Run Report #2140 4/6/2014

Hares: Cock Radio

Run Site: Jalan Mempurong (Sembawang Park area)

On On: Restaurant 1036

and I quote:

“Too far! Not enough runners! Not enough guests! No virgins! Not too long! Not too short! Too many shooting stars” Good run! Awesome run! Best run!”


The Circle:

Guests: Penile Extension


Half Cut


Virgins: none

Lipstick: All the boys. Not that many though. Namely: Cock Radio, Kannot Kan, Penile Extension, Gypsy, Peppy and Jo


Tits: Not here (Stand-in tits: Loose Change. She always has them:-)


Dick: Forced Entry? not here. (Stand-in Dick: Cock Radio)


Banana Protector:
Father Anus, not here. (Stand-in BP: Gypsy)


Awards – nope.



Gypsy: All about soap charges. Chris (Wet & Wild) and Chris (Loose Change) were called in for being responsible for the woolite stored in the miniaturized container that gypsy mistook it for travel sized shampoo, and used it to shampoo his ‘hair’. Thus he smells lite…woolite. He’s all lite, he’s all lite, he’s a little bit a woolite, but he’s all lite…


Penile Extension: Half-Cut tells Sweet Thighs that she had arrived in to Singapore on Monday but in actual fact, she has arrived last Friday. Here’s to forgetful she’s true bloo….


Sweet Thighs: Tiger Lily being the fastest runner claims that she can never find the trail marked by Cock Radio. There again, she could never find any trail set by anyone. B-Y-M-B-O, bymbo was her namo…..


Tiger Lily: Cock Radio for not using enough flour, chalk and toilet paper to lay the trail. Resulting to TL for not being able to find the trails. She has declared CR a Scottish. In his defend, CR claims that National Park forbids the use of flour on the soil as it changes the composition of the soil. What a load of BS as the flour was used on concrete. He’s the meanest, he sucks the……Kamala defended CR saying that she saw every drop of flour, every piece of TP and every chalk marking. How is it an elder person with poor eyesight can all those markings and TL could not? She ought to be publicly pissed on…..


Wet & Wild: Cock Radio and Sneaky Cummer pride themselves that every woman needs them. CR was running late setting the run, he calls on W&W to help out on the drink stop. Look who really needs a woman now?


Kannot Kan: CR has advertised on the web site that there would be a drink stop by the beach. F#*king Easy, Kannot Kan, Loose Change, Susie Wong, Too Easy and Mother Tongue run through all of Sembawang Park and could not find it. They were looking at the wrong place. Zipp was the only person who was able to lead a group of ladies to the drink stop. They ought to be publicly pissed on….


Tiger Lily: Gypsy for calling on ‘need a woman with breasts’.

Gypsy: CR for organizing a great drink stop. But too many shooting stars. That is not the worst of it. It made Gypsy looking like this.


Tonight is Loose Change’s last run. The circle was specially dedicated to her. We are going to miss her very much. Lenie has so kindly made a beautiful Tiramisu for her. GM also calls in Wet & Wild to share the cake as it is her birthday.


Bonus Circle Report

Must have been a good drink stop, we were sent two run reports and a recording of the circle after the run. Here is the bonus report sent by Zipp:


After the drink stop, mia culpa but this is all I remember:



The run was great, culminating in a lush drink stop. The lush recipe, a famed recipe of the Radio family (formerly known as the Wireless family) was never revealed. So no one knows that absolut-ly three bottle of vodka, half bottle of rum, a sprinkling of apple grape juice, cranberry juice and a dash of sprite were used in that cocktail. The Radio family’s favourite son, Cock, said that if I tell you, I will have to kill you.



The GM piroutted into the circle and dedicated circle #2140 to the lush, Loose Change who was leaving Singapore’s fair – if not extended – shores after 28 years. We will miss her laugh, her friendship and her unflagging dedication to the hash. Ooh, what a gal!



Gypsy waltzed in and started spouting off about soaps. He went into this tirade about moving things around for his houseguests and therefore forgot his regular soap for the hash shower. Fortunately he did find a small bottle of body wash in the car and used that. While lathering up, however, he recognized the smell as that of Woollite and realised that he now smelt of Zipp’s newly laundered knickers. To share his soapy down down, he called in Loose Change and Wet and Wild. It turns out that Zipp’s favorite brand of soap is Lush. It also turned out that both Loose Change and Wet & Wild are lushes too. Loose Change was spotted drinking Cock Radio’s conCocktion from a two litre jug. Wet & Wild had a smaller drinking vessel but obviously went back for refills far too often. Every time she bent over to help others to refill, she spilled her cup. Here’s to the lushes!



Sybil said, Sooooooo, clever Zipp (who does not drink) managed to get to the correct beach where the drink stop was. NB. Sybil’s charge was paraphrased from the original seven paragraphs. During the charge she did the bhangra forming two figure of eight’s in the circle.



Zipp and Dances of Kerbs tangoed into the circle (sans rose between the teeth) and thanked Cock Radio for his newsletter. In reference to his last newsletter and his hare for the evening, they begged the question, who the f**k is Alice. (The newsletter mentioned that his co-hare was Alice Cooper.) To which, totally unrehearsed, he said, ‘Cos for 24-years I’ve been living next door to Alice.



Eleven hashers supported the hare at the On On of the year. The punch bowl of lush was placed in the centre of the table and everyone partook of the amble fluid. We have selfies to prove it or NOT. The camera went round a few times. The combination of lush and a total lack of understanding of what a selfie entailed, meant that the resulting shots looked like they were taken by some very drunk hashers!



The food was excellent and we were actually singing. Who said the Harriet’s don’t sing. We absolutely do sing. Now, the $64 question, can the Harriet’s sing? Cannot!



Take-always from the On On:

Did False Entry leave the On On with her top down?

Were the last two men left at the On On joined by two from a bar on the strip? Sadly, were the two from the strip male?



The Jakarta Hash Challenge (Google it) NOT in Jakarta but will be on 30th August. Sign up for best price before 30th June.


Kuala Lumpur Hash House Harriets 40th Anniversary Ball on 13th June and Anniversary Run on 18th June. Registration forms were mailed to all members last week and are also available on the Singapore Harriets facebook page.


On on to the On On. Jackoff

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