Circle Report #1916
10th March 2010The ‘Drought Buster,’ Run
Vigilante Dve – Kent Ridge Park
Hares: Armless & Indecent Exposure
The Run
No rain for months, Armless had been worried about the state of his prized pansies and geraniums. Each Saturday night since January he had been performing an ancient traditional German rain dance, which involved dancing naked in his front yard, chanting ‘Kamala, Kamala, Kamala,’ and doing strange things with his Bratwurst Sausage. Finally he was rewarded, and the heavens opened up, thus breaking the drought. But as Indecent Exposure always tells him, it is all a matter of timing – you do not break a drought on the day you are setting a run.
Anyway, arriving to set the run early so as to allow for wash outs is a good idea, although 12pm could be considered excessively early. Was he after a quickie in the car park first? No chance of this as he could not reach the car park, a dirty big tree had fallen across Vigilante Dve, blocking all traffic until National Parks had it cleared at 2pm. Well, 2 pm is still nice and early to start setting the run, but did it still allow time for the quickie?
Anyway, to the run. Down Vigilante we went, and within 20 metres the front group, led by Posh Nash, were off trail, having missed the obvious pink arrows down the path to the right. Down the steps, then into bush, thorns and wilderness for a Circle Check. Back into the park by the lake, and back up the path towards the top.
This was followed by some great gravel trails that wound through the forest on the far side of the hill, lots of thigh busting steps both up and down. Winding our way around the side of the hill through the forest, Jack Off decided to find a look alike for herself. As she was wearing glasses on the run tonight, she tried to disable another runner’s eyes as well. Picking up ½ a tree branch, she flung it in the direction of Bagless 2, who managed to deflect it with a blink of his eye. Aye aye Jack Off, steady!
The hares, having consulted an Occupational Health and Safety Officer for the afternoon, decided for our own good to cut out some of their run because of the amount of rain that had fallen during the day. The threat of landslides, avalanches, rock slides, lightning strikes, tsunamis, tornadoes, cyclones and bush fires was too great to risk the lives of their fellow Hashers, although some of us were prepared to overlook the fire risk.
Anyway, the end result was that front runners were back in some 31 minutes, which was not a problem because we were all safe and well. Some runners felt so safe that they turned around and did the run backwards, although I don’t know if Posh Nash knows how much she put herself at risk by doing it with Shaggy Dick 2. They actually returned with matching shiggy marks on their backs, adding to the intrigue of just what did happen on that reverse loop.
Many other runners did a lovely relaxed loop of the boardwalk, taking in the scenery and refreshing breeze. Most runners opted for their first beer or wine at 6.50, perfect for a Wednesday. Well done Hares, a very nice run and thanks for the rain Armless. Keep your clothes on this Saturday night though!
Stiffy’s Hash Maths. ?? (Webmaster's privelege: about 2.5km).
The Circle
Crikey, What did we think of that for a run? Too long!! Good run!
Tell us about your on on mate. Mr. Ho’s Italian. Free beer.
Well what about next week? Legoless, East Coast.
Virgins:Nope.
Visitors, returnees and other misfits: King Lear, Puss N Boots, Wanker, Bagless 2,Great Balls of Fire, amongst others.
New Member – Great Balls of Fire.
Lippy – Hooray, who pleads his innocence but hasn’t got a leg to stand on.
The Tits – C. Radio noticed everyone showering and changing discreetly, due to the presence of a police car. Well, almost everyone. Shoe Shopper did her best to get arrested by parading ½ naked in full view of the police car, but apparently her boobs were not big enough to be noticed. Here, have these Tits.
The Dick – Gypsy has a difficult task, but noticed there was a distinct lack of calling on tonight’s run. Who was responsible for this? Someone pointed to the person standing on their right, who immediately pointed to the person on their right who likewise did the same thing. This continued ½ way around the Circle until it stopped at Shaggy Dick, who had been talking and did not realise what was happening. On on.
Awards - nope.
AOB –
- Stiffy Has a charge that could be as long as the run. On the way to the run, he noticed an ambulance with its lights and siren on, stuck in traffic. In typical Singapore fashion, no one was prepared to move over or undertake any action that may allow the ambulance to get through. Then he saw a driver, who just happened to be Loose Change, leave a 4 meter gap to allow the ambulance a turning point. But before the ambulance could nudge forward, a 3.9 metre white Mercedes lodged itself into the vacant space. Yes, Boo!
- Kan Not Can is upset. Wanker didn’t do the run but turned up to drink beer and then stole Kamala from him. Boo Hoo.
- Sneaker Comer charged Shaggy Dick 2 for conspicuous showering, while Twin Towers was far more conservative and waited for the police car to leave.
- Maggot has a blonde charge. At a check, he told Shoe Shopper to check left. She went forward, then turned and said 'Which way?' As she was now facing the opposite way, Maggot adjusted his instructions accordingly, and told her ‘Right.’ So Shopper then turned back around and of course went the wrong way. How to confuse a blonde.
- Shoe Shopper observed some Hash name inter mingling happening tonight. Indecent Exposure introduced Wet Patch as ‘Shoe Patch.’ So Shopper gets in a few couples and matches their names around, but the best match went to Loose Change and Slack Arse, with Loose Change becoming Loose Arse. Too much curry??
On on On on to Mr. Ho’s Italian.
Scribed by Cock Radio.