, so picks Twin Towers, who he thinks would look great in a nurse’s uniform giving him a sponge bath. Anyway, Gypsy sought medical advice for a rash he had and was given a tube of cream. The tube contained a warning – ‘Discontinue use if a rash appears.’ Duhhh.
· Virginia Slim announced the Kampong Chinese New Year run, end of Springleaf.
· Great Balls of Fire arrived late and ran with another late comer who commented how its nice to run when you are late, no need to stop at checks or get caught behind slow runners. So what Mr. Logic, who is enjoying these conditions so much, do? Yep, takes the short split to home. That’s logic for you.
· Tiger Lily saw Too Easy stretching and doing the splits. As she did the splits, Fat Crashing Bastard informed Tiger that she was just warming up for him at home later tonight. You should be so lucky!
· Slowcum was having a beer with Mr. Logic after the run, when he commented that his wife was not back yet. Should he go back and look for her or have another beer?? One more beer please. And how will we know your wife when she comes back? Oh, she’ll be the cranky one was Mr. Logics reply.
· Shoe Shopper heard a distressed female as we were showering and dressing after the run. ‘Oh no, I forgot my bra!’ Shoppers helpful reply – ‘Is that really a problem for you Tiger Lily?’
· It’s all about karma, so Kan Not Can tells us. So is it any wonder that running around a Chinese Cemetery would result in bad karma from the bowels of the Earth. But luckily there was only one injury, although probably not so luckily for Mel who copped a nice swollen twisted ankle.
· The GM charged CR for scaring off all the females by running without a shirt on.
· CR gave a Wet Thong look a like a charge for the vine and branch swing back incident.
· Knobby Boy Scout has a brilliant idea he saw in Brunei – saving the metal ring pulls of the aluminum cans. Knobby, great idea, so great we have been doing it for a few years. See that little pile on the table there?
· Maggot reckons I was lucky to get a swing back to the head, he copped a swing back to his groin. Double ouch.
· Loose Change has a bag of smelly shoes that seem to be non-matching. Kan Not Can was involved, his shoes I believe and something about a cat throwing his shoe out the window so he was left with odd shoes. Oh well, odd shoes, odd person.
· Tiger Lily noticed that Handbag and Phony Sex are both injured and so they did a ‘sight seeing’ walk on their own. On entering the bush, they weren’t seen for another 30 minutes before they emerged again.
· The GM noticed a few couples at the Circle getting a bit carried away. She points out that even if it was Valentines Day recently, there is to be no snogging in the Circle. In comes The Velcros Twins, Virginia Slim and Forced Entry, Comes Quietly and Twin Towers, and Knobby Boy Scout and Kamala.
· Slowcum brings in No Come, evoking Kan Not Can to call them Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum. Apparently No Come managed to come on Slowcums Birthday. Oh my!
On on On on to the LongHouse.
Scribed by Cock Radio.