The Smart Run
Hares: Sybil, Dances With Kerbs, Zipp, Gypsy
Where: ROM car park, Fort Canning
On On: On site home made curry chicken, mutton, fish, veggies. $6.
The Run: 4 Hares to set a Run? That does not sound very smart. Turning up for a run in torrential rain – not smart. The Hare placing his umbrella on top of his car – what, to keep it dry? Not smart. Sitting in your car staying dry – only delays the inevitable, so not smart. Only having a $40 Nokia was not smart. The Hare’s smart phone malfunctioning definitely not smart. The Hares original plan of heading out of the car park via a drain was not smart – it had been turned into a waterfall. Posh Nash was not smart -unable to locate the first picture – the set of steps in the car park 10 metres away. Sneaky Comer abusing the GM on the run was not smart. Your scribe crossing the river and running along Boat Quay was not smart as the run did not go there. And so on and so on.
Well, what was smart about this run, anything at all?
* For those people not there, there was no trail marked. Considering the rain we had, there would have been no trail left, so that was smart. Instead, those with a smart phone had to log into Sybil’s Face Book account, where there was a set of some 133 photos [ed, see http://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn#!/media/set/?set=a.104972896306406.6115.100003810873419&type=3] of various landmarks along the way. Runners had to look at their phones and try and locate the next photo landmark.
Well, it was a good run site, the rain did stop, it was an innovative and creative run, and it was very scenic. Landmarks included Raffles Cottage at Fort Canning, the fire station, Clarke Quay, Boat Quay (viewed from the other side of the river, except for CR who ran through it), Raffles statue, The Merlion, The Durian, Marina Bay Sands, The Indian War Memorial (where CR and Slim were brought back from the dead), The Padang, Boo’s office and the Registry of Marriages.
Definitely a good run Hares. Smart?
The Circle: The GM quickly assembled everyone under a clear sky.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? ‘Best digital run ever.’ Hard to argue with that. But we want to know is who set up a Face Book account for Sybil?
Tell us about your On On: On site home made curry chicken, mutton, fish and veggies, $6
Next week’s run: Vigilante Drive, top of Kent Ridge Park.
Visitors / Returnees: Two Jugs, Slack Arse.
Virgins: Janet and Jessie, who described it as a ‘Phenomenal Run. ‘Best Hash Run they have ever done in fact.
New Member: Nope.
Lipstick: Sneaky Comer and Cock Radio. (And I forgot to wipe it off – not sure what the taxi driver must have thought.)
Tits: Boo has the Tits, Posh Nash said she wished she had Tits, Boo offered his, for a fee of course (he is a lawyer). Father Anus for coming after the run but not before the run. Virginia Slim for exposing his legs tonight in a pair of sexy red shorts. Unfortunately for us, the word ‘expose’ provided Slim with the opportunity to expose more than just his legs, creating an instant lack of appetite for those of us standing behind him. There was more than one full moon tonight. Slim wins the Tits.
Dick: Jack Off, having given it a head job for several weeks, finally removes it from her head and twirls it around her fingers. Arriving late, she asked for some clues from the Hares, who sent her the wrong way up the river path. Zipp is the culprit.
Awards – nope
· Sneaky Comer declares himself to be old, fat and slow. (He would have been disappointed if he expected us to sing the ‘bullshit’ song). But tonight he was able to stay in touch with the FRBs the whole way, as the run was slowed because of the following combination. The run required technology, a sense of direction, and a woman in front. We all know that is a combination that just does not work.
· Cock Radio backs up Sneaky’s charge. Posh Nash could not even work out the first photo clue – the set of steps going up the hill out of the car park, ten meters from where she was standing.
· Slack Arse charged the Hares for providing us with misleading clues. He produced one photo of 2 strange ladies.
· The GM assures us that we are all pretty healthy and fit, and capable of a run. Why then did she come across 2 Associate Members sitting on the steps of the Indian War monument, beneath the inscription that said ‘Our Glorious Dead.’ Virginia Slim and Cock Radio are duly court martialled.
· Sneaky Comer knows how the 2 guilty men had discovered this location – Virginia Slim had somehow managed to print out all the photo clues, thus providing a short cut opportunity.
· Zipp suggests that Virginia Slim and Forced Entry book a hotel room, as she had spotted them rolling around on the ground together at one stage of the run. (Apparently Forced Entry ended up with a sore bottom out of it – was it a forced entry?)
· Wet n Wild further charged Slim and Forced Entry for skipping along the river hand in hand.
· Sneaky Comer and Cock Radio are curious as to how a Fort Canning Run could ever get ‘Run of the Year.’ So what makes a run appealing to the girls? No, it’s not the remoteness, it’s not the nice jungle, nature trails, wildlife, mountain streams, hills etc etc. What makes a run good is the chance to go shopping for a new dress along the way, drop into a little café for a coffee, and a wine bar for a chardonnay. So anyone who wants run of the year, get in quick for an Orchard Rd site before they are all taken.
· Slack Arse calls in all those with an iPhone. Those that actually used it were allowed to leave, leaving Stiffy, Forced Entry and Melissa as those so challenged by the first photo clue that their batteries went dead before they made it out of the car park.
· Stiffy charged Melissa for yawning during the past charge. She fired back immediately by saying that she has been doing her reading, and there is nothing in the Constitution that says yawning is not allowed.
· Kan Not Kan called in Not Tonight, Janet and Stiffener for all running with an umbrella. Kan The Kobra ran in a poncho. And Jessie who ran in a poncho and with an umbrella, but still complained of getting wet underwear.
· Wet n Wild noticed that Jessie was doing a little dance while ‘He’s the meanest ….’ was being sung, so she calls in an expert at the dance for the ‘Meanest,’ song to give her some dance lessons – Kan Not Can – and the 2 of them do a little mean jig in the Circle.
· Fat Crashing Bastard started a move for Jessie to get a naming – ‘My Underwear is Wet,’ ‘Wet My Knickers,’ ‘Wet Pussy,’. All good names, but no common consensus. Next time.
On on to home cooked makan.
Scribed by Cock Radio.
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact:
“Jo … Jo. ”
“Is that you, David?”
“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”
“That’s wonderful! What’s it like?”
“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple
of more times. Then I have lunch. You’d be proud – lots of greens. Another romp
around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it’s back to the golf course again. Then it’s more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again”
“Oh, David, are you in Heaven?”
“No………..I’m a rabbit in Norfolk!