Run Report #2145 09/07/2014

Hares: Comes First, Dragon Breath, Butt Wiper & Teeny Weeny Willie & his ferret

Run Site: Blk 30 Dover Rd

On On: 99 Kitchen

The Run:

Cool evening so the runners enjoyed the tour of the Science Park whilst the walkers reminisced about the Colbar and what Portsdown Road used to be like. Turn right at the railway, said the hare – “What railway?” said the newbys.


“Good Run” and many thanks to the hares Dragon Breath, Butt Wiper & Teeny Weeny Willie for standing in for Comes First who was not looking herself thanks to a nasty bug. Apparently we did a backwards Sunday Hash run. Named the ‘Yorkshire Run’ the hares sported natty tweed caps and a ferret on the shoulder – but the detours into the shrubbery were no match for the Yorkshire Dales! Great Yorkshire gin and tonic drink stop assisted by FCB. THANKS hares!


Cumpuss, Foetus, Booty Camp, Snowblower and Ditch,


Returnees: None


Virgins: None


Lipstick: Comes Quietly (“Not here” he said, hiding under his Dick),

Hooray (“Not on the lips”) Kannot Kan (took it like a man).


Tits: Too Easy had various candidates No1. Butt Wiper for setting checks that not even a blonde would fall for! No 2. Goes Down Easy for sticking to the first Alpha male as F#Easy is out of town No 3. FCB for having a faulty erection at the drink stop and running off with the car keys ……..No contest = FCB.


Dick: Comes Quietly’s charge involved Dragon Breath’s fascination with Teeny Weeny Willie’s ferret but he was too quiet for me to catch the story.


Awards – nope.



‘Budweizer’ was charged by Sybil for putting his arm around her and taking her in the wrong direction so she missed the drink stop!


Dragon Breath charged FCB for being able to talk more than her and for telling her how good he was at erections. That’s the last time she will accept his help in putting up the drink stop table.


Dragon Breath charged the hare Comes First (look alike Goes Down Easy) for asking for a co-hare a week ago; falling sick yesterday so more hares were recruited; and adding can you do a drink stop?; and where will you have your on-on? ….. singing “She ought to be …..!”


Not Tonight charged Boxer with spraying her with citronella/anti mate when Stiffy is out of town and she is just about to pack in writing the circle report and can at last enjoy her evening.


Goes Down Easy charged Tiger Lily with missing a good looking guy in the jungle who said to her “you ran past me twice!” but how did she still get to the drink stop first?


Sweet Thighs pointed out how high class Snow Blower and Booty Camp’s for carrying designer water bottles on the run….well she knows a thing or two about accessories.


Forced Entry wanted to know how Sybil gets away with molest? Ask Tiger Lily or Comes Quietly for the answer.


On on to the On On.

Scribed by Not Tonight

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Run Report #2143 25/06/2014

Hares: Wet n Wild & Sneaky Cummer

Run Site: Bt Brown Cemetery

On On: Red Lantern


The Run:

Despite of many areas being cordoned off for exhumation, the hares were able to lay the trail at the cemetery without letting the runners feel that the exhumation is going on. Creative run and most of all a Tequila and Gin jello stop (not a drink stop, but a having to suck the jello out of the small recycled containers. “The great sucking stop” was yelled out). The men did a better at that than the ladies:-(……Great run!


Guests: Snow Blower, Betty Boop, Bugle Boy, 14 Penguins, Dragon Breath, Bud Wiper.


Returnees: Nope


Virgins: Nope


Lipstick: Butt Wiper, Snow Blower, Hooray, Gypsy, F*#king Easy, Bugle Boy, Cums Quietly, Fat Crashing Bastard, Posh Duck.


Tits: Goes Down Easy has them. Down Down to her.


Dick: Goes Down Easy has it too. Another round of down down.


Banana Protector:
Father Anus, not here. Come back soon!!!


Awards – nope.



Sneaky Cummer on F*#king Easy who has lived in SG long enough and should know that sub division of the cemetery does not mean that condos and housing will be built on it right away. It takes year….. (maybe 20 years) before any redevelopment can take place…He’s alright, he’s alright, he’s a little bit ??? but he’s alright!


Zip commented that she was sad to come to the run site and see the cemetery is undergoing exhumation for redevelopment. However, she said that it was a great run and that the jello stop was spectacular. She had no idea that the jello came in 2 colors until Sybil told to try the other color. The hare said that she recycled the container, Zip was about to comment that it was a brilliant idea and Ayam Kampong very quickly broke the lid and used it as a scoop as she could not suck out the content…She ought to be publicly pissed on….


Dragon Breath called in Croc Hunter and Jackoff. Jackoff was to translate to Croc Hunter that the way she ate her drink was very exquisite at the jello stop. Apparently she liked to suck slowly. However, CH would use a spoon to eat his drink, being defined and all…Here’s to them, they’re true blue…


Stiffy charging Jackoff for what she actually said when everyone was struggling with the jelly she said she did this to Slocum every night but she could not explain how she did it…She’s alright!


Jackoff on Dragon Breath that she is a woman too when “I need a woman” is called. She said she was not fast enough and that Butt Wiper would get upset with her. ButtWiper was called in and was told to deal with it no matter how slow the woman is in front of him. He was given a double lipstick and a down down of course.


Sweet Thighs on Goes Down Easy for forgetting the tits, the prick and for the umpteen times, she had forgotten her running shoes. Lucky for her, Croc Hunter had a supply of running shoes for her….She ought to be publicly pissed on…


Sybil on F*#king Easy lost in translation


Dragon Breath on Butt Wiper for claiming that he was very good with his tongue when he stuck his tongue in the jelly. Question was, when was he ever good with his tongue? He’s the meanest…..


Butt Wiper on Goes Down Easy that hashers run no matter what the weather. Goes Down Easy and BW and a few were training for the Hash Challenge at MaRitchie on last Sunday morning. It started to pour. GDE asked if they were going to run in the rain and decided that she was not to run…..She is the meanest….


Bugle Boy…what will we do without him? Called in the hares. BB overheard a conversation between them. The conversation went like this.

WW: Honey, would you see another woman if I were to die?

SC: Possibly

WW: Honey, would you sleep with another woman if I were to die?

SC: Maybe

WW: Honey, would you marry another person if I were to die?

SC: Perhaps

WW: Honey, if you were to marry some body, would you sleep in the same bed that we sleep in?

SC: Maybe

WW: Honey, If I were to die, would you play golf with another woman?

SC: I think so

WW: If so, would you let her use my golf clubs?

SC: No!

WW: Why not?

SC: Because she is left handed!!!!!!!! Oh Oooooooo


On on to the Red Lantern

Scribed by Jackoff (with the help of Fat Crashing Bastard recording the circle)

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Run Report #2142 18/6/2014

Hares: Comes First

Run Site: Stagmont Ring

On On: Coffe Shop opposite CP


The Run:

“A lotta running” “Simple, straightforward like the hare” “What a fantastic walk in the sunshine” “Good trail”


14 Penguins,
Ditch and Bugle Boy


Returnees: None


Virgins: Did we scare off the twins?


Lipstick: On in ALL the ladyboys – Ditch,
Comes Quietly, Gypsy, F*#Easy, Hooray, Bugle Boy and Slocum


Tits: Dick:

Would you believe that our esteemed committee member Goes Down Easy could forget BOTH the Tits and the Dick?! Shameful! So can we trust her to look after the Harriet’s cash? In her defence, she does have to hide the Tits from the kids and F*#Easy.


Banana Protector:
Father Anus, see you both in August?


Awards – nope.



  • Sybil charged by The Boxer for
    asking Croc Hunter for ice to put down her knickers to cool herself – well that’s what the pantomime looked like to the observer. We all sang ‘Hands, fingers, knees and toes’ so perhaps the ice was needed for more orthopaedic reasons?


  • Ditch charged a dedicated a hasher for taking her running gear to a Beerfest???? What’s unusual about that?


  • Bugle Boy was interested to know what the GM had inscribed in lipstick on his head “An upside down pretzel” said Goes Down Easy authoritatively. Ladies – is there a correct way up for a pretzel? You live and learn.


  • Bugle Boy disclosed information about Sweet Thighs’ sex life which I will not disclose here. However Bugle Boy did divulge
    to Not Tonight that 14 Penguins “had him in a very relaxed state tonight.”


  • Forced Entry asked the hare, why she chose the run site? It’s on my way to work replied Comes First.


  • Sybil asked Slocum “Why are you cycling up and down the track?” – “looking for dark girls of course!” Dark girls in the ring tra la la la lah!


  • Zip was amazed at how many ‘Captains of Industry’ there are in the circle and called in ‘False Entry’ who is famous on TV


  • F*#Easy is needed at Bugle Boys house on Sunday mornings to make breakfast so that 14 Penguins can stay in bed


  • More marital disord was revealed – apparently every time Melanie tries to talk to Gypsy – he says “Zip”


  • Zip reminisced about what a famous run site was Stagmont Ring with acres of beautiful jungle (yes, the building sites opposite). She was out doing a recce with Sybil
    (both directionally challenged) and got lost – barely making it back for Dancers with Kerbs’ wedding (not sure if she was on the recce too?) And that is how Stag Mount ring got it’s name!


HARES NEEDED for 9th July

On on to the On On.

Scribed by Not Tonight

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Run Report #2141 11/6/2014

Hares: Bugle Boy

Run Site: Mackenzie Rd

On On: Colonial Bistro Cafe


We skirted the Istana (no permit was obtained for running inside but the glimses we got thru the gates were tantalizing), we did Orchard Rd and Little India – and we said, “Very cultural, too many Indians, absolutely fantastic, some of you women are fast, more checks, not so well marked (Hooray can’t see pink chalk),

Sybil said, “A great runners run and I covered almost all of it.”

Great run and much longer than Friday’s – that’s what we girls like!


Ditch, Miscarriage and James


Returnees: None


Virgins: Yong (James’ twin)


Lipstick: Comes Quietly, Hooray, Slocum, FCB and Stiffy. The only truly deserving cases were James, Yong and Miscarriage


Tits: We had to wait a few weeks for these whilst they moved house with Wet Brazilian – They were awarded to ‘girly’ wanabe hare, Bugle Boy for marking the trail with pink chalk and Hello Kitty toilet paper bows tied around trees.


Dick: Forced Entry? Anyone know where she has gone for such a long time with the Dick?


Banana Protector:
Father Anus, not here.


Awards – nope.



Sweet Thighs charged Tiger Lily for relying on a virgin to find the trail! The Singaporean virgin Yong (on in James as look-a-like) was charged with calling the Grand Mistress, “Auntie” when he did not know what to do at a check… boys it is not polite to call us Harriets “Auntie”… you must shout, “I need a woman.” Our Ozzie visitor, Miscarriage charged the hare for his disappointed at having been given a tour of the Red Light District without knowing where he was and seeing nothing. Whilst James said he had seen more of Singapore tonight than in his entire life!



Bugle boy called for a moment of silence for 14 penguins – will anyone take this guy seriously? His wife obviously stopped listening some time ago. Other husbands showed their love for their spouses – FCB met Too Easy’s – exwho is still celebrating after many years!” Slocum charged Jackoff for “chatting up the young visitors” whilst the circle yelled that she was simply doing her job as Grand Mistress! Comes Quietly was extra quiet on this run thanks to drinking Cambodia dry last week. Sorry Kannot Kan & Wet Brazillian – I ran out of paper – just get there to hear the banter for yourself next week.


Thanks to Boxer for singing Happy Birthday to Not Tonight who missed the cake last week because Stiffy (as speculated) was being romantic!


On on to the On On.

Scribed by Not Tonight

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Run Report #2140 4/6/2014

Hares: Cock Radio

Run Site: Jalan Mempurong (Sembawang Park area)

On On: Restaurant 1036

and I quote:

“Too far! Not enough runners! Not enough guests! No virgins! Not too long! Not too short! Too many shooting stars” Good run! Awesome run! Best run!”


The Circle:

Guests: Penile Extension


Half Cut


Virgins: none

Lipstick: All the boys. Not that many though. Namely: Cock Radio, Kannot Kan, Penile Extension, Gypsy, Peppy and Jo


Tits: Not here (Stand-in tits: Loose Change. She always has them:-)


Dick: Forced Entry? not here. (Stand-in Dick: Cock Radio)


Banana Protector:
Father Anus, not here. (Stand-in BP: Gypsy)


Awards – nope.



Gypsy: All about soap charges. Chris (Wet & Wild) and Chris (Loose Change) were called in for being responsible for the woolite stored in the miniaturized container that gypsy mistook it for travel sized shampoo, and used it to shampoo his ‘hair’. Thus he smells lite…woolite. He’s all lite, he’s all lite, he’s a little bit a woolite, but he’s all lite…


Penile Extension: Half-Cut tells Sweet Thighs that she had arrived in to Singapore on Monday but in actual fact, she has arrived last Friday. Here’s to forgetful she’s true bloo….


Sweet Thighs: Tiger Lily being the fastest runner claims that she can never find the trail marked by Cock Radio. There again, she could never find any trail set by anyone. B-Y-M-B-O, bymbo was her namo…..


Tiger Lily: Cock Radio for not using enough flour, chalk and toilet paper to lay the trail. Resulting to TL for not being able to find the trails. She has declared CR a Scottish. In his defend, CR claims that National Park forbids the use of flour on the soil as it changes the composition of the soil. What a load of BS as the flour was used on concrete. He’s the meanest, he sucks the……Kamala defended CR saying that she saw every drop of flour, every piece of TP and every chalk marking. How is it an elder person with poor eyesight can all those markings and TL could not? She ought to be publicly pissed on…..


Wet & Wild: Cock Radio and Sneaky Cummer pride themselves that every woman needs them. CR was running late setting the run, he calls on W&W to help out on the drink stop. Look who really needs a woman now?


Kannot Kan: CR has advertised on the web site that there would be a drink stop by the beach. F#*king Easy, Kannot Kan, Loose Change, Susie Wong, Too Easy and Mother Tongue run through all of Sembawang Park and could not find it. They were looking at the wrong place. Zipp was the only person who was able to lead a group of ladies to the drink stop. They ought to be publicly pissed on….


Tiger Lily: Gypsy for calling on ‘need a woman with breasts’.

Gypsy: CR for organizing a great drink stop. But too many shooting stars. That is not the worst of it. It made Gypsy looking like this.


Tonight is Loose Change’s last run. The circle was specially dedicated to her. We are going to miss her very much. Lenie has so kindly made a beautiful Tiramisu for her. GM also calls in Wet & Wild to share the cake as it is her birthday.


Bonus Circle Report

Must have been a good drink stop, we were sent two run reports and a recording of the circle after the run. Here is the bonus report sent by Zipp:


After the drink stop, mia culpa but this is all I remember:



The run was great, culminating in a lush drink stop. The lush recipe, a famed recipe of the Radio family (formerly known as the Wireless family) was never revealed. So no one knows that absolut-ly three bottle of vodka, half bottle of rum, a sprinkling of apple grape juice, cranberry juice and a dash of sprite were used in that cocktail. The Radio family’s favourite son, Cock, said that if I tell you, I will have to kill you.



The GM piroutted into the circle and dedicated circle #2140 to the lush, Loose Change who was leaving Singapore’s fair – if not extended – shores after 28 years. We will miss her laugh, her friendship and her unflagging dedication to the hash. Ooh, what a gal!



Gypsy waltzed in and started spouting off about soaps. He went into this tirade about moving things around for his houseguests and therefore forgot his regular soap for the hash shower. Fortunately he did find a small bottle of body wash in the car and used that. While lathering up, however, he recognized the smell as that of Woollite and realised that he now smelt of Zipp’s newly laundered knickers. To share his soapy down down, he called in Loose Change and Wet and Wild. It turns out that Zipp’s favorite brand of soap is Lush. It also turned out that both Loose Change and Wet & Wild are lushes too. Loose Change was spotted drinking Cock Radio’s conCocktion from a two litre jug. Wet & Wild had a smaller drinking vessel but obviously went back for refills far too often. Every time she bent over to help others to refill, she spilled her cup. Here’s to the lushes!



Sybil said, Sooooooo, clever Zipp (who does not drink) managed to get to the correct beach where the drink stop was. NB. Sybil’s charge was paraphrased from the original seven paragraphs. During the charge she did the bhangra forming two figure of eight’s in the circle.



Zipp and Dances of Kerbs tangoed into the circle (sans rose between the teeth) and thanked Cock Radio for his newsletter. In reference to his last newsletter and his hare for the evening, they begged the question, who the f**k is Alice. (The newsletter mentioned that his co-hare was Alice Cooper.) To which, totally unrehearsed, he said, ‘Cos for 24-years I’ve been living next door to Alice.



Eleven hashers supported the hare at the On On of the year. The punch bowl of lush was placed in the centre of the table and everyone partook of the amble fluid. We have selfies to prove it or NOT. The camera went round a few times. The combination of lush and a total lack of understanding of what a selfie entailed, meant that the resulting shots looked like they were taken by some very drunk hashers!



The food was excellent and we were actually singing. Who said the Harriet’s don’t sing. We absolutely do sing. Now, the $64 question, can the Harriet’s sing? Cannot!



Take-always from the On On:

Did False Entry leave the On On with her top down?

Were the last two men left at the On On joined by two from a bar on the strip? Sadly, were the two from the strip male?



The Jakarta Hash Challenge (Google it) NOT in Jakarta but will be on 30th August. Sign up for best price before 30th June.


Kuala Lumpur Hash House Harriets 40th Anniversary Ball on 13th June and Anniversary Run on 18th June. Registration forms were mailed to all members last week and are also available on the Singapore Harriets facebook page.


On on to the On On. Jackoff

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Run Report #2139 28/5/2014

Hares: F—— Easy

Run Site: Lower Pierce Reservoir Car Park

On On: Thumbs Up Chinese Restaurant, Casuarina Road


The Run:

Confidently explaining there was a long/short split, the hare failed to advise that the split would be about 7:20pm and lead anyone foolish to try it to scramble through the thickest vine of rattan he could find, up and down slippery slopes, in pitch black darkness. But I digress.


Something unusual for this run site – out over the dam, with no markings to offend any NParks officials out checking. Markings finally showed up at the drain at the end of the dam, and led us out onto Thomson Road. The visiting Navy boys were chasing some of our younger members, who led them merrily to a check heading south on Upper Thomson. We turned around and headed across the road to Jalan Chempedak, where another T-check turn the Navy boys around. Up Jalan Lanjut to (I think) Jalan Chengam which then led us (via various back roads and canals) to the Thomson Walk area. I lost track then but somehow we got into the forest over Yio Chu Kang Road down Munshi Abdullah Walk and then through the forest to Tagore Road. Up Tagore Lane and down Tagore Lane and back into the forest behind the industrial estate, to find that most of it has been bulldozered. Out onto Tagore Drive, Tagore Industrial Ave (who comes up with these creative names), down the other end of Tagore Lane, and out onto Upper Thomson again. We cross the road at Tagore Road and here the long / sensible split occurred. Foot Fetish, Kannot Kan, and Sneaky Comer took the brave but stupid route through the rattan/forest, cursing all the way back to Old Upper Thomson Road. Smarter people just took the road back home. Nice run, thanks hares. Very original, but suggest doing the forest in daylight next time J


The Circle:


Hare in the Circle: Agreed it was a great run since the hare was going to provide free beer at the On-on.


Tell us about your on on: Thumbs up Chinese restaurant on Casuarina (fabulous food, by the way).


Guests: Jackoff Ginger, Niel, Eric, Eddy, James, No Name J, Andrew, Jack, Adam, Totally Unacceptable, Penile Extension, Ditch, Rachel, Bugle Boy, 14 Penguins, Phoney Dick, Trash, Foot Fetish.
We had to wait for the navy guys to drink their beers.




Virgins: two of the Navy boys were virgins, from memory.


Lipstick: The boys from the US Navy, Kannot Kan and Foot Fetish


Tits: Not present (Wet Brazilian).


Dick: Forced Entry? not here.


Banana Protector:
Father Anus, not here.


Awards – nope.



Tiger Lily: called the hare and demand “where is the other side of dam” is.


Wanda: gave both Tiger Lily and Foot Fetish a charge and drink.


Comes First: is charged for language barrier.


Foot Fetish: to Tiger Lily for charging ‘F*#king Easy F*#ked up run”


KNK: Charged the Navy boys for being slow as they were not following the markings of the trails. They are following Tiger Lily instead. Tiger Lily and her 10 tiger cubs were charged together.


Bugle Boy: Talks about In & Out and Susie Wong was called in on his behalf. Tells he was lost and looked for help. He calls in Rachel as beautiful woman. In & Out told him if he talks to beautiful women, out of nowhere Susie Wong appears. Down down to the both Susie Wong and Rachel.


Wet & Wild: calls in 3 Virgin navy boys for bearing their nipples at the circle. She offered Sybil, Ayam Kampong, and Trash to help them “cover up”.




The Jakarta Hash Challenge (Google it) NOT in Jakarta but will be on 30th August. Sign up for best price before 30th June.


Kuala Lumpur Hash House Harriets 40th Anniversary Ball on 13th June and Anniversary Run on 18th June. Registration forms were mailed to all members last week and are also available on the Singapore Harriets facebook page.


On on to the On On.


Thanks to 14 Penguins for taking the notes!

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Run Report #2138 21/5/2014

Hares: Wet Brazilian

Run Site: Mount Sinai Rise

On On: E-Sarn


The Run: No.2138 and I quote:

“Too short, ball breaker, run of the year, a runners run, virgin jungle (Did I mishear? – her husband did the virgin?!) At 8.5 k, even my short run was long. Thanks Wet Brazilian and mystery man.


The Circle:


Guests: 5 girls: 3 guys – Dragon Breath again & also good to see Cumpus & the return of my ‘Hash God daughter’, Suckswallow.

Butt Wiper, Foot Fetish, Bugle Boy & family of 14 Penguins with daughter Coke Head.


Stiffner & Stiff (who were so special they received 2 down downs as both visitors and returnees)


Virgins: none – so were they with Wet Brazilian’s husband? (I’m lost)


Lipstick: Butt Wiper, Comes Quietly, Kannot Kan, Stiffy (for biking) Hooray (for starting before the ladies) (and the others for coming before the ladies)


Tits: Comes Quietly (entered the circle wiping his sweaty brow between the tits ) and awarded them to the hare Wet Brazilian for calling “looking” when she was trying to find the trail set by her husband!


Dick: Forced Entry? not here.


Banana Protector:
Father Anus, not here.


Awards – nope.



Sneaky Comer had a sense of direction charge for
Too Easy & Wet Brazilian
when they arrived at the long/short split at 7:20. Kannot Kan tried to add on to this charge, but the poor boy hardly spat out one word before Sybil says, “Come to the point!” (Pot calling the kettle black?) Apparently, KK was doing the run in reverse so he was desperately signing clues to Too Easy (she thought that he was either ‘illogical’ or flashing at her).


Bugle Boy brought his daughter, Coke Head to the hash to prove to us that she wasn’t pregnant by forcing her to be a front runner – then he proceeded to tell us about 14 Penguins and Coke Head sitting on a plane to Bali with a catholic nun (perhaps it was only 13 penguins and 1 catholic nun?) Mother’s Tongue approved of this joke so bring your daughter again.

Butt Wiper charged Ayam Kampong for going to the Seletar Hash without a dick.

Tiger Lily asked, “What do Goes Down Easy, Lost Marbles, Butt Wiper and F—— Easy have in common?” They were all useless at First Aid when Goes Down Easy lived up to her name again by falling on her elbow.




The Jakarta Hash Challenge (Google it) NOT in Jakarta but will be on 30th August. Sign up for best price before 30th June.


Kuala Lumpur Hash House Harriets 40th Anniversary Ball on 13th June and Anniversary Run on 18th June. Registration forms were mailed to all members last week and are also available on the Singapore Harriets facebook page.


On on to the On On.


Not Tonight

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Run Report #2137 14/5/2014

Hares: Stiffy & Not Tonight

Run Site: Pepys Rd

On On: 99 Kitchen, s. Buona Vista

The Run: No.2137 and I quote:

Mother’s Tongue, “Brilliant! It was soft, it was long, it was uphill, it was downhill, it was nature all the way.” Dancers with Kerbs, “Nice, we could short cut but the marking was a bit sparse.” (Stiffy said he was being environmental – but Comes Quietly was suspicious – whilst others said, “let’s have a whip round for Stiffy to buy him some chalk”) Foot Fetish said, “Good green run, better than Coo Chi Coos!”

“Great drink stop” which is to be Loose Changes last before she leaves Singapore at the end of the month– vodka cranberry special – Two bottles of vodka to one cranberry got us waxing lyrical about Tembusu trees flowering & a full moon over the circle


The Circle:


Guests: 5 guys and Dragon Breath, Suck-a-Pussy, Foot Fetish, Dead Fish, Bugle Boy, Butt Wiper


Slippery Bum returning to her favourite run site


Virgins: none


Lipstick: Bugle Boy, Foot Fetish, Butt Wipe, Wimber, Hooray


Tits: Jackoff awarded the tits to Comes ‘Alone’ Quietly for …. then he has the audacity to have phone sex IN THE CIRCLE!


Dick: Forced Entry ? not here.


Banana Protector:
Father Anus, not here.


Awards – nope.



Tiger Lily called in Comes Quietly and Butt Wiper to tell them about a Japanese TV programme called “Shiri-nugui” (translated as bum wiping!… a must see if you go to Japan) This is just what she had to do when she found their toilet paper after their run in the green corridor – so she cleared up after them … “Shiggynewgee” “Shiggynewgee” we shouted.

Bugle Boy charged Mother’s Tongue for picking him up with Tight Bastard as they walked to the run site and driving the poor innocent lads out into the countryside where they met an orange dog …. Oh no it’s one of Bugle Boys stories again.

Foot Fetish tells a story about Bugle Boy’s pregnant daughter – I didn’t know he had a grown-up daughter?!



Dragon Breath charged the experienced Grand Mistress (in her second term of office) to name several associate members – she confidently names Budweizer, Stifey, Comes Alone, Food Fetish and Bugger Boy.




Sucka Pussy advertises The Jakarta Hash Challenge (Google it.) He stressed that it is NOT in Jakarta but will be on 30th August. Sign up for best price before 30th June.

Sybil suggests that none of the Harriets are up-to-it! She just wanted a down-down.


On on to the On On.

2 tables at 99 Kitchen – great Chinese spicey food to rival Red Lanterns. No singing but we were all happy after an all-round good night!


Not Tonight

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Run Report #2136 07/05/2014

The: Bring Back the Old Committee (AGM) Run.

Hares: Comes Quietly. Drink stop by Committee.

Run Site: Top of Jalan Gaharu, near Mayfair Park.

On On: Southaven II by Mr Hoe.National Parks

The Run: A male setting the women’s AGM Run? Was Comes Quietly making a last minute bid for Harriet’s Hero? Then a massive downpour – was this his attempt at Wettest Run? And sending runners into the middle of the field at Old Holland Rd – was this an Irish last minute attempt for longest run? And vodka and cranberry on the old railway line near Mayfair Park – best drink stop? Then back to his condo for the AGM – a last ditched effort for best on on? Comes Quietly could scoop the pool of awards tonight. Oh yes, he did provide a swimming pool for the Associate Members. In fact 2 pools.

Along the edge of the PIE and past the infamous coral snake tunnel. Much sliding on the long slippery grass, Goes Down Easy was being imitated by a number of runners as they descended bum first onto Jalan Chantek. A devious Circle Check in the jungle saw everyone back out onto Jln Chantek (possibly because the Hare couldn’t bush bash through to the coral snake stream).

A treacherous green slime concrete descent got the brave or foolhardy runners into the Durian trail. Others opted for the safer road route. Yours truly, Stiff and Ayam Kampong thought they had cleverly broken a Check, only to find themselves running trail in reverse and colliding head on with the FRB’s . Bugger.

Across Chantek, squeezing past the wire fence. The Hare then doubled backed on his trail sort of, and headed towards the Swiss and British Club instead of the greenery of Bukit Timah. Checking out the Red Lantern, the Hare remembered how the Irish set a marathon from the end of Rifle Range Rd once by putting a Circle in the middle of the Old Holland Rd Field. Well, we hadn’t come from quite the end of Rifle Range, so the Hare decided on a Half Marathon instead. It was a long trot back along the old railway line to the drink stop near Mayfair Park.

65 minutes for the FRB’s. +++ for the rest. Walkers got there very quickly.


The Circle: The GM, who is seeing shooting stars, calls the circle to order.


Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Too short, too wet, far canal. Good run.


Tell us about your On On: After a short circle we will proceed to Hinhede Walk, Southaven II, for the AGM and dinner.


Next Week’s Run: Top of Pepys Road, by Stiffy.


Guests: yes, but no list – welcome everyone.


Returnees: nope.


Virgins: nope.


Lipstick: no list, I recall Hooray, Cock Radio, and Slocum for getting to the drinks stop first?


Tits: Cock Radio points out that while a pool has been provided for Associate members for this AGM run; it was not before the committee coopted an Associate member to set the run, arrange a venue for the AGM, ask the Associate members to cook dinner, and enquire as to whether the AGM might best be accompanied by Comes Quietly’s wine collection. The GM gets the tits for AGM arrangements.


Dick: still with Forced Entry.


Banana Protector: Father Anus, not here.


Annual Run Awards:


Best Run Forced Entry, Boxer, and Penile Extension Lower Seletar Reservoir Run 2100, September 4th 2013
Longest Run Wet Brazilian and Posh Nash Mt Sinai Rise Run 2112, November 20th 2013
Shortest Run Zipp and Gypsy Jalan Lam Sam Run 2092, July 10th 2013
Wettest Run Cock Radio and Sneaky Comer Cheval, Turf Club Run 2108, 40th Anniversary Run, October 26th 2013
Most Creative Run Goes Down Easy and F%^kin’ Easy Lower Pierce Reservoir Run 2097, August 14th 2013
Best Drink Stop Too Easy and Fat Crashing Bastard Lorong Sesuai Run 2093, July 17th 2013
Best On On Stiffy and Not Tonight Pepys Rd (on on at 99 South Buona Vista Kitchen) Run 2013, November 27th 2013
Harriets Hero Gypsy    




  • Not Tonight points out that the Associate members do so much for the club, some of them could be compared with Michelangelo’s David. Unfortunately, David has a rather small member. So all the small members are called in.


Sorry, with all the festivities there isn’t much of a record of the AOB charges. Apologies to all who were missed.

On on to the On On.

Scribed by Cock Radio and Sneaky Comer

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Run Report #2135 30/4/2014

The Goes Down on a Foot Fetish Run.

Hares: Goes Down Easy and Foot Fetish.

Run Site: 80 Chay Yan St, 160080. Outdoor Carpark.

On On: on site by local Chinese.

The Run: It was good to see Boo arrive, as many of the old timers looked around nervously at the run site – we could forsee a Police visit given the enclosed nature of the site.

The run went out the front entrance and back in the back entrance. Between that it is a bit hard to be sure, the run covered a lot of new territory and not much of it was familiar. In addition, “someone” had monkeyed with the run, putting arrow heads on both ends of arrow marks, putting T-checks where there wasn’t supposed to be one, and mucking with circles. I think we went over Outram Hill and Pearl’s Hill, we certainly circumnavigated the Pinacle @ Duxton, and we went through a lovely shophouse area which may have been Blair Lane. We definitely ran through the old marshalling yards from the KTM railway station (quick, run through it before they put a condo and a shopping centre there), then along the start of the green corridor back to Bukit Merah before heading back home. Nice run.


The Circle: Goes Down Easy, who also accepted subs and fees earlier, is the stand in GM (again). And oh my, that’s what I call a pair of F#*k Me Shoes. A special award for bravery for wearing them on the car park surface, which might explain why GDE was so keen to move the circle to the centre of the car park.



Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Back to front arrows, too short. Good run.


Tell us about your On On: On site Chinese food, free beer if you stay.


Next Week’s Run: AGM run by Comes Quietly, top of Jalan Gaharu (near Mayfair Park). (Comes Quietly was checking out the free beer as his name was called).


Guests: Alan, King Leer, Golden Shower, Dimples, IPood, Zaineb, Foot Fetish.


Returnees: nope.


Virgins: nope.


Lipstick: Ipood, Hooray, Foot Fetish.


Tits: absent [Cock Radio].


Dick: in a bag with Sweet Thighs, who is handing them on for Ditch. Had been planning to give them to the GM, which was made more easy as she went to her car and Goes Down Easy told her “oh, I need that Dick so badly”. Goes Down Easy complains that she has too many jobs tonight – collecting money, haring, and being the GM. So Goes Down Easy calls Forced Entry into the circle to join her for a drink – for giving her all these jobs.


Banana Protector: Father Anus, not here.


Awards – nope.



  • Not Tonight calls for a Stiffy. When the Dick was announced, Stiffy started panicking. “Where did you put the Dick”, he asked Not Tonight? “No dear”, she replied, “you have the Prick, that is from Friday, a completely different hash”.
  • Foot Fetish was upset that “someone” messed with the hash, putting arrowheads on both ends of the arrows, drawing T’s in the wrong place, etc. It must have been a hasher. So after the run, a few people “incriminated” themselves by drawing remarkably similar markings in the carpark – on in Comes Quietly, Ayam Kampong, and Hooray.
  • Stiffy has the hares in the circle – what markings were they using anyway? Since when does a hash mark have a “W” next to it, and what does “W” mean? Women’s? Wednesday’s?
  • Not Tonight is very happy to see Comes First back at the hash, and she asked her what had kept her away? A greyhound, was the answer. Was it a female greyhound?
  • Wet ‘n Wild points out that Goes Down Easy is in lovely F%^k Me Shoes. So lovely, she resembles a lady of the night. So as Wet ‘n Wild was running along, GDE “lured” her to a short cut, causing her to miss the long/short split and be lured to a long run.
  • Stiffy weighs in on the theme, asking Goes Down Easy if she had anything to do with the bakery down the road? Why? Because it “specializes in tarts”.
  • Comes Quietly reminds the GM it was Hooray’s birthday on Monday.
  • Foot Fetish points out that Alan has no hash name. Alan was very “Tarzan-esque” in crossing the canal to the KTM yard, which prompted some attempted Monkey boy naming (eg Urban Monkey), but a decision was deferred.
  • Golden Shower asks Wet ‘n Wild how her eyesight is? Pretty good, she says. So you must have run into a blonde spot during the run as you lost direction then?
  • Stiffy asks why the scribe, who has modern technology on hand, and works for a large software company, has to resort to pen and paper to take the notes? On in Sneaky Comer.
  • Goes Down Easy noticed Sneaky Comer, as a fat bastard, struggling to get through the hole in the fence at the KTM yard.
  • Foot Fetish, on the other hand, noticed Sweet Thighs going through the same hole standing up – here’s to the petite one.


On on to the On On.

Scribed by Sneaky Comer

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