The Breast Cancer Awareness Run (aka The Vodka Cranberry Awareness Run)
Dempsey
Hares: Suzee Wong, Loose Change, In & Out
On On: The Boxer on site
Well done everyone for the fund raising on our Breast Cancer Awareness Run.
The Run:
A good turn out for this Annual event, and a nice location, 50 metres from the Durian Stall.
Eventually we found our way out of Dempsey and over Queensway into the HDB’s. Many runners were making the public aware of their breasts by wearing frilly silly bras, but through the HDB’s I became aware of pussies. There were cats everywhere. I have not seen so many pussies on a run since Zipp and Gypsies run through Geylang the other year.
It was interesting to see which runners choose the handicapped ramps that zigged zagged and zagged zigged, adding a few hundred extra metres compared to taking the direct stairs. Goes Down Easy was one of these, until she finally realized the folly of her ways. This led her to ignore the next ramp and take a bumb slide down a steep grass embankment. I am not sure if it was easy, but she sure knows how to go down. Several other runners followed her, adopting various styles of descent. All were lacking in style, but amusing to watch. They did not go down easy.
Coming down a set of steps, we entered the backside of Holland Village, which looked a lot cleaner than Goes Down Easy’s backside. And there was a police car to greet us.
Wearing a rather questionable T-shirt that portrayed various types of breasts, as well as wearing a bra, I decided to avoid Mr. Plod and duck into the first bar, taking Sweet Thighs and a collection bag with me. The first guy we approached pulled out a $100 note and donated. What a start.
So Sweet Thighs and I teamed up as we made our way through the heart and soul of Holland Village. Hawker Centers, Coffee Shops, Wala Wala, Harry’s as we stuffed 5
heaps of $50, $10 & $2 notes into the collection bag. We were feeling good.
With the rest of the group, it was down into Holland Village MRT and up the other side.
Back across Queensway for a well deserved drink stop. How much cranberry was in that vodka?
The Circle: Acting GM, Wet & Wild, on the countdown to school holidays, has investigated thoroughly to determine how much cranberry was in the vodka, gets the Circle going with a hop, step and a stumble.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? In and Out is dragged away from his shower and joins the other 2 Hares in his swimwear, complete with soaped up torso and other soapy appendages. Not enough breasts, too many pussies. Great run.
Tell us about your On On: The Boxer on site – salmon, roast chicken, salad, soup and a yummy sweet which may have been a brownie. How much cranberry was in the vodka?
Next week’s run: the GM overlooked this until 20 minutes later when it was pointed out she had forgot. Blackmore Drive, Lost Marbles. Was there any cranberry in the vodka?
Guests: Sweet Thighs, Bugle Boy, Dragon Breath, Golden Showers, Bagless Too, Poo Bag (member of the Shit Family??), Penile Extension, Francis, Shipyard Flasher.
Singaporn & In and Out as Returnees.
Lipstick: Cock Radio (But I had tits!), Simon the Virgin, Stiff, Stiffy and Boo.
Virgins: Simon, Sandra, Caroline
New Member: Vicki, Sweet Thighs, Red Snapper. Stiff.
Tits: Too Easy is holding them for the GM. Someone disappeared into jungle (but there was no jungle?). Too Easy for leading FCB astray at the end of the run. Ok, that’s what my notes say, it makes no sense to me either. Blame it on the cranberry. [Ed: I was sober, the tits actually went to Goes Down Easy for leading FCB astray].
Dick: CR asks the Hon. Sec if she reads the run report. She claims innocence – her role at the moment is acting GM. After failing to answer a multitude of questions about the run report, CR rests his case that the On Sec has not got a f#*king clue what gets sent out each week. [Ed: at least I know who got the tits].
Banana Protector: Zipp and Gypsy have taken it diving.
Awards – Nope.
AOB:
- Stiffy points out that once again, CR has forgotten shorts to change into and throws me another $10 pair from Haberdash.
- Not Tonight gets the Americans in plus an Al Qaeda look a like – In and Out. Lack of cranberry in the vodka prevents me from giving more details on this charge, but you can sort of get the drift. If not, pour yourself a few vodka cranberries and it will become obvious.
- Fat Crashing Bastard asks Loose Change how much vodka was in the cranberry. Apparently enough for CR to tell 2 visiting gals that he could take them to places they have never been before.
- Loose Change mentions that even dinosaurs can dress up as lamb. Sybil, Not Tonight and Dances With Kerbs managed to collect, or solicit $400 for the Pink Ribbon campaign.
- Mother’s Tongue mentioned the pussies that took the elevator instead of the stairs at the MRT. Stiff and others guilty.
- Sybil tells the f#*king scribe to shut up. Oh, that’s me. Two Jugs for collecting guest fees and failing to tell her there was a young male virgin at the run. Oh no, up comes her top, she is aroused.
- The acting GM, Wet ‘n Wild, reappears and states ‘It has come to my attention that…’ She is interrupted by her husband, Sneaky Comer, who informs us that it is the first thing that has come to her attention for quite a while. Wet ‘n Wild has just realized she did not do next week’s run.
- Debsperado, Haberdash, has a 70′s sale on for the 40th anniversary celebration. She even has bisexual gear. We think she meant unisex. Vodka strikes again.
- Dragon Breath points out the difference between bisexual and unisex. She seems to be an expert.
- Stiffy gets kicked out by the acting GM, who allows Golden Shower to enter. Not Tonight asked Croc Hunter what sort of white wine we had tonight. She has a sniff of what he offers, turns up her nose complaining that it smells and says she’ll have a beer instead. This in turn got up FCB’s nose who then went and smelt the durians for 2 minutes to compose himself. Who needs smelling salts when you have durian.
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Stiffy calls in the 3rd choice acting GM, Wet ‘n Wild and informs her it is The International Day of Aging Persons Day. Room is then made for the eligible Hashers on their various walking frames, sticks, wheel chairs and life support systems to enter the Circle. Stiff, Boo, Mother Tongue, Malfunktion, In and Out, Father Anus, as well as other old farts. Are they on vodka IV drips?
On that note, On On to the On.
Scribed by Cock Radio.
Speaking of the elders – take note.
An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old Doberman thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep shit now!”
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly,
“Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?”
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
“Whew!,” says the panther, “That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!”
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!”
Now, the old Doberman sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?,” but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says ……
“Where’s that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!”
Moral of this story…
Don’t mess with the old dogs… Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
Bull Shit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
I rest my case. Time for another beer.