Run Report #2023 21/3/2012

The ‘Put Your Running Shoes On, Lap of the City’ Run

Hares: Dances with Kerbs & Sybil.

Where: Lower Car Park, Legends, Fort Canning Park

On On: Boxers Tandoori Chicken and other Indian nosh.

The Run

Well the hares did warn us it would be a road run. A very small but enthusiastic group gathered at the far end of the lower car park and were sent off down the car park and up the hill on the grass for the only thing that wasn’t concrete.

It is nice to have a run set by experienced hares. The early checks in Fort Canning had our super fast front running blind bast$&rds completely flummoxed and slowed them down enough for those of us older and slower to catch up. We did loops up and over and eventually found our way onto the overpass over River Valley Road and down the river to the Anderson Bridge. After that we went back towards Boat Quay, over through China Square, and from there it was anyone’s guess. By this point we were running short of checks and the FRBs were long gone. When we did encounter a check at China Square it was ‘sort of broken’ but we could find no sign of the on despite a lot of checking, so we ended up making our own way back.

For details on the real run, please check with Stiffy, who claims to have done it all. If I can have your indulgence for a short whinge, it would be nice if the FRB’s would, once in a while, break a check and call “on on” when they find trail. This is a hash, not a road race. Thanks.

The Circle: The GM was present. She clearly had another engagement though, because she started calling the circle at around 7:30 and kept doing so until we bothered to show up.

Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? “Too much jungle”; “best back check ever set in Fort Canning Park”. Good run! Thanks hares.

Tell us about your On On: Is on site Indian food by boxer. Dances with Kerbs acted as ventriloquist while Boxer described the food.

Next week’s run: Lethal Weapon snuck into the circle and whispered to the GM (not softly enough, since most of the circle heard her): “what’s the name of that road with the car park?” Umm, let me think. So there you have it, Lethal Weapon and Posh Nash will be waiting for you in the car park on that road. Good luck.

Visitors / Returnees: Knobby Boy Scout and Bagless Too.

Virgins: Nope.

New Member: Nope.

Lipstick: Since Stiffy had been loudly proclaiming to anyone who would listen that he was the only one to come back on trail, he was declared a front running Associate Member. No complaints, he came in to the circle with a smile on his face.

Tits and Dick were not in obvious attendance. However, they were hiding behind the car, and in strutted Kannot Kan, with the Dick, and Kan the Kobra, with “freshly washed” tits. The thing is, Kannot Kan told us, Kan the Kobra wanted to keep the tits. Therefore, they swapped awards and are off for another week of titillation. Only now, Kan the Kobra has the Dick and Kannot Kan has the Tits.

Prizes Awards:

· Ugly Slippery Bum gets a lovely photo frame in recognition of 200 runs. The GM wants to know who is that in the photo? Umm, that would be Slippery Bum J

· Kan the Kobra ignores all calls of “off off off” and puts on her shirt for 150 runs over the top. “Too small”, she exclaims. “No, too sexy” replies the On Sec.

· Forced Entry doesn’t need to be forced to remove her top for her 50 runs shirt. Virginia Slim is keen to remove it again.

· Suzee Wong, after a little cajoling, is also willing to change into her 250 runs shirt.

· Stiffener had noticed the awards going on and had a quick word with the GM. “Hey, if there is an award there for me can I go and check my bra first, it might be see-through”. Unfortunately, from the viewpoint of the Associate Members, it wasn’t, but nevertheless Stiffener changes into her 50 runs shirt.


· Hooray points out that a Marmite factory somewhere has burnt down (ed: actually damaged in the earthquake), and so now New Zealander’s are required to eat Vegemite imported from Australia. Wet ‘n Wild gets a drink to wash down the vegemite with. Ed: I don’t see the issue, Vegemite is clearly superior.

· Wet Patch has so many charges for Stiffy he decides to settle on just one. As we proceeded through the wooden doors at the top of Fort Canning, Stiffy was nice enough to close the doors to prevent any following Harriets from over-taking him to stop him from getting lipstick.

· Fat Crashing Bastard has noticed that Shoe Shopper is Shoeless, and hence is charged with abusing her hash name.

· Fat Crashing Bastard also reminds us that Too Easy has just had her birthday. No cake, you lucky bast^&ds had enough of a good time running off to Switzerland for a quick ski.

· Sneaky Comer asks Herr Zipp and Pubic Zipp how they got their hash names. This is of course a trick question, because Herr Zipp had already confessed he had forgotten how this happened, “sometime in 2003”. Being a dedicated historian SC looked it up in the archives. However, before he could explain, Not Tonight ran in and claimed that they were named related to a peeing incident. Thus proving Sneaky Comer’s point that the memory seems to diminish with age. All three got a drink to refresh their memories. Primary source and explanation available at

· Wet Brazilian takes Knobby Boy Scout to task for confusing her with Dances with Kerbs.

· Stiffy wants “wifey” (Not Tonight) in the circle. Apparently Not Tonight had claimed she was attending the Current and Former Committee Members’ brunch on Sunday. Later in the day, as they drove past the SRC, Not Tonight pointed out the venue to Stiffy saying “look, that’s where we were today”. Problem is, Stiffy knew the brunch had been at the cricket club. So where were you, Not Tonight – off two timing, or did you just forget where you were?

· Fat Crashing Bastard had a “wifey” related charge. Early in the evening Wet ‘n Wild had asked FCB if his wifey was with him? FCB appeared to ignore her, so WNW pointed out a little more loudly that “I am talking to you but you can’t see my lips moving”. Give the ventriloquist a note.

· Penile Extension points out that, fearing rain, he had borrowed a canopy from Loose Change. Unfortunately, it promptly broke; so here’s too Short Change(r).

· Stiffy follows this up by pointing out that he had previously given a canopy to Penile Extension – where is that?

At this point, the circle was abandoned due to a few drops of rain.

Scribed by Sneaky Comer, having fought off Not Tonight for the pen.

This entry was posted in Runs and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>