Circle Report #1918
24th March 2010The ’16 years ago this wasn’t a concrete jungle’ Run
HomeTeamNS Adventure Centre, Bukit Batok
Hares: Sybil, Viginia Slim, with special mentions to Confucious and Forced Entry with umbrella
The Run
“Which car park is that?” seemed to be the question on the minds of many, as early arrivers at the run site all seemed to have phones plastered to ears giving directions to the errant and lost. King Lear was lost but had the marines to show him the way. No, we might not have been at this run site for 16 years but there is a map on the web site that might point runners in the right general direction, even if it is Bing.
With a promise of no mud and no deep dark bogs to cross (“yeah right”, we were thinking as we looked at Sybil’s bum (which had encountered mud on the laying of the trail)), it was out the car park gate, across Bukit Batok Road, and into area bordered by Bukit Batok Road, Bricklands Road, and the canal. Lots of little loops and sneaky short-cuts built into the run had FRB’s, SCB’s, and just plain talkers all mingling on regular occasions.
Soon into the run, however, the heavens opened and the best laid plans of the hares started to wash down the paths and into the gutters. The hare was prepared, he had his umbrella girl standing over him as it pissed down. The rest of us started to struggle to find trail and a T-check up the hill towards the dog house took some time to solve. A climb over the hill and back down led us to a circle check that was a little easier to solve once that renowned SCB, Boo, grinned and pointed us all directions but the correct one. Maggot has been around too long to take dodgy legal advice and it was on up the hill again, on down to the canal, and on to the end of any semblance of trail. The pack scattered in all directions but trail was washed away and we had no idea. Following the canal back to Bukit Batok Road was considered as an option, but a plaintive “I don’t want to miss the champagne stop” by the GM had most of us following Boo back around the track to reach the champagne just near the start of the trail. Some of us, however, were determined to find trail, so determined in fact that they stayed out half the night looking for it, allowing many concerned Harriets to wait for them at the drink stop for half the night.
The final challenge was getting down the slippery slope to the road without spilling champagne, successfully navigated by most and on in. Well done hares, good run and great drink stop.
Stiffy’s Hash Maths. Wasn’t consulted, around 5km?
The Circle
Crikey, What did we think of that for a run? Hares MIA when circle is called so we will come back to that.
Well what about next week? Sneaky Comer advises that the “if we have 60 members and everyone sets two runs a year, why do we still have holes in the hareline” run will be at Jalan Kampong Chantek. I think the subtlety was lost on a noisy circle.
Virgins: well we started the run with four virgins but only two showed up in the circle when called. A little investigation revealed that one of the potential virgins found out he wasn’t a virgin while on the run. Why didn’t we get more of that story during the circle. Anyway, welcome to our Navy or Marine or whatever boys, “they’re alright….”
Visitors, returnees and other misfits: Kaptain Kangaroo, Cabin Boy, Crit, Stiff, King Lear, Dog Meat, Mini, Iris, Patrick, YBF, Carol. Welcome.
Hares are ready now, so Crikey, What did we think of that for a run? Too long, too short, too high, too low. Well done hares for a reprise of a great run from 16 years ago. Sybil, Confucious, and Virginia Slim.
Tell us about your on on mate. Karu’s Briyani. No, you don’t have to go to Karu’s, they will come to us. On site. Nice food hares, thanks.
New Member – nope.
The Tits – Maggot has crooked tits so gets some help from Shoe Shopper as he enters the circle. His first candidate for the tits is King Lear, who came to the run by train with Hooray, but apparently was late because he was busy entertaining the Marine boys on the other side of the golf driving range before the run. Is that where one of them discovered he wasn’t a virgin? But no, there is a much better candidate for the tits. What did we find during the run as it was pissing down rain? Forced Entry holding an umbrella over the hare while the hare, Virginia Slim, drank beer. This is a ladies’ hash, isn’t that bringing disgrace to the Harriets? Forced Entry gets the tits and “she aught to be publicly pissed on…”
Lippy – Having found her lippy and the bag it comes in (someone should hold her to account on this one day), the GM calls for naughty boys. On in the marine boys, Dog Meat, Hooray and one or two others I lost track of. The GM had to pause to sharpen her pencil so there must have been a few of those naughty boys.
The Dick – Indecent Exposure asks the circle what a “dong dong” is. Boo is sure it is a Vietnamese runner going fast, but the rest are not so sure. Anyway, Indecent Exposure encountered Not Tonight stopped on trail remarking “this dong dong is very nice” and can only assume she was referring to Stiffy. Not Tonight gets the Dick and wears it proudly all night, reminding us that it is supposed to be a badge of honour, not something to be hidden in the bottom of the laundry basket for weeks on end. C’mon hashers, wear it home if you get it.
GM privilege – Wet Brazilian had some trouble finding her way out of the forest after insisting she would find trail at the canal. The GM wonders how she got lost, given the pants she is wearing, which must have scared off the birds which she could follow home. Give her a note.
Awards - Confucious has done 700 runs! Congratulations. Confucious has donated her award to Breast Cancer Awareness Foundation but deserves at least a bunch of flowers for persistence. Being her birthday she also gets a cake – on on Confucious.
AOB –
- Shoe Shopper is renowned for giving all and sundry a lift to the hash. Tonight, as usual, she got a text message from Lethal Weapon, who works at the school next to hers, asking for a lift. Umm, Lethal Weapon, I am not at school today, we are on holiday. Didn’t you notice the complete absence of teachers, students, parents, buses, and other noisy chaos that is normally associated with a school in session? Apparently not, give the observant one a note.
- Kannot Kan arrived late to the run after receiving comprehensive where the run site is directions from Kan the Kobra. Also arriving late was Handbag. Both needed a quick pee before the run but wait, the toilet facilities are labeled Kings and Queens. Which one should we use. I think this was a charge on Handbag but I was too busy not paying attention.
- The circle is a little quiet so the GM announces that awards voting is open and needs to be done this week (actually, by this weekend please), so go to the web site and good luck finding out how to vote (News section, actually).
- This reminds Handbag that he did try and vote on the web site but nothing works. Can we have the Webmaster in for a drink please? Sneaky Comer reluctantly drinks all the while protesting it is a “user error” (also known as PEBKAC – “problem exists between keyboard and chair”).
- Sneaky Comer was at the infamous circle check with Maggot. Boo was mischievously pointing in all directions for people to go and check, except up the hill. “No, it isn’t that way, I just came from there”. Never trust a lawyer, particularly one laughing as he dispenses advice. Boo, you need better tricks, we are on to you.
- Handbag was somehow partly involved in the rescue of Wet Brazilian and Too Easy who got lost after the canal. He insisted he knew the way to the drink stop and was leading them home but suddenly disappeared into the jungle. Here’s to these two who showed too little faith.
- Virginia Slim steps in to correct this story which is only 50% or less of the truth. As Handbag and Kannot Kan arrived late at the run site, Virginia Slim was heading off to set up the run site. He advised the late comers to follow him, but “no”, they said, “we are real men and we will do the entire run”. Good choice, they were so late back all the champagne was gone.
- Wet Brazilian has Kannot Kan and Handbag in for drinking all the champagne.
- Stiffy enters the circle and remarks that it is well known that after a while, people start to look like their pets. Well, on the hash, people start to look like their hash names. Stiffy saw one Harriet struggling to get a cork out of a champagne bottle at the drink stop – and who was that? Forced Entry.
- The preceding charge was accompanied by lots of gratuitous re-enactments of how Stiffy helped Forced Entry with her bottle, but that is better left out of a family newsletter such as this one. However Sybil pointed out that during drink stop, she had asked Stiffy to help open a bottle but he declined, saying he was a guest and Forced Entry should do it. Not only did Stiffy “help” as previously described, but he also tried to shoot Twin Towers in the ass with a cork. “It’s a small target, but worth aiming at.”
- Wet Brazilian has a blonde charge but Shoe Shopper has departed, so on in Stiffener, Loose Change, Wet n Wild, and Big Head. Usually, Shoe Shopper ducks off at some point in the run for a little wee, but tonight she was quite brazen and just sat down in a puddle on the road to do her thing.
- Virginia Slim asks how many women have men younger than themselves, and is enthusiastically answered by Wet n Wild and Not Tonight. Well, that is appropriate as our run site is surrounded by kids. Welcome to the first annual “pedophile” run – we need a Gary Glitter song.
On on On on to Karu’s packets of Briyani etc on site.
Scribed by Sneaky Comer.