The ‘Aussie Day’ Run.
Hares: Shoe Shopper & Wet Patch Bruce.
Where: St.George’s Church Car Park, Dempsey.
On On: Boxer’s snags in bread and homemade burgers followed by brownies and ice cream.
Party Notice: Valentine’s Party, Saturday 25th February, House of Stiff, Seletar (save the date, more details to come).
The Run:
And a run it was, all 9kms of it. Comes Quietly suggested it may have been longer, but the batteries in his GPS went flat after 10kms. After some interesting little loops near Tanglin Rd, it was over Napier Rd to Nassim Hill Rd and up. After a nice little hill climb, runners then got to spend a bit of time meandering around Dalvey Estate, a rather exclusive housing area, to see how the other half live. As Maggot put it, even if we combined the total income of all our runners, we still would not even be close to affording the land that these mansions sit on.
However, money isn’t everything and we know that it can’t buy you love. But it would buy you a bloody big house to shag in.
But you don’t need money to enjoy the serenity of the Botanical Gardens, and that’s where we went. Entering towards the Bukit Timah Rd end, the trail meandered gracefully through some great new sections of the Gardens that have only been opened up recently. If you missed the run, or were running so fast to enjoy the scenery like I was, then I suggest that you pack a little basket of wine and cheese and wander off to spend a bit of time in the Botanical Gardens and explore the back part (taking the MRT will deliver you to the Bukit Timah end).
Back to the run. Not wanting to upset the NP Rangers, the Hares spaced their chalk marks quite far apart, causing a few runners some anxious moments. It made no difference to Tiger Lily as she fails to see markings even if they are 5 metres apart. Through the rainforest, past the lake and out the main front gate, where it was a fairly obvious sprint to home, you would think. However, Wet N Wild had no idea where she was and had to be directed by the Hares.
A good workout for the serious runners and a lovely stroll through the Gardens for the serious walkers. Well done Hares, a great route. Wish I had of thought of it.
The Circle: The GM is very proud of herself and claims that she got through last week’s without making a mistake, can she do it again?
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Too many Aussies. Not long enough. Good run Bruce.
Tell us about your On On: On site Aussie BBQ.
Next week’s run: Labrador MRT car park, Labrador Park, Mother’s Tongue and daughter.
Visitors: With 14 guests, a separate Circle was formed to create Concentric Circles. In and Out, Wee Willy, Foreplay, Wander Off, Totally Unacceptable, Vibrator, Bagless 2, Kathy, Annabelle, Tia, Marcia, Jo, Trash, King Lear. Welcome all.
Virgins: Actually, Tia was a virgin so she got another drink.
Tits: Shoe Shopper charged Kathy and Annabelle for not declaring their Hash names – Desperate Housewife and Big Root.
However, it is Cock Radio who wins with his effort of ignoring all the run sites that she suggested 6 weeks ago, and then at the last minute asking her to Hare and not even giving her a choice of run sites. Oh well.
Dick: Loose Change charges herself for dog cruelty. While walking her dog, she threw a stick for it to chase. Harriet, the dog, dutifully chased after it and proudly carried it in her mouth back to Loose Change. Unfortunately, the stick was rather long, and one end stuck in the mud while the other end impaled poor Harriet’s stomach. A $500 vet bill has seen Harriet on the way to recovery.
Lippy: Hooray, King Lear and Camel Humper.
Awards – Nope.
AOB:
· Sneaky Comer has a special certificate for the wanna be an Aussie, Wet Patch. Having cooked up a backyard BBQ successfully, ensured that there is always plenty of cold beer in his fridge and shagged a beaut Aussie Sheila, he is presented with his certificate to allow him to travel freely through the great land down under. However, just to play safe in case he arrives on a small island off the north coast in a rickety wooden fishing boat sailing via Indonesia, the reverse side is written in Arabic and entitles him to free accommodation, meals, internet access, free phone calls and a good lawyer.
· Slowcum was looking forward to having a relaxing walk through the Gardens in the company of Wet Brazilian, but all she did was complain all the way. ‘You walk too fast, it’s too hot, I’ve got a sore bum, slow down…..’ and on and on she went.
· In and Out overheard Loose Change and Suzee Wong suggesting that tonight’s Circle looked like being a bit too slow and quiet for their liking, but Loose Change said not to worry because she has the Dick to keep them occupied.
· Cock Radio had a fair idea where tonight’s run was going. Last week I told Shoe Shopper I had a run route worked out for tonight, and told her my plan so as to get her to co hare with me. Well, the next day she rang and said she had done a recee with Wet Patch and excitedly proclaimed it was going to be a good run. Great, I thought, pleased that she liked my idea. But then when I asked about setting the run, she told me to F#*k off, she and Wet Patch were going to set it. She stole my run! Plagiarism. Get me a lawyer.
· Hooray recalls how Zipp was drinking all the half full bottles of Carlsberg from the charges last week. Seems that Gypsy had to do the driving home.
· Hooray also charged the Kiwis, Wet N Wild and Big Root, as unlike Australia, NZ allows anyone to live in their country.
· Cock Radio kept the Kiwis in, the NZ Farmer’s Federation has called for sheep shearing to be included as an Olympic event. As the Aussies would beat them, perhaps they should try for sheep shagging as they would be guaranteed a Gold Medal.
· Loose Change reckons that Sneaky Comer is in for a hot night when he gets home. Wet n Wild’s wearing a bra full of passion. She is carrying 2 passion fruit that she found in the Gardens. The new Passion Bra.
· The GM gives all the Aussies a note for Australia Day.
· This is followed by the Chinese for New Year – Gong Xi Fa Cai.
· Croc Hunter, proudly wearing a new Aussie cap, is given a big thank you for all his work, along with a red packet.
· Cock Radio confirms with the Committee that Wednesday night is the Harriet’s Run night and that Saturday is traditionally Party Night.
· Sneaky Comer, who obviously can’t wait to get home for his night of passion, wants to have his wife in the Circle. It appears that she does not understand the art of Vegemite sandwich making. It is a delicate skill to spread it evenly and not too thick and not too thin. You do not just slap it on.
· Robbie Burns Run Sunday.
On on on.
Scribed by Cock Radio.
Bruce, an Australian who was working on contract for 3 months in Dublin, was drinking in O’Donoghue’s pub in Merrion Row when he gets a call on his mobile phone.
He hangs up grinning from ear to ear, orders a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, because,
he announces, his wife back home has just produced a typical baby boy
weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any baby can
weigh in at 25 pounds but Bruce just shrugs, “That’s about average in Oz. Like I said my boy is a typical Australian baby boy.
Congratulations showered him from all around and many exclamations were
heard. One woman even fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later Bruce returns to the bar.
Paddy, the bartender,
says “You’re the father of that typical Australian baby that weighed 25
pounds at birth. Everybody’s been having bets about how big he’d be in
2 weeks, we were going to call you. So how much does he weigh now?
The proud father answers ’17 pounds”
Paddy is puzzled and concerned. “What happened? He weighed 25 pounds the day he was born.
Bruce takes a long s-l-o-w swig from his beer, wipes
his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans onto the bar and proudly says …………..
“Had him circumcised mate”.