Run Report #2133 16/4/2014

The Return of the Wet Shoes Run.

Hares: Shoe Shopper & Wet Patch

Run Site: Lorong Sesaui

On On: Red Lantern


The Run:

Would the new Aussie (almost sort of) Wet Patch turn up in a cork hat, blue singlet, budgie smugglers and white zinc on his nose? What would his Sheila be wearing? Why were they showing disroyalty by coming to Singapore when members of the Royal Family were touring Australia? Have they turned Republicans? Why did Wet Patch fly Business and leave Shoe Shopper in Economy? But more importantly, where would tonight’s run lead us to? All to be revealed tonight.

Down the steps past the condo to Upper Bukit Timah Rd. Ah, looks like a bit of Nature Reserve running. Across to the old railway track then into the mountain bike track. Yep, nature reserve trails, nice.

Oh no, T Check, hares must have spotted a National Parks Ranger.

Back onto the old railway track, still looking good. Wait, now heading back to Upper Thompson. Ah, must be going towards the main entrance of the nature reserve at Hindhede Rd.

But wait, a Circle Check and we cross back over Upper Thompson in the opposite direction of the Nature Reserve. Crikey, what’s going on? Another NP Ranger or have the Hares been eating too much kangaroo washed down with Fosters?

Up the steps and into no man’s land of confusing roads and back lanes before hitting some jungle.

Unfortunately I can’t describe too much more of the run, except to say that Wet Patch spent considerable energy trying to lure unsuspecting females into taking all the shaggy shiggyroutes, but with little success. Runners emerged at the beer wagon via the steps through the park in about 55 minutes. Except for Not Good Enough who staggered up the main road behind bare chested army guys doing hill repetitions. But that’s another story.


The Circle: The GM is ‘f#*king’ a lot tonight, and no sign of Slocum either.


Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Not bad for Aussies, bonza, ripper, ace, Crikey, F*#king good run.


But wait, they avoid membership and guest fees by being Hares and setting the run, then try to claim their flights from Hash Cash. Cheap skates huh.continue laying the trail!).


Tell us about your On On: $10 Red Lantern, kangaroo steak, wallaby cutlets, dingo soup, emu pie.


Next Week’s Run: Cock Radio & the Anzacs, Kranji War Cemetery.


Guests: Buttwiper, Dragon Breath, Ditch, Betty Boob Boop, BMW, Bagless Too.


Returnees: Ayam Kampong, Mr. Potato Head. Special Returnees: Crocodile Dundee and Elle McPherson, aka as Wet Patch and Shoe Shopper.


Virgins: Graham.


Lipstick: Buttwiper, Cock Radio, F#*ks Easy, Mr. Octoberfest (BMW), Ditch, Bagless Too and Mr. Potato Head. All decent blokes, so they protest their innocence with a stirring rendition of ‘Bullshit.’


Tits: Missing in action.


Dick: Ditch was calling out ‘Need a woman,’ all the time, so he gets something he can play with instead of harassing the gals.


Banana Protector: Father Anus, not here.


Awards – nope.



  • CR charged Wet Patch for sitting himself at the pointy end of the plane upstairs and plonking his wife next to the rear toilets downstairs. And furthermore, he sends Shoe Shopper back to OZ on Monday, seat 99 D ,while he stays on in Singapore for the week attending a couple of meetings before flying back alone Business and claiming the whole lot on tax. Not sure if the receipts from Orchard Towers will be accepted by the Australian Taxation Department. Or by Shoe Shopper, come to think of it.
  • Kan Not Kan tells how Buttwiper was introduced as Budweiser. (This is rather weird, because I am writing this up on a flight from Bangkok to Singapore while having a can of Budweiser. Really pleased it’s not a Buttwiper – CR)
  • Stiffy was in England recently and took an American friend into one of those traditional old British taverns full of those much loved Pommy Ales (loved by only the Brits that is of course) with the strange names such as Newcastle Brown Ale, Morland Old Speckled Hen, Robinson’s Old Tom, Wadworth 6X, Marston’s Pedigree, Thomas Hardy’s Ale, Sam Smith’s Nut Brown Ale, Badger’s Tanglefoot etc etc etc. And what did the Yank ask for? Yep, a Budweiser. In Ditch, as the representative American.
  • Not Tonight follows up with how Stiffy was in England and saw a hairdresser advertising Kim Jung Un hairstyles, with a picture of the fearless leader on his window. (North Korean men were recently told to have their cut in the same style as a mark of respect to their leader, otherwise end up with the same departure as his uncle- CR)
  • Anyway, a couple of European heavies came and told the hairdresser to remove the advertisement. (Good on ‘em if you ask me. CR)
  • Dragon Breath was one of the lassies that Wet Patch tried to lure into his shiggy den, but she was having none of his sweet talk. Anyway, Shoe Shopper mentioned about not going down with him because you only have to come up again. Moral of story: Don’t go down with Wet Patch.
  • Stiffy has Dragon Breath in for a sex charge. Apparently on the Sunday Run, they get straight into it.
  • The Sunday AGM from Sammy’s at Dempsey has now been and gone by the time you read this. Results next week. And remember, their next Committee could be good…..
  • The Harriets AGM is coming up, May 7. Sneaky Comer praises this annual event, one of the highlights on the Singapore Social Calendar. Furthermore, he acknowledges the Harriets return to a venue with a swimming pool for the non voting overworked Associate Members. But how can we cook a BBQ while in the pool? Mr. Ho cooks really well and is a non swimmer.
  • A directionless charge involving Buttwiper – a call of ‘on left’ and he went right.


On on to the On On.

Isn’t it great to have run reports again for bored people to have something to complain against!!

Scribed by Cock Radio

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