Run Report #2038 4/7/2012

The “Septic Tank (aka American Independence Day” run

Hares: Big Head & Virginia Slim

Where: House of Big Head, Ridout Road

On On: House of Big Head

The Circle: 8 Miles wide nearly forgot that she was the scribe. Thankfully, Zipp the stand-in GM was sober enough to remind her.

Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? The hares, Virginia Slim and Big Head, were called into the circle. A good run was unanimously proclaimed.

Tell us about your On On: Big Head announced that there was going to be Jamabalaya – and here several members broke into the Carpenters’ “Jambalaya”, so until the on-on 8 Miles thought there was going to be crawfish pie and fillet gumbo, too.

Next week’s run: Not sure if this was announced at circle, but anyway the run is at the car park on the corner of Sin Ming Drive and Sin Ming Lane. Hares are Maggot and Dripping Wet. [Ed: look at the map!]

Zipp charged 8 Miles Wide for leaving her watch on the table, called her a D-I-N-G-B-A-T, and laughed hysterically with the accompanying thigh-slapping of one too drunk to remember.

Visitors: Rusty T-Bone, Trash, Bagless 2.

Returnees: Quicksand.

Virgins: Marcus.

Lipstick: There was no lipstick, but Wet Patch, Rusty T-Bone, Shoeshopper, Fat Crashing Bastard, Marcus and Bagless 2 were given a down-down.

Dick: Father Anus lamented the fact that nobody broke the last check, and here he laid out all the material that Slim had generously provided – several pieces of chalk and enough flour for Slim to make a cake. Virginia Slim gets the dick for the cake he could’ve made.

Tits: 8 Miles Wide gave Sybil the tits for getting her name wrong three times that evening – despite the fact that most hash members still call her by her name, Melissa. In what universe does Melissa sound remotely similar to Michelle, anyway?

The Americans assembled in the circle and Slim led them in a randy, celebratory anthem.


· Zipp gave Loose Change a charge for asking who’d want to marry Tom Cruise. (But very little of what Zipp said was intelligible by then.)

· Shoeshopper charged 8 Miles Wide for breaking the T check, and then not sharing that the check required them to return to the sports complex. 8 Miles Wide was being a conniving lawyer in the making, and nobody likes conniving lawyers. Herr Zipp and Boo were therefore also guilty of the charge.

· Sybil and Fat Crashing Bastard were charged for sitting. Sitting is only permissible when Kan Not Kan or Sybil are speaking.

· Zipp jocundly announced to 8 Miles Wide that she was “dead –hic – drunk”. You don’t say.

· Slocum charged 8 Miles Wide for failing to make sense of Sybil’s earlier charge against Zipp. (The charge is undocumented because 8 Miles was also the scribe.) Can anyone blame her, though?

· Loose Change charged Slim for setting such a dirty run. She couldn’t get up the sewage drain.

· Fat Crashing Bastard knew that Big Head deliberately set a run with a drain spewing black slime, which Loose Change got a nice mouthful of.

· Zipp thought she’d give 8 Miles another update on her state of sobriety.

· Kan Not Kan observed that Boxer was the only one short enough to –not – have to bend over in the entire course of the run.

· Stiffy pointed out that Kan Not Kan was nowhere as interesting as the random retriever whom half the circle was fawning over while Kan Not Kan was giving his charge. Stiffy partook of the same charge because everyone was still looking at the dog.

· Quickie, capitalizing on the retriever’s appearance, made a quick pitch for the dog hash.

On-on to Big Head’s, where 8 Miles Wide was pleased to find Jambalaya, Creole, grilled corn, salad, and the best salsa ever.

Scribed by 8 Miles Wide, no thanks to Zipp.

This entry was posted in Runs and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>