Run Report #2130 26/03/2014

The Don’t Piss the GM Off Run Hares: Jackoff, The Boxer, and Penile Extension

Run Site: Ang Mo Kio Industrial Park 3, Block 6006 behind Motorola Building

On On: Hong Seng Seafood Restaurant.

The Circle:


Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Hares – Jack Off, The Boxer and Penile Extension (Last minute hares and last minute run as hares were stopped by an armed Singaporean soldier and informed them that due to military exercises they could not continue laying the trail!).


Tell us about your On On: Next door.


Next Week’s Run: Delta Swimming Complex Car park, by Sybil, Dances with Kerbs, Zipp, and Gypsy.


Guests: Phoney Dick, Trash, Hard On, James (Hard On’s son), Paul, King Leer, Totally Unacceptable.


Returnees: not that we recall.


Virgins: nope.


Lipstick: Kannot Kan, Hard On, James and Totally Unacceptable.


Tits: on vacation in New Zealand? [Lost Marbles].


Dick: absent [Forced Entry].


Banana Protector: Father Anus, not here.


Awards – Hooray for 1000th run! He got a lovely tankard, so no shirt taking off (Thank goodness!) and as he is getting on a bit it did take him quite a long time to finish his down down.



  • Penile Extension brought James in. As mentioned earlier the original run was spoilt due to the Singaporean Army exercises and it just so happened that James is in the Singaporean Army! So logically it follows that he is a SPY sent into our camp to find out our secrets!
  • Wet Brazilian asked the circle who do we all love? Stiffy tried to step in and pretend it was him, but obviously it wasn’t! The circle guessed right – the answer was The Boxer. We love her because she is such a happy, smiling, friendly person who is a great cook. However Wet Brazilian saw the other side of her on the run! At one stage some runners (Wet Brazilian included) were struggling through rough scratchy terrain, whilst others just 5 metres away were comfortably running on the pavement. WB asked the hare, The Boxer, was it really necessary for us to be fighting our way through the undergrowth. “Yes” came the reply. “It’s necessary. The trail goes this way.” So thinking that we were heading further into the jungle I bravely continued, until a hundred metres later we turned up to the pavement! When WB let out a “WTF! You said!” The Boxer’s only reply was a witchy cackle! Now we know she is not all sweetness and light! (Penile Extension did mention loudly that he had been trying to tell people this for years!)
  • The Boxer was in trouble again with the next charge. She was brought in by Stiffy who was most upset that despite a whole week of preparation time there were no sausage rolls! How can that be, not one sausage roll at The Boxer’s run! Of course The Boxer blamed Penile Extension for not going shopping! Men!
  • Jack Off then re-enacted the Army cutting short their trail setting and explained how they had to make up a new run on the spot, so of course they had to put in a few longer than normal T checks. Unfortunately those T checks were a bit too long for one poor hasher, Totally Unacceptable. He couldn’t keep up and had to give up at 6:35! He couldn’t even keep it down as half his down down ended up on the floor! Men!
  • Penile Extension then brought a beautiful looking Kan the Kobra in. She was looking stunning after various beauty treatments, including ear waxing. However Penile Extension pointed out that she should ask for her money back as the ear waxing obviously didn’t work. He had earlier witnessed Kannot Kan on the phone trying to explain where the run location was and she couldn’t understand him, so couldn’t find the run site.
  • Stiffy charged Wet Brazilian for not being Brazilian enough. When Wet Brazilian arrived at the run site, Phoney Dick remarked “Here comes the Brazilian BOMBSHELL” (I said I would put that in capitals!) Stiffy pointed out she may look Brazilian, but she doesn’t drive like a Brazilian. “She definitely isn’t an Ayrton Senna” I don’t know what he is talking about, it only took me 4 attempts to get in the parking space!
  • Kannot Kan then filled the circle in on Kan the Kobra’s wonderful beauty treatments which took place at a spa in Batam. Kan the Kobra and Deep Throat decided to pamper themselves, as you do. Well, as they nearly didn’t do! Kan the Kobra was at the ferry port waiting for Deep Throat to arrive when Deep Throat called to say she was running a bit late but was in a taxi now. Luckily K the K checked to see if Deep Throat had her passport – she did not! Deep Throat had the taxi turn round and called Malfunction asking him to get her passport and meet her on the street. Which being the kind person he is, he did it willingly. Finally, at the ferry port Kan the Kobra and Deep Throat were about to set off when they were stopped by immigration. The problem being Deep Throat’s passport was out of date!! Of course it was Malfunction’s fault – he had picked up the wrong passport! After another phone call, Malfunction being the kind person he still is, this time actually got a taxi and brought Deep Throat’s passport to her! A Deep Throat lookalike had to drink a down down to a well deserved renditioning of BIMBO.
  • Kan the Kobra’s beauty led her to be charged again! This time by Not Tonight who was most upset when she heard the sexy Kan the Kobra soliciting her husband, Stiffy! $15 for 15 minutes! Apparently Stiffy has booked in for every day next week!
  • Jack Off then thanked her last minute co-hares, Penile Extension and The Boxer, for helping out the Harriets in their time of need.
  • They all stayed in the circle as The Boxer charged her co-hares for not communicating properly with each other. Jack Off asked Penile Extension to bring tp with him. Penile Extension did not understand. (Neither would I) But Jack Off enlightened us all – Toilet paper!
  • Stiffy was back in the circle. This time to charge Paul the visitor, who injured himself a couple of weeks earlier. Most of us go to a doctor when injured, instead Paul decided to do a bit of DIY and bought some insulating tape to strap up his sore calf muscle. It was obviously cheap insulating as it came off half way through the run. This led to possible naming options which included;
    • Tight Tendon (too nice)
    • Jock Strap (Not his Jock that was strapped)
    • Tight Bastard (Kills two birds with one stone)
  • Finally, Hard On shared a hash story for many years ago. Whilst setting the trail in Sumatra with a co-hare Hard On was surprised when his co-hare jumped up into the air and ran past him and disappeared. Why would a co-hare do that? They would if there was a bloody big python on the trail! There was only one obvious person for the down down – Kan the Kobra!


On on to the On On.

Scribed by Wet Brazilian

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