Run Report #2084 15/5/2013

East Coast Park, car park F2

Hares: Wet ‘n Wild, Sneaky Comer

On On: Sunset Bay, a la carte

The Run:

It never rains on the East Coast, except when these 2 Hares set a run there. A warning from the Hares – once you are committed to the run, there is no short cut home. And keep an eye open for Sneaky’s lost pole – was Wet ‘n Wild doing pole dancing in the jungle?

Prepared with roller blades to join the trendy East Coast set, I was soon in trouble as trail went into a nature sanctuary within 20 metres of the beer wagon. Taking a chance, I scooted on down the road past Hooray to the underground pass under the ECP. There was trail. Steps and roller blades don’t go hand in hand, more like arse over tit. Take the handicapped ramp.

Posh Nash leads the dare devil charge across an ECP slip road on a blind bend. Not a good place for your laces to come undone. Into ankle breaking grassland skirting the only remaining patch of jungle on the East Coast. No place for roller blades here. T Check. Obviously Hares could not find the trail leading through the jungle, despite their numerous recces.

Taking another hunch, I found trail leading through bush parallel to the road. Seemed rather similar to last years, but maybe it was the year before. Posh Nash showed us where not to put our feet, her right foot leaving a deep impression in suspect mud on several occasions. Sherlock Holmes would have a field day.

More ankle breaking grassland, again skirting the only patch of jungle left on the East Coast. Comes Quietly discovers trail along the canal, and we finally go into the last remaining jungle on the East Coast. And 10 meters later we are out again, running along the canal. Again, the Hares could not find the trail through the jungle, despite their multitude of recces.

More ankle breaking grassland skirting the same patch of jungle next to the ECP. Into the trail next to the Army Base for what looked like finally some jungle trail. But a T Check brought us back out. Despite a plethora of recees, the Hares could not find the jungle trails.

Now time to put the roller blades back on for a 3km saunter (?) back along the East Coast Park with the beautiful people.

6.6km, front runners in at 55mins and a very strung out pack after that.

Those that didn’t think crossing an ECP slip road on a blind corner was exciting enough then ventured into the pristine waters of the East Coast to cool off. Your scribe has survived (well, up to the time of writing this report anyway.) Keep your eyes open on the health status of Too Easy, Stiff and Comes Quietly.

Great run Hares thanks, although I need to put my roller blades in for a grease and oil change.


The Circle: The GM is trying to fit in with the beautiful people of the East Coast Park set by sporting a new blondish hairstyle that could almost land her a job as the next Sunsilk hair model.


Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Too much jungle, too many roller bladers. How do we get home? Why is it raining?


Tell us about your On On: Sunset Beach – East Coast, not Hawaii where the waves are slightly larger.


Next week’s run: Lorong Sesuai, car park at top, Mother’s Tongue.


Lipstick: Hooray, Comes Quietly, virgin boy.

Then the rest of the males were called in for some reason, and in her excitement, the GM dropped the lippy in the gravel before she applied it to the males. The imbedded gravel ripped facial skin, worse than being kissed by your grandmother. Or Grandfather. Ouch.


Visitors / Returnees: My goodness – we have an official guest list sheet with headings for guests, returnees and virgins. No more pieces of tissue, newspaper and assorted scraps of paper to hand to the scribe. (No more feeble losing excuses for the scribe).

Bagless Too, Stiff (financing the club with guest fees), Frances.


Virgins: Jean Michel. French with American accent and is from China. He got the losing trifecta huh. If there was a Russian connection as well, he would have the ultimate loser quadrella of nationality mix.


New Member: nope.


Tits: Last week, Gypsy asked the Virgin James if he was coming next week.

‘Probably’ was his fatal answer that made certain of him getting the Tits. Unfortunately, his answer of ‘probably’ about returning this week proved to be a ‘no way.’ (Not many virgins on the East Coast?) Gypsy cops a serve.


Dick: Stiffy is still looking for his banana protector.


Awards – nope.



  • Wet Brazilian, as ex GM, tells how she put up with hail, rain and sunshine when she was mismanaging the Circle. So it makes her puke to see the new GM having an umbrella held over by Wet ‘n Wild while she keeps dry running the Circle.
  • Sneaky Comer wants the FRB’s in? Who didn’t pick up paper at the last T Check by the Army Base?? Cock Radio claims innocence because he knew it was a T Check and waited, Posh Nash claimed innocence due to being blind. Frances, have a drink.
  • Sneaky Comer was confirmed as a tall guy; no doubt he cleared all the spider webs. Deb found one however and let all of East Coast know. Call out the Civil Defence.
  • Sneaker Comer can’t believe that Cock Radio found an old metal broom stick, carried it 20 metres before discarding it, and then tried to claim Sneaky Comer’s reward for finding his state of the art walking pole.
  • Pubic Zipp, out at the first of her 9 daily social events at 8.30am rings home to remind Herr Zipp’

    ‘Lock the door when you take the dogs for their morning walk’.

    ‘Yes dear.’

    Moving from the Shangri-La champagne breakfast, the GM arrives at Chimes for Japanese Sushi Saki morning tea at 9.30am.

    ‘Herr Zipp, lock the door when you walk the dogs.’

    ‘Yes dear.’

    Next stop, Raffles Brunch.

    ‘Have you walked the dogs yet?’

    ‘I’m working on it.’

    1.00pm – Mandarin Hotel Orchid.-

    ‘Have you walked the dogs, did you lock the door?’

    ‘Under control dear’

    2.30, GM at the Hyatt. ‘Just want to ask you something but can’t remember what it was.’

    ‘I walked the dogs an hour ago dear.’

    ‘Did you lock the fridge?’

    4.00. Marina Bay Sands – pre dinner cocktails.

    ‘Have you taken the squirrel out yet?

    ‘Later dear, when I go to Geylang.’

    ‘That’s nice Herr Zipper. Don’t forget to lock the cupboard and walk the goldfish. I’m off to Zouk now.’

    ‘Yes dear.’

    • Sneaky Comer immediately is in to remind the GM about the longevity of a marriage – asking the husband to do the same thing within a 6 month period is not on.
    • Hooray calls in all the mothers. Stiff is kicked out, mothers not mother f#*kers. Hooray, out too. Champagne – pretend- drink to the mums.
    • Speaking of Mother’s day. The GM calls in those husbands who did not give their wives a ‘Mother’s Day’ gift on the grounds that their wife is not their mother. On in Bastard Stiff, Bastard Herr Zipp and Bastard Gypsy. Bastards.
    • Hooray has been trying to get a Hash name for new member Deb. But everytime he suggests something to her, she says ‘F#*k off Hooray.’ He suggests ‘Pussyfoot,’ ‘Ants in the Bush,’ and other woozy names etc etc. The response to these suggestions was ‘F#*k Off Hooray.’ No doubt ‘F#*k Off Hooray’ was a winner. Something everyone is happy to say.
    • A car drove through the Circle at this stage, against the one way traffic. Gypsy said something like ‘You f#*king bodo, one way, read the f#*king arrows. Are you from Singapore or what?’ He may have said ‘Careful,’ but I am not sure.
    • Sunday Hash Bukit Brown, Kampong Saturday at Bukit Batok.


On that note, On On to the On.

Scribed by Cock Radio.


On On Report – Sunset Bay. A la carte. Lacking in Sunset, high in spirit. 18 people at dinner, thanks for coming, even if the restaurant was very thingy about bringing in your own booze.


A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.
The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.

The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency
open heart bypass surgery.

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the
Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard
loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to
pay for his treatment.

“Do you have health insurance?” she asked.

He replied in a raspy voice, “No health insurance.”

The nun asked, “Do you have money in the bank?”

He replied, “No money in the bank.”

Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?”
asked the irritated nun.

He said, “I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun.”

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, “Nuns are not spinsters!
Nuns are married to God.”

The patient replied, “Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law.”

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One Response to Run Report #2084 15/5/2013

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