Run Report #1931 23/06/2010

The ‘There are spies in the Rifle Range Road Carpark, but who gives a Hash Shit” Committee Run

Shoe Shopper & Wet Pet, clean up by Stiffener and Wet ‘n Wild.

The Run

There were reunions going on near the British Club gates as I arrived at the run site. Interhash is 9 days away and old farts in great numbers are starting to arrive at Singapore Hash runs. Welcome one and all! In the spirit of the occasion, Shoe Shopper informed us that the run was on all three substances, chalk, paper, and that very dangerous and environmentally questionable flour. So off we set down Bukit Tinggi Road, with Boo managing to piss of the hare within 200 metres by looking for a short cut. “Don’t go that way Boo, you’ll find the in trail” shouted the hare, giving those within earshot a valuable clue. Another valuable clue came on the run up Binjai Rise, where the hare told me she was “slowing down so she didn’t have to pretend to run to the T-check through the pipes under the PIE”. Thanks hare, neither did I, which was a bonus as various front runners came screaming out of the pipes chased by bats.

On up over the hill and down into Mayfair Park, up Rifle Range Road and into the reserve on the right went the front runners, who reached a check pretty quickly. I was thinking Sempaning link at this point and headed off behind a visitor, who gave up short of the corner, a poor choice as it later turned out. On on was right up the Sempaning link until we reached the stream, at which point I have to censor a little but magically we ended up at the Rifle Range middle car park about 10 minutes later. During this magical mystery diversion there was an extensive discussion about National Parks, marking trails, and whether dog shit might not be useful for marking trail. Stiff and Fat Crashing Bastard, you were certainly talking shit and if the GM hadn’t called the circle short, you would have been in trouble. On emerging to the car park, Maggot pointed out a suspicious character standing around in the car park wearing running gear, who could only be a NParks spy. Or a runner. Whatever!

Then it was on in to the Durian loop with a minor classified diversion here and there before we emerged onto Jalan Kampong Chantek and on home in just under an hour, I think. Thanks to the sweepers who were picking up the trail markings behind us.

Crikey, what did we think of that for a run? With the GM and Hash Cash as hares and the Hash Brew and On Sec as sweepers, there was little doubt, was there, that this would be considered an excellent run? Good run hares, thanks for the memories (since runs like that will soon be a memory).

Stiffy’s Hash Maths – was off measuring somewhere else tonight, about 6km?

Tell us about your on on mate. Sports Bar at the British Club. Menus were on display, credit cards checked, etc. Quite a big turn out, I think about 35-40!

Virgins: Kevin and Arthur. Arthur had gone or was lost, but Kevin got a down down.

GM Privelege – Boo got a drink for consistently calling the GM an old lady.

Visitors, returnees and other misfits: Gazilions (again) and fortunately (again) I have the GM’s bit of paper to remind me: Biggles, Deep Throat, Touch My Stuff, Lynxx, Bird Shit, Testicules, Deep Shit, Whore Bini, Higgins, Bagless Too. I could have sworn I saw Ayam Zinking there too, did he pay?

Special returnee: actually Lynxx is a former GM from “last century” so she gets another drink.

Lippy – Bloodshit was still changing at his car as we ran past so he must have been in front, right? Kevin, Comes Quietly, and Touch My Stuff got to join him.

Awards (or prizes, as they are now known):

· Bloodshit has done 50 runs. Unfortunately, his anticipated milestone was 2009 so that is what is printed on the shirt. “Off off off” is closely followed by “on on on”.

The Tits – still absent. Father Anus, what are you doing with those tits?

The Dick – Comes Quietly enters the circle and waits quietly for silence. He is waiting quite a while. When he can make himself heard he points out that teachers normally set a good example during the school year. However, in the vacation all that discipline and good example setting seems to go out the window. At breakfast, Comes Quietly observed Shoe Shopper riding down the street on her treadly (that’s Tasmanian for bicycle) while not wearing a helmet (example one). Tonight, observe her car parked illegally (example two). And as for the run, well nothing need be said about the new rules and Shoe Shopper’s blatant disregard for them (example three). So thanks for not setting an example, but here is the Dick.

AOB

· Sneaky Comer reminds the circle that in car racing, having a fast pit stop is key to success. So it seemed tonight, when Lynxx was first to arrive at an on-call but needed a pi(ss)t stop. She was in and out of the jungle so quickly that she was able to maintain her FRB position despite that fact that the chase pack included Mr Potato Head. And to keep the charge in the family, Sneaky Comer describes the antics of Touch My Stuff in checking just short of the corner on the Sempaning Link, returning too quickly and having to back track twice when the trail was found. “I don’t know what it was like in the olden days, but the hash these days is much trickier and you have to look further than 10m for the on”. Give them both a drink.

· Fat Crashing Bastard knows that all women don’t think alike. He knows this because Lynxx and Too Easy were chatting at the start of the run, and they agreed during the conversation that it would be best to park their bikes at the top of the British Club. Too Easy’s reason: she was wearing FM Shoes and was worried about here ability to ride up there; Lynxx on the other hand was worried about the safety of her property. Give them a note.

· The GM charges Bagless Too with being such as sad bastard as to come to hash on his birthday. Give the birthday boy a note.

· Higgins comes and and says that when one Higgins drinks, all Higgins must drink. Some form of inside joke ensues as many of the returnees come in for a drink. [Editor’s note: this is why we have a history project, to try and forget this stuff]. Higgins has a wide range of charges:

o Last time he was here the GM was in FM shoes: Suzee Wong

o This time Big Head was in FM shoes before the run but isn’t now.

o Jackoff remembered him as bidding for Interhas 2014 – how on earth does she remember.

o Testicules for showing up at hotel reception in Geylang in his underwear [Editor: hey, I just write down what I hear].

o “Virgin Slim” for something or other.

o Lynxx and Touch My Stuff for running 1400 miles in 4 months.

o Biggles, for something???

· Virginia Slim then embarked on a 20 minute advertisement for the Seletar 30th Anniversary, this weekend. For those who like the short version, turn up at Turf City this Saturday after lunch. If you haven’t registered bring $100. The longer version was around Virginia Slim’s travails with the Police. Seletar have their “Public Entertainment License” to cover the likelihood that a bunch of Australians will get drunk and try and fight each other. However, Slim had overlooked the fact that a mass run could be seen as a “procession”, “political assembly”, or “march”, so he needs a permit for the run. Ai yah. If you run with Seletar on the weekend, please wear some clothes because V Slim has promised you will (attire to be worn was required for the permit).

· Fat Crashing Bastard wants French people in the circle, because of something that happened somewhere while people were kicking a ball around (apparently).

· Higgins asks for right of reply to Virginia Slim’s advertorial and is given access to the circle. He passes around flyers for Interhash 2014 Brussells, then asks Virginia Slim to explain the Dick to him. V Slim is asked to drink from the Dick, which has the dual purpose of giving it a bit of a clean.

· One of our visitors presents a Sri Lanka hash shirt, size XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL, to the GM, who had checked she had a bra on when being given advance warning.

· Lynxx weighs in with a Tidewater patch for the GM.

· Twin Towers has been in training. So we see as she parades around the circle. Training with running, kick boxing etc. Her personal trainer? Comes Quietly. So she was a bit annoyed tonight that Comes Quietly sent her off to run up that great big hill while he went off on a short cut.

· Mother’s Tongue points out that Twin Towers has a tag showing on her top so she is forced to remove it to turn it inside out.

· Sybil was excited and happy to see Higgins and Touch My Stuff return, but apparently TMS snubbed her on arrival, which made her sad “he used to carry me around the circle in the old days”. At which we were treated to a re-enactment.

And on that note, its….

On on on to the British Club.

Scribed by Sneaky Comer.

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