Run Report #2033 30/5/2012

The ‘Nowhere near Bukit Timah Rd.’ Run

Hares: Wet&Wild, Sneaky Comer

Where: Car Park F2 East Coast Park.

On On: Sunset Bay Beach Bar

The Run: Oh we do like to be beside the seaside…. Except when it is p*#sing down rain. I can’t remember ever doing a wet East Coast Run, but at 5.45 down came the rain, and washed away the trail. The Hares were not happy chappy’s, and their vocab was limited to one word – it started with f and ended in k.

It was decided to focus on the jungle section, where there may still be remnants of paper. As there is only one bit of jungle on the entire East Coast, this gave us a fair clue on where to head to under the ECP.

Despite the Hares extensive recce’ing, last minute hiccups setting trail included a bridge missing over a canal, some jungle grass that had rapidly grown over head height on the trail, the ECP mysteriously renamed East Coast Rd. and failing to use waterproof chalk to mark trail on the road sections.

Despite the lack of trail in parts, the Hares did a great job in giving us a 6.4km run and getting everyone back in an hour. Everyone that is except Kan Not Kan who did the impossible on an East Coast Run – got lost. And took a couple of visitors with him for good measure.

The Circle: The Circle proceeded under a clear sky.

Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Too dry, not enough National Park Rangers, too close to Bukit Timah Rd. An enjoyable run thanks.

Tell us about your On On: Sunset Bay Beach Bar, a la carte.

Next week’s run: Shaggy Dick Too’s Farewell Run, Blackmore Drive then Red Lantern.

Visitors / Returnees: Tampon, Public Enema, Stephan, Stiff, Two Jugs, Chopper, Dock Leaf, Kim.

Virgins: nope.

New Member: Nope.

Lipstick: Cock Radio for finding trail on his own where there was no trail. And Zipp is gorgeous. (She wrote that in my scribe notes while I was getting lippy – CR).

Tits: Shaggy Dick Too told me about how his long, good pants, which he has not worn for a while, were rather tight when he put them on to go to the Grade 8 Graduation. But lucky he had a belt on in case the button popped. After a chicken tandoori the night before, followed by high tea at the Orchard Hotel, his pants were considerably tighter, threatening to snap the buckle of his belt. When he remembered I had the Tits, he said don’t give them to him as he was setting the run next week and would have no way of taking the Tits along. Comes Quietly had a way to overcome this problem – find someone who can take them for him next week. Stupidly, Comes Quietly told me he would be at next week’s run, so my problem was solved – tell the story about Shaggy’s Tandoori tight pants and give the Tits to Comes Quietly to take for him. Job done.

Dick: Stiffy, still recovering from his bike hash without a bike episode last week, not here.

Awards – nope


· Kan Not Kan had a very ‘annoying’ charge about SD 2 going to ‘Hanoi.’

· Shoe Shopper, showing that Tasmanians have literacy appreciation, praised Can Not Kan for his satirical eloquence.

· The GM congratulated Tiger Lily and Pubic Zipp for winning their divisions in the Bintan Triathlon. But what happened to Shaggy Dick Too??? ‘Built for comfort, not speed,’ was his reply. Judging by his placing, there is a lot of comfort involved.

· Sneaky Comer was amazed how an interhash veteran, Kan Not Kan, could possibly get lost on the East Coast. Not only got lost, but took a group of visitors with him on a misadventure towards the airport.

· Despite extensive recce’ing, the Hares could not believe their bad luck tonight.

The plank bridge over the canal was gone.

The grass had grown so long it was overhead, causing the Hares all sorts of navigational problems. In fact there was a possible sighting of the very rare ‘Where the f#*k are we bird.’ However, it turned out to be Wet N Wild, jumping up and down to try and see above the long grass, calling out to Sneaky ‘Where the f*#k are we?’

Not to mention the ¾ of the run that was set on chalk.

· Tonight was a sad moment – the last trip of the ISS School Bus. Shaggy Dick Too was proud that it had one final adventure. On locking the car, Shoe Shopper took her keys to the beer wagon and dropped them into what she thought was the key tray. However, the tray was not a tray, it was actually a Carlsberg bucket full of water. ‘What are you doing, that water lah!’ cried Croc Hunter. Well, electronic key systems don’t take kindly to swimming, and this one responded by not going ‘beep beep’ when pointed at the car door. Here’s to the beep beep bimbo.

· Whistleman complains that 2 times he has been to Singapore in 2 weeks and it rained both times, so he charges the Hares.

· Cock Radio then informed Whistleman that it has only rained 2 times in 2 weeks and thus charges Whistleman for being a drought buster.

· The GM reminds us that it was 1 year ago at this run site that we had a Hash Wedding. Tonight the bride is here on her own, Shoe Shopper, but it appears that the best man, Wet Patch, has run away with the sexy bridesmaid, Camel Humper.

· Herr Zipp informs of the longest sentence in any language: ‘I do.’

· Tiger Lily informs Whistleman that we have enough teachers on the Hash and don’t need another one running around on trail blowing their whistle.

· Kan Not Kan salutes the birthday runners – visitors Chopper and Public Enema, Wet n Wild and Shoe Shopper.

· When setting a run, Sneaky Comer usually gets up to date weather forecasts from Cock Radio on the possibility of rain. Tonight it actually rained but there was no weather alert given by CR. (As we reached the top of Shears Bridge on the way to the run, looking east towards Changi, passengers in the ISS school bus did have a chuckle when we saw a big storm cloud hovering over car park F2).

· Kan Not Kan asked what do Shaggy Dick 2, Sneaky Comer, and Boo have in common? Shaggy is going to Hanoi, Sneaky Comer’s uncle’s Hash Name is Hanoi Bill, and Boo (as well as being nearly as old as Hanoi Bill (83), looks like one of Hanoi’s most famous people, Uncle Ho Chi Minh.

· Another Hash naming attempt for Melissa by Dances With Kerbs. Melissa is kindly offered a drive home from last week’s Hash, but questions the driver – ‘Can you drive? Are you legless?’ There’s gratitude for you! All potential names fall through, and Melissa remains Melissa.

On on to Sunset Bay Beach Bar. (Singapore, not Hawaii)

Scribed by Cock Radio. (And sent from Hoi An Viet Nam because the bloody Qantas lounge at Changi doesn’t open now until 3pm – great when you have midday flights).

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.  He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!”  The doctor replied, “I know you can’t, I’ve cut your arms off”.

I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a muscle.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with chocolate buds and hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. “My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?”  “Well,” said the vet, “let’s have a look at him”   So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.  Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.”   “What? Because he’s cross-eyed?”   “No, because he’s really heavy”.

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