Run Report #2031 16/5/2012

The Return of Two Jugs Run

Hares: Two Jugs & Wet Brazilian

Where: Kent Ridge Park

On On: Blueys a la carte

Important Reminder: National Parks.

Setting a run in any park or area controlled by National Parks requires a permit that must be submitted 4 weeks before the run. Please see for detailed requirements.

The Run With the promise of ‘It will be a short run,’ and ‘There is a drink stop,’ the Pack set off. A few of us soon found ourselves taking the steps all the way to the bottom of the hill, only to find a T Check. Stupidly I followed Sneaky Comer up a path, only to have to come back again.

All the way back to the top, and into the bush. The run then proceeded through bush, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down and across Kent Ridge Park, finally emerging onto South Buona Vista Rd.

Down more steps and into National University. What goes down must come up again, and it was up to Science Park Drive for a re entry into the bottom of the Park at the lake. A Circle Check at a revolting smelly rubbish bin saw Shaggy Dick Too decide he had not enough step climbs and went up, Tiger Lily disappeared to the right, while Wet Patch, using his sense of smell went left and found the vodka/cranberry drink stop.

The alcohol helped numb the final climb back up the hill to the car park. 8.76++ kms of thigh breaking up and downs.

The Circle:

Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Obviously set by 2 ladies who like going up and down a lot. It had a bit of everything – hills, flats, bush and road. Good run

Tell us about your On On: Blooie’s (we ran past it). [Ed: well some of us did J]. Stiffy gives directions, 4 times.

Next week’s run: Lower Pierce Reservoir, off Upper Thompson Rd. Fat Crashing Bastard and Too Easy. [Ed, later changed to Muslim Cemetery. Please, hares, read the rules at the end of the newsletter].

Visitors / Returnees: There were but I can’t find the list. I remember Bagless 2, King Lear, a couple of guys from Cornwall on the way to interhash, and whistle man (Public Enema) and his gal from Guam.

Virgins: nope

New Member: Nope.

Lipstick: Cock Radio, Hooray, Public Enema, Chopper and his mate.

Tits: Virginia Slim has his hands on them, not giving them up yet.

Dick: Zipp had the Tits, but she had trouble locating them in her car because Sneaky Comer had littered it with all his clothes and stuff, so she decided he should take everything out of the back of her car, including the Dick.

First candidate was Stiffy for giving incorrect information and sending a few of us the wrong way at the first T Check [Ed: far out, it was funnier than that – Stiffy had remarked that he had “taken Wet Brazilian down that path before, so the run could go that way”]. Second was Fat Crashing Bastard who not only tries to give virgin’s names, but is wearing virgin shoes.

I think Stiffy won. [Ed: nope, Dick went to FCB. Cock Radio, you really did get the notes wet in the pool, didn’t you?]

Awards – nope.


· Stiffy gets in Shaggy Dick Too and Bagless 2 and asks us if there is any similarity at all between them. They are both male. Yes. From Great Britain. Yes, but apart from that? Good looking? Well… Intelligent? Now we are pushing it. Ok, they look nothing at all alike. Two Jugs still can’t tell them apart.

· Sneaky Comer questions the Hares on whether an 8.76++ run qualifies as a ‘short’ run. Good point.

· Kan Not Kan gets Bagless 2 and Shaggy Dick Too back in, having discovered another difference between them. One wears spectacles?

· Jack Off points out that Shaggy and Bagless aren’t originals – they are both ‘toos.’

· Stiffy watched Boo parking his car; it took him 4 attempts to reverse it in. Boo’s excuse – ‘Mines bigger than everyone else’s.’ And we all thought size didn’t matter.

· Kan Not Kan gets the ‘Two’ Family in – Bagless 2, Shaggy Dick Too, Too Easy, Two Jugs, and Boo Boo. It was all too much really.

· Sybil is in, causing a mass sit down on the ground by members. The GM does not lower herself to that level, choosing to sit on the scribe’s knee instead. (It was actually a pleasant experience to have a wet Brazilian on my knee.) The gist of the charge was Dances With Kerbs was too slow for Sybil tonight.

· Jack Off and Shaggy Dick both charged the visitor with the whistle for destroying the serenity, not to mention their ear drums. The single blast every time he saw a mark was bad enough, but the continuous blast at every Check was too much. Can someone teach him to say ‘On On?’

· Shoe Shopper heard Tiger Lily complaining, as they ran past Blooie’s, that she can never find Blooie’s. How do you get there? Umm, you just got there Tiger.

· Sneaky Comer with quote of the year from Tiger Lily. ‘I always know where I am, I have a good sense of direction.’

· Hooray charged Kan Not Kan for getting lost for 5 days while doing a recee. (But who was the bastard who found him??)

· Sneaky Comer heard Stiffy say ‘The only place in Singapore that you can get lost for 5 days is Orchard Towers. Speaking from experience obviously. And cops a beer over his head from his wife for good measure.

· Kan Not Kan suggested that our visitors from Cornwall were looking a little pasty. A very corny charge. Did they eat all the pies?

· Shoe Shopper reckons it’s bizarre how Singaporeans reserve their spot at a coffee shop by placing a packet of tissues on the table, but now we have Melissa (head job) reserving her place in the Circle with a pair of sandals.

· Not Tonight calls in the shoe expert, Shoe Shopper, to consult the GM about her shoes, as she could not go down in them.

· The GM charges herself – for breaking a Check before she remembered that she was the Hare.

· Stiffy charges the GM for too much familiarity from Hash carrying into the work place. At school, her tooth fell out, she unwrapped a tissue to show him her screw in tooth. Get your teeth into that charge.

On on to Blooie’s. Ask Tiger Lily how to get there.

Scribed by Cock Radio.

Stiffener was counting all the 5 and 10 cent coins out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. Stiff thought to himself, “She’s going through the change.”

When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonker’s saying that they wouldn’t feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexist nerds. I mean, it’s not as if she’d have to reverse the bloody thing.

Local Police are hunting the ‘Knitting Needle Nutter,’ who has stabbed six people in the bum in the last 48 hours. They believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.

Bought some ‘rocket salad’ yesterday but it went off before I could eat it.

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