Run Report #2134 23/4/2014

The Anzac Run.

Hares: Cock Radio

Run Site: Kranji War Memorial

On On: Karu’s Indian, Upper Bukit Timah Rd.

The Run:

World War 2. Kranji. Scene of fierce fighting. Acts of valour and courage. The sky all lit up by artillery shells as the sound of exploding bombs echoed through the dense jungle as soldiers took cover before advancing again.

2014. Kranji. Sky all lit up by lightning bolts as the sound of thunder echoed through what is left of the jungle. Acts of courage and valour cowardice as the Hare sheltered under the MRT line, refusing to advance any further until the fierce storm passed.

Half the run managed to be set, and the Hare ran with the Pack as a guide for the 2nd half. Too Easy did not find the first Check easy at all, and checked 500 metres in the wrong direction. Along the MRT line where the 2nd Check found runners more interested in standing around chatting rather than checking. Gypsy checked into the jungle and disappeared out of visual and audio range. Penile Extension headed north along the old railway line; unfortunately for him trail was to the south.

After some nice greenery running, it was back over Woodlands Rd and through the little suburbia and out onto the field where a T Check signaled the end of trail. The Hare then took the Pack, well almost all the Pack, around the corner into Mandai Rd before entering the jungle. Unfortunately the FRB’s Too Easy, Goes Down Easy and Foot Fetish refused to budge from the T Check and went MIA for a while.

Sweet Thighs and Gypsy missed the turn into the jungle and disappeared for 500 meters up Mandai Rd before realizing no one was following them. The 2 Kiwis, Lost Marbles and Wet ‘n Wild showed Anzac bravery by leading the way through the spider webs. They were armed with big sticks.

Emerging from the spider trail, the 2 Kiwi gals headed off towards the race course. A night at the races? The Boxer led the Pack the correct way through the long grass and was asked to raise her arm in the air so we could see her.

On grass along the back of the houses to the war cemetery/ memorial. 55 mins. All survived.


The Circle: Goes Down Easy, who also accepted subs and fees earlier, is the stand in GM. And oh my, that’s what I call a pair of F#*k Me Shoes.


Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Glad there was a run. Marquee set up was a nice touch but does anyone have 20cents to get the generator going? Good run.


Tell us about your On On: Karu’s Indian.


Next Week’s Run: Goes Down Easy & Foot Fetish. Tiong Baru.


Guests: Dead Fish & ……? No list! Sorry.


Returnees: nope.


Virgins: nope.


Lipstick: Dead Fish, Penile Extension, etc.


Tits: Cock Radio for not being able to multi task like a woman can.


Dick: Ditch has them.


Banana Protector: Father Anus, not here.


Awards – nope.



  • Too Easy and FRBs were running here, there and everywhere trying to find trail (there wasn’t any) and finally Goes Down Easy declared that it’s better going down. Can’t argue with that.
  • Too Easy gave a gallantry award to CR for getting a run organized with a fierce storm raging.
  • Foot Fetish charged himself for being late. Thought he was doing well until he realized he had given the taxi driver instructions to get to Karous instead of the war memorial. Premature On On.
  • Too Easy has a directionless charge also. Fat Crashing Bastard keyed in Kranji War Memorial to his GPS and ended up in a dead end miles away.
  • Goes Down Easy tells how one Hasher was looking for paper trail in a rather littered area. He picked up something white to see if it was paper but it turned out to be a white bag of doggy poo. Shitty trail.
  • Too Easy commented on Goes Down Easy’s extreme F me shoes. At any other run site her heels would have been sinking 10 inches into the ground. Lucky tonight we had a marquee with a wood floor for her to walk on.
  • Anzacs are in for a drink – CR, Wet ‘n Wild and Lost Marbles.
  • Penile Extension, wearing his Winston Churchill hat, informs us that it is actually St Georges Day. He brings in a bevy of gals and tells them to beware of the dragon slayer. Not sure if he was inferring that the girls were dragons?
  • Fat Crashing Bastard charged Too Easy for getting her days mixed up. I missed the details sorry.
  • Sweet Thighs reminds that the Chinese are found in large numbers all over the world. But tonight we have only 2 at the run – herself and Forced Entry.
  • Goes Down Easy has a charge up her sleeve and asks Sweet Thighs and Forced Entry where they were born. Singapore. ‘Oh, go away then.’ There goes that charge.
  • Too Easy tells us that St George was really a Palestinian, because according to Dances With Kerbs there are thousands of Georges in Palestine.
  • Reminder about the AGM coming up. May 7th, Southaven Condo, Upper Bukit Timah Rd. A pool for the boys. Award nominations out very soon.
  • Finally, from Stiffy.


    ‘There is a forgotten, nay almost forbidden word, which means more to me than any other. That word is ENGLAND.’

    Sir Winston Churchill.


On on to the On On.

Scribed by Cock Radio



Hello — I have questions.

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?
If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Lipton Tea employees take ‘coffee breaks?’
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds; when they already know you’re broke?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint you have to touch it to check?
Why do they use sterilised needles for lethal injections?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that, no matter what colour bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it and then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will ever open from the first end you try?
How do those dead bugs get into the enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re OK..?

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