Lorong Sesuai, car park near steps
Hares: Too Easy & Fat Crashing Bastard
On On: 24 Lorong Sesuai, food by Boxer and beer by Hares
The Run:
The hare’s confidence that this would be a nice trot, about 6.5km, was dispelled a little by one of the hares crawling around on hands and knees before the run, moaning in pain. Oh well, off we went with quite a few virgins in tow, up the hill to the obligatory T-check. The pack confidently headed down the path along The Hillside, almost reaching Upper Bukit Timah Road despite the complete absence of trail markings. The hare still able to walk called us back, a bit bemused that the check had used up 10 minutes and might make the rest of the run a little long.
Down through the car park again (one of those dreaded back through the run site checks) and through the park to Bukit Batok East Avenue 2, where another check confounded for another 5 minutes before Dances with Kerbs pointed us up Bukit Batok East Avenue 2 (here we were on yet another tour demonstrating the creativity of the Singapore authority responsible for naming roads). Right onto Bukit Batok East Avenue 5 and past Little Guilin Lake, before another check had us heading up the side of Bukit Gombak Stadium and up into the town park to the consternation of a few locals taking their afternoon exercise running around and around and around and around the stadium running track.
Up and over the hill before looping back along the park fence and back onto Bukit Batok East Avenue 5 and retracing our steps down Bukit Batok East Avenue 2 to the nature park, where the drink stop was located at the “Plaza Area”. Seriously strong Margarita’s then held the pack for a good 30 minutes before we staggered back up the hill to the run site.
The Circle:
Delayed a little for noise and beers, the circle formed up noisily about 8:15pm.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? “Too short”. The GM brandished the run announcement which promised Chocolates and Champagne. Where was the Champagne, she wanted to know? Anyway, good run, thanks hares.
Tell us about your On On: at the house of Mother’s Tongue, Boxer’s fabulous food and beers provided by the hares.
Next week’s run: Father Anus stepped in to announce the run but couldn’t remember where it was. Fortunately the scribe had a text and an email from the hare not suffering from memory loss, the run will be at Blackmore Drive (but different).
Virgins: Welcome some lady virgins: Lily, Isa, and Elizabeth, all in new shoes! (Or they were new shoes). Will they come again? Not sure.
Guests: Eric, Ditch, Sweet Thighs, Golden Shower, Bagless Too, Circle Jerk, Butt Wiper, Dragon Breath, Comes Slowly, Ayam Kampong, Lap Dancer, Foreplay, Singapore Sling.
Returnees: Virginia Slim for the last time, Quicksand.
Lipstick: Stiffy, Wee Willie, Comes Quietly, and Slocum (on his bike).
Tits: Comes Quietly calls in Fat Crashing Bastard. “It is one thing for the birthday boy to have a shag on the run, it is another thing entirely to leave the wet soggy mattress lying across the trail”.
Dick: on leave with Gypsy.
Banana Keeper: on leave with Gypsy.
Awards – nope.
AOB:
- Not Tonight wants the hares in the circle. There were multiple injuries on the run tonight. When the hares came back from setting the run, FCB was bent over like an old man. Then Comes First was massaging her neck after the run; and she reported that her horse had stumbled and that’s how she hurt her neck. However, after a few drinks she confessed it was the stud she was dancing with on Saturday night.
- Mother’s Tongue also saw the soggy mattress on trail, but discovered that Too Easy knew nothing about it. So what was FCB using it for? Does he want to make a confession?
- Slocum weighs in, asking FCB if the mattress (and use thereof) wasn’t the reason for the sore back?
- Jackoff weighs in on FCB’s pending insobriety, by pointing out that normally on his birthday runs, he brings high quality chocolate. So what’s the rubbish he brought tonight, including fake Kit Kats?
- Sweet Thighs doesn’t come to Harriets very often and had forgotten about the woman in front thing. So when EMP called for a woman at a check, and she came running, she was a bit offended that he ditched her for someone else.
- Dragon Breath also has a woman in front charge. Bagless Too had called for a woman and when Dragon Breath obliged, he retorted “no, not you, someone who can run”.
- Circle Jerk seems to think FCB looks like Michael Caine, and was reprising his role in the Italian Job by blowing up trees. [Ed: well that's what I wrote down anyway].
- FCB had help from Sybil in mixing the Margaritas. Sybil was apparently a bit concerned about the amount of Tequila that went into the drink. [Ed: so was the rest of the pack, good Margaritas!!!!]
- FCB had someone in, might have been Stiffy? This person has crashed cars, bikes, and shopping trolleys. But tonight he crashed the drinks esky on the way down to the drink stop, spilling half the precious contents onto the road.
- At this point, Boxer brought in a birthday cake for FCB.
- Butt Wiper observed EMP closely following Circle Jerk up a steep slope and closely observing his ass. Give the gay boys a note.
- Not Tonight called in all the bike hashers to the circle. Anyone who DIDN’T talk about the bike hash on the run tonight was then invited to leave. No-one did and they all get a drink.
- On that note, Jackoff was asked by Singapore Sling what the difference between the bike hash and the hash was. Give the B.I.M.B.O. a note.
- Kannot Kan has a point of order. Big Beer Breasts presented himself to the hash as “Comes Slowly”. Can he really change his name? No.
- Dragon Breath overheard a conversation between Sweet Thighs and Ditch. “Ditch, get behind me”; then “now push, harder”; then “don’t leave me, I got bitten”. She wonders what happens in the bedroom?
- Circle Jerk calls in Big Beer Breasts and asks which country he is from? The US, where everything is BIG. So how did he come to the hash? On his British made Brompton bike, peddling up Lorong Sesuai like a mad Gerbil.
- Golden Shower weighs in….he saw the giant gerbil at Paya Lebar station, going the opposite way to the hash. Apparently he thought the Circle Line would be quicker, and arrived about 10 minutes later.
Scribed by Sneaky Comer