Run Report #2026 11/4/2012

The ‘Dam It’ Run

Hares: Wet Pet, Pubic Zipp

Where: Marina Barrage

On On: Dinner box on site.

The Run: Up the ramp of the Marina Barrage for a loop of the lookout deck for a bit of kite flying and nice views. A few of us who knew better took a seat out on the barrage wall and looked up to take in the nice views of runners making their way around the top of the deck. Comes Quietly was going the other way, possibly looking for the lift down.

Then down the other ramp and across the barrage wall, observed keenly by the security guards. Too Easy, who had arrived late, bypassed the observation deck and went straight over the barrage, where she was found hiding in bushes next to the first T Check.

We then proceeded in what appeared to be an anti clockwise direction through a series of construction sites that were connected by very shiggy mud tracks, along which rumbled an endless line of trucks and cement mixers. At one stage, I dared to take my eye from the line of trucks threatening to flatten us, and I think I did observe a lovely green golf course to our left.

Unfortunately, it’s inviting serenity and safety was cut off from us by a big fence.

A work supervisor at a construction site directed us through a line of parked cement mixers (that were hiding the trail markings) and through a hole in a fence. It was not long after this that the Hares decided to switch trail to a clockwise direction to head for home.

Apparently, the real trail went along more of the same muddy, shiggy construction trails and sites, winding in and out of cement mixers to reach home back across the Barrage in 1 hour.

Bagless Too, Stiff and myself, who continued in an anti clockwise direction, took the more adventurous route, despite 3 Indian construction workers saying cannot lah. Eventually finding a way over the KPE tunnel, we squeezed along the edge of a slip road to end up on the ECP. Despite no cash card for the ERP, we made our way along the edge, dropping down at the bridge to the gardens along the water.

One final obstacle was the construction gate just before the Barrage, which caused a quick 200-meter dash to sneak through before it was locked. While we made it through, unbeknown to us, Virginia Slim and Not Tonight were still strolling in the park as the gate locked.

Wet Patch was not feeling so adventurous with a dodgy tummy, and made an emergency landing into the Brewerkz toilets and then made his own way home.

Well done Hares, best run I have done from this car park.

The Circle: The stand in GM, Wet n Wild, calls us to order, and achieves forming a rather distorted Circle. Rather fitting, actually.

Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Too many trucks, lorries, cement mixers. And way too dusty. Well done.

Tell us about your On On: Dinner box of rice, chicken and other stuff, $5.

Next week’s run: Pasir Ris, Jalan Loyang Besar Car Park A (take a left on the part of Jalan Loyang Besar that is near the beach/park), on site makan, possibly a live Hare run.

Visitors / Returnees: Paulina, Who The F#*k is Christine, Ember, Totally Unacceptable, Missionary Position, Martin, Stiff and Bagless Too.

Virgins: A male sacrifice. And Melissa, recent ex virgin.

New Member: Nope.

Lipstick gloss: Cock Radio, Stiff, Wet Patch, Sneaky Comer [ed for being too smart to run up the top of the barrage building and back again].

Tits: Virginia Slim tells how Pubic Zipp has always had her eyes on him, but tonight she committed an act of jealous outrage. As he arrived late, and so did Not Tonight, the 2 of them were directed by the Hare to go for a pleasant stroll over the dam wall and into the gardens. Little did they know that the Hare was sending them down the Path of Death, as the Hare failed to tell them that the gate back to the dam is locked at 7pm.

So there they were at 7.05, so near to home yet so far away, locked out.

So there was only one thing to do – into the water. Throwing Not Tonight in first, to check the depth and clear away any crocodiles, they made it around the locked fence and returned safely. So the jealous one, Pubic Zipp, gets the Tits.

Dick: Jack Off takes a down down for forgetting the Dick. Or was it confiscated at the Causeway Checkpoint last week??

Awards – Nope.


· Hooray, making a habit of charging first, charges the Hares for failing to name this the Mugabe Run (apparently Robert Mugabe, infamous President of Zimbabwe has been in Singapore for a bit of surgery – scribe).

· Fat Crashing Bastard remembers Cock Radio taking a fall while running 6 years ago, putting him into hospital and his whole leg into plaster. But he was impressed with my composure tonight as I tripped, managing a pike with half twist before commando rolling into the bushes. (Maggot put it into Australian words – I went down like a bag of shit).

· Shaggy Dick Too was asked by a Harriet to remind her ‘not to wear these shoes again.’ So he immediately replied, ‘Don’t wear those shoes again.’ And just to make sure, he added ‘they look crap.’ This promptly got poor Shaggy a slap across the face. And when he asked her if she did any shopping on her recent trip to that shopping mecca, Hong Kong, the reply was ‘I’m not really a shopper.’ On in Shoe Shopper.

· All the Phils were invited into the Circle, and there were a few ring ins I think. Seems like Shoe Shopper was more concerned about these other Phil’s rather than the welfare of her own husband Phil, who was still out missing somewhere on the run.

· Maggot told us there was an 8.9 earthquake in Sumatra this evening, apparently triggered by Cock Radio hitting the ground when he tripped. Who ate all the pies?

· Stiff reminds us that we tend to forget things, as we get older, as evidenced by a charge being left out of last week’s run report, because the scribe ‘forgot’ the charge. Or was it selective forgetfulness, as Stiff recalls that the charge was about the scribe wanting to do rub Jack Off’s bottom, and chatting up the virgin. Did the scribe not want these lewd acts published??

· Herr Zipp, with the Tits on his back, then did a waltz with Virginia Slim, who hung on tightly to the pair of mammary glands.

· Gypsy reminds us that the purpose of a T check is to keep the Pack together by making the faster runners travel a further distance and then have to come back again. So why did Wet Pet, a Hare, yell out to Tiger Lily, SD2 et al ‘Don’t go that way, it’s a back check.’ What’s the point of having a back check asks Gypsy.

· Jack Off was a little confused when trying to count with Not Tonight how many Phils were in the Circle before. She was certain that Not Tonight’s total included Shoe Shopper, who Jack Off, after much careful thinking and deliberation, had declared ‘Shoe Shopper is not a Phil.’ Watch out for the shooting stars.

· Sneaky Comer, being a resident of the East Coast, knows the area like the back of his hand. However, his wife is a different case. Wet n Wild was sure she knew the way back, and started to take off. ‘Unless they have moved the Beer Wagon from Marina Barrage to Changi Airport, don’t go that way,’ is the advice given by Sneaky to his confused (blonde) wife.

· Shaggy Dick Too has a surprising charge – Tiger Lily didn’t have a clue where she was on tonight’s run. And just how many fun runs, marathons and triathlons has she done that take in the East Coast and Shears Bridge? Seriously, how does she ever finish her races?

· Virginia Slim recalls how the area over the other side of the river was once a grassland with low bushes, and was a popular hang out area for older males who fancied younger boys. So who was SD2, Maggot and Sneaky Comer trying to entice with their drink bottles over there tonight?

· Shoe Shopper was told by Kamala, ‘You can’t keep and reheat Chinese food, it smells.’ Unlike Indian food that does not excrete any smell whats so ever?

On on to $5 dinner box.

Scribed by Cock Radio.

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