The “achieving enlightenment is all very well, but not if I have to climb that fence” run
Hares: Maggot & Dripping Wet
Where: Sin Ming Drive/Lane
On On: Ah Orh Seafood, Sin Ming Drive
The Run: Given the hares harried state when they arrived back at the run site, and given that the run was almost entirely “on chalk”, I was reflecting on a poor choice of shoes (having brought my muddiest mud bashers along) as stand in GM Shoe Shopper gave instructions and welcomed virgins.
A number of clever (in the sense that they allowed the hares to set a one hour run in 30 minutes) circle check had the pack spread to the four winds looking for chalk. I couldn’t really tell you where we went without double checking a street directory, but we had an interesting tour of the kiddie parks in Bishan. Most of the circle checks were under kiddie swings and we got more than one welcome helping hand (pointing out the on on) from a toddler. We finished up in Bishan Park for the only bit of potential shaggy, a run under Marymount Road and a crawl out of the drain. On home was through the Kong Meng San PHor Kark See Monastery and over the (locked) back gate of the Bright Hill Crematorium & Columbarium (yes, I confess, I did consult the street directory after all) – if you were younger than Boo. If not, you reversed direction and went back to Sin Ming Ave, Bright Hill Road, and caught up on a bit of shopping on the way home in Midview City.
The Circle: Just as stand in GM Shoe Shopper pronounced us ready to start the circle, it pissed down with ran. Stopping quicky to put her condom on, the circle began.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Very good run (like always reports the scribe).
Tell us about your On On: Ah Orh seafood, turn right then left then right. Two tables at the on on for always good food.
Next week’s run: Father Anus announced that “Sarah”, also known as Lethal Weapon, will be next week’s hare at Lorong Sesuai. He did so while pointing at the sky, which is a Freudian slip for “I have to run up and down that f&^%ing hill at least twice next week as hare consultant”. Father Anus was reminded to take plenty of water on his recce, to prevent another dramatic episode of severe dehydration. He should probably get around to using his new Camelbak.
Lipstick: This week there was lipstick, but Wet Patch still received his orally from Shoe Shopper. Father Anus had his lipstick applied in the more traditional fashion.
Tits: Sybil had forgotten to bring the tits.
Virgins: Claire from Houston. She promised to bring her husband the next run.
Visitors: Cum Zero, Patrick, and Stiff.
Returnees: Wet Patch, and In & Out.
Dick: Slim put the dick on Herr Zipp, complementing his poncho to give the appearance of a life-sized condom..
AOB
· Shoeshopper charged Maggot for setting the run on half-arrows. Australians – they only ever get the job half-done.
· Sneaky Comer charged Father Anus for his track record of charming the new girls. True to his inclinations, Father Anus was caught asking Claire if she was married, barely ten words into their conversation. You’d think he’s mastered the art of subtlety after so much practice.
· Stiffy mis-charged 8 Miles Wide for the second time – (Recap: During the circle of Gypsy’s Facebook Run at the ROM, Stiffy charged 8 Miles for yawning in the circle. 8 Miles Wide countered that she had read the entire Harriets’ website, and nowhere did it say that members weren’t allowed to yawn in the circle. Stiffy got a down-down for trying to be mean, but failing miserably. ) – He thought she was texting her boyfriend in the circle, when she was scribing on her iPhone. (For the record, 8 Miles Wide isn’t straight.) An epic failure, Stiffy – Strike Two!
· Father Anus charged 8 Miles Wide for her decent (virgin) attempt at scribing.
· But wait – the charge on Stiffy gets better! Turns out, not only had Stiffy mistakenly questioned 8 Miles Wide’s character, he had no excuse to do so – Shoeshopper had already told him that 8 Miles Wide was scribing on her phone, he just forgot. A toast was given to good old age.
· Herr Zipp charged 8 Miles Wide for appearing on a televised panel discussion on sex education, and not taking him with her. He would’ve made a great accessory for her anti-abstinence position.
· Stiffy was charged again for his senility, this time by Not Tonight – maybe she forgot that Stiffy had already received his charge for forgetfulness.
· Big Head charged the hares for including a puny drain in this run, compared to last week’s monstrosity. What a disappointment.
· Boo couldn’t climb the fence so he went the long way, coming in pretty damned late for a pathological short-cutter. He was probably afraid for his balls.
· Since In & Out was the only Scotsman around, Stiffy decided he’d make a great scapegoat for Scotland’s failure to win the Wimbledon.
On-on to real, -actual- Chinese food.
Scribed by 8 Miles Wide
[with a couple of minor corrections where the iPhone was clearly malfunctioning in the rain J].